Male Birth Control: It's Here, And It's A Game Changer

Reposted from The Red Pill Room, my other blog.

Oh, my.

I stumbled across this link today, and after I read it the world wobbled the way it does when my relatively straight-forward idea of how the future is going to play out gets challenged.  Like this.

Quite simply, it is a male birth-control procedure, essentially a temporary (10 years) vasectomy that can be easily and cheaply administered and easily and cheaply removed.

And it's going to change everything.

Most people don't realize just how profound the change was when a large segment of society got access to reliable birth control the first time.  Simply put, this wonderful biochemical gift enabled female hypergamy and plenty of lusty evenings without worrying about the possibility of pregnancy.  That allowed married couples to limit the number of kids they had and devote more resources per capita, thus improving the next generation's socio-economic circumstances.  Or it allowed your wife to go sleep with that dude with the 12" pecker next door and not get knocked up.  Either way, it was an official Game Changer, like industrialization, digital technology, or liberalized divorce laws.

Of course, with the assumption that the woman you were doing was, indeed, on birth control and took it like a responsible adult has led to many unplanned pregnancies.  Indeed, it's always been the ambitious girl's fall-back plan: find some rich dude, fuck him, get pregnant, let him support her and the kid so she doesn't have to work so hard.  Sure, it sounds shallow and conniving, but I've heard plenty of women (and some die-hard feminists -- I shit you not) declare that as their plan.  And with abortion legal, it really puts the male in question in an unenviable and untenable spot.  Sure, a woman has a right to choose to become a parent -- and I'll support that to my dying breath -- but if a dude wanted to skip that part, he was pretty much at the mercy of the mother in question, and had to live with the result of her decision no matter what his opinion was. As a dude, your best cover is a condom, and they are not (as my brother discovered) 100% effective.  Especially not if the woman in question is deceitful enough to "slip one past the goalie".

But no more.

With this procedure, you could get your 15 year old testosterone-poisoned son "temporarily fixed", teach him Game, and turn him loose on the unsuspecting female public with a box of condoms and you don't have to worry about grandchildren until he's 25.  Hilarity ensues.

What happens when every dude in High School is suddenly shooting blanks?  A drop in teenage pregnancy, for certain, but a sharp rise in pump-and-dump spectaculars.  And girls won't even have the pregnancy scare to fall back on.  They're going to have to work and compete for male attention among the boys, who won't be nearly as terrified of sex anymore -- and dudes who know Game will know how to exploit that.

As soon as this clears clinical trials, I'm looking into it for my sons.  If I can get them the HPV vaccine, then this seems a no-brainer.  I want grandkids, of course, but I want them in the proper time when my kids can properly support them.  This way, I can ensure that won't be until they have decent jobs and have played their way through the Puerarchy.

But it's not the teenage girls who are going to have it the worst.  This is going to hit the 30-something-and-only-five-eggs-left women who use one-night-stands as a last-ditch effort to get pregnant.  I know two such who went that route.  In the future, no more.

The other group this will hurt, in the long run, are feminists.  If men can ensure that they are infertile until they desire to have kids, then the onus of reproduction AND relationships suddenly goes back to the male, in a startling shift of power.  You'll see wives begging their husbands to get un-fixed so that they can have a baby, and men deciding to wait until they're ready.  That's going to put some stress on some relationships, of course,  but it's also going to remove the power of women to dictate to men when, where and how they are going to have kids, and who pays for them.  And feminists (at least the current Fourth Wave crop) are going to go fucking bananas about this, when they realize that.

It should be fun to watch.

"Ian, could you go over that thing about porn again?"

I saw a comment over at Athol Kay's excellent blog, Married Man Sex Life that I had to respond to. Some folks thought that it was good enough to be posted as a post on it's own, so I thought, why not?

Here's the question, in response to a dude "manning up" and taking the porn filters off of the computer, apparently placed there at an earlier date by his wife who objected to him watching:

[H]ave you figured out why your wife just might object to the porn being readily available?

Have men absolutely no clue as to why a woman would be unhappy with this idea? Yep, some women watch it,too but would venture most don't and a lot of women have a real problem with a spouse that is heavily into it. So many reasons why.

By the way the sex industry is not so pristine (odd idea anyway for it) that you might be supporting the crime of sex trafficking. Any concerns?

Sorry, I disagree. But then I work in the industry. Allow me to rebut:

Men do know why a woman would be unhappy with porn: it provides an alternate sexual outlet to her, and reduces her ability to control the sex life within the relationship. With the "competition" from imaginary women, a woman has higher sexual expectations to live up to, a more knowledgeable partner who may desire things outside of her comfort zone, and a medium through which to express his sexuality without her permission.

If a man is watching porn at home, he's likely watching one of two things these days (and believe me, I spend a lot of my time examining male porn viewing habits -- it's my bread and butter). The first is homemade porn shot by consenting couples in the privacy of their own homes (well over 50% of total porn viewing). The second is professionally-made porn by a reputable studio. Neither one of these areas encourages "sex trafficking" as you speak of it. And if its the suffering of the poor girls you're worried about remember that a) they are very-well compensated for their work and the vast majority enjoy it tremendously and b) there are orders of magnitude more human suffering, despair, and brutal sexual conditions for the poor women in third-world countries who slave away for less than a dollar an hour with no job security, no safety regs, and where putting out for the boss is an expected part of your job . . . all so the women of the West can enjoy fashionable clothes and shoes at affordable prices.

So let's not talk about "sex trafficking", shall we? Pro porn doesn't do that.

Further, you have to understand that to most men, porn is an important expression of their sexuality. Through porn they can maintain a sense of control of their own sexuality, and they can indulge in cultivating sexual variety and developing a fantasy life without straying from their relationship. To most men, porn serves the same function that romance novels, soap operas and "supernatural thrillers" serve for women.

"Porn addiction" (which is not a real medical or psychological condition) is a handy term that wives can use when they object to their husbands trying to assert control over their own sex lives. True, sexual obsession (which is a real psychological condition) can manifest itself through over-use of porn, but this is far rarer than most women want to believe. Most men use porn responsibly as a way to augment and inform their own sexuality. Trying to take that freedom away from a man is tantamount to restricting a woman's ability to establish her place in the social hierarchy.

The truly amazing thing about the female reluctance to accept porn is that is often used to summarily reject an otherwise good guy, because women in general can't approach the subject honestly. So you can either find a guy who says he watches porn, or you can find a guy who lies about it, but using that criteria to reject a man is just foolish.

Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011: The Red Pill way to sleep with your wife.

Athol Kay’s expertise in sex is not in his formal education – he is a nurse (NOTE: I didn’t say MALE NURSE, because his gender has nothing to do with his vocation, and vice versa – any dude who looks down on what a nurse does as ‘women’s work’ is a self-professed idiot), which my experience working with nurses tells me that he has a whole lot of practical clinical experience backed up with a demanding and difficult medical and scientific education. Being a nurse is not easy, and what you have to go through to get there is hard. (UPDATED: Athol was kind enough to email me a correction: in addition to his nursing degree, he has a BA in Sociology. But he holds that his lack of formal education is one of his greater strengths, allowing him to bring a fresh perspective to the subject. I can see his point.) Athol runs the highly popular Married Man Sex Life blog, (kind of a gateway drug for the Manosphere) from which many chapters of the book have been culled, distilled, and refined. But Athol doesn’t hold any other degree to my knowledge concerning Human Sexuality, Psychology, Anthropology or a related field.

That being said, the man knows how to do research and relate it in a useful and entertaining manner. He begins by using the work of Biological Anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher, a Rutgers professor who is also the chief scientific officer at the dating site Chemistry.com. Athol's practical explanations of the intricate science behind human desire and mating that he expounds upon in The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 is one of the best, most complete and concise discussions of the subject I’ve ever read – and I’ve been a practicing Sex Nerd for years (and a promising amateur long before that).

Better yet, it’s presented in a blunt, no-nonsense, humorous but utterly masculine style that any dude with the mental capacity to change his own oil will be able to understand. He introduces science to the discussion but doesn’t let it stomp on your buzz. Really, Athol breaks down the complex dance of hormones and the all-important menstrual cycle and its affects on men and women in the course of courtship and mating with breathtaking clarity.

(Oh, and Athol? Total sci-fi nerd. I’m intrigued with how man former jocks are now turning to this hard-core nerd to save their sex lives. The irony is delicious!)

Unlike Dr. Levkoff’s book, How To Sleep With Your Wife, the Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 speaks directly to men in language men can understand. Far from condescending, it is one of the more empowering books on sexuality I’ve ever read. It begins with the premise that it is perfectly normal and natural for a man to want and pursue a profoundly sexual relationship with his wife, and proceeds with how to attain that golden goal through a comprehensive examination of the known science of sexual attraction, desire, and courtship. He covers testosterone and estrogen, vasopressin and of course the all-important dopamine and oxytocin, and their various affects on men and women as they go around pairbonding, falling in love, and otherwise trying to have sex with each other.

But he doesn’t stop there. Athol continuously refers to Evolutionary Biology and its role in the way our mating evolved, and makes quite a point of invoking prehistoric necessity (humorously called The Time Before Writing) to explain particulars of human sexual behavior. He brings a nurse's familiarity with anatomy to the discussion about a wife's menstrual cycle and what it means to your sex life. And while he doesn’t quote sources sufficient for an academic piece, he expounds on the sex lives of our paleo ancestors (and why it’s important to us) in a way that any dude can appreciate.

Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 makes a strong case for monogamy and against any kind of mate-sharing – but it’s not a standard-issue American quasi-monogamous marriage he’s proposing, here. (Partially because he’s a Kiwi from NZ). No, he proposes that the proper way to a man’s happiness is to get laid like tile within the bounds of his marriage. And then he gives his reasoning against infidelity as powerfully as he runs step-by-step through the stark decision-making process a man uses to consider a divorce.

But it’s not a mere “demand for service” he’s proposing, either. The centerpiece to the book is his Male Action Plan (MAP). It’s a comprehensive method for a man to re-invent himself in a way which will leave his wife little choice but to either fall in healthy lust with him again or admit to mental issues and seek professional help. Or it will at least force the issue in a bad marriage and allow a man to cut the bonds cleanly before pursuing a better match. Along the way key traditional elements of masculine identity combine with an enlightened approach to modern sensibilities.

In Athol’s MMSL world, Alpha and Beta aren’t opposite ends of the dial, they’re two separate, distinct, and important controls a man employs to attract and keep a mate. Simply put, you use Alpha to attract her and hold her sexual interest, and Beta to make her comfortable and assure her of your commitment. Alpha doesn’t mean be a dick all the time. Beta doesn’t mean be a pussy all the time. But you have to know how and when and in what proportions to be both nurturing (in that specific fatherly sort of way) and commanding (in that strong Captain Picard way) without being abusive.

Included within the MAP are suggestions for improving both Alpha and Beta qualities; the use of physical fitness in your regime; the importance of setting boundaries within your relationship; holding your wife accountable; the use (not abuse) of domination strategies to encourage your wife; the potential consequences of ignoring major problems in the relationship; and the importance of a good, healthy, and attractive physical appearance in your relationship.

Athol gives you some intriguing strategies for Game, as well as examples from his own life that illustrate how to apply Game to your marriage. He and his wife Jennifer are very much in love, love each other, and apparently have an enviable amount of lusty sex while maintaining a two-career life with two adolescent daughters to raise. That’s a perspective so many men can relate to in contemporary America, and the fact that both Athol and his wife freely use humor as an essential part of their marriage to disarm potential negatives and accentuate positives gives us an outstanding example of how to do likewise in our own relationships. Dude is funny, no joke.

There’s a lot of specific terminology to master: Sex Rank, Rationalization Hamster, Red Pill/Blue Pill, Sex Strategy, Body Agenda, Preselection, Fitness Test, Beta Orbiter, Nice Guy, Oneitis, L-Spot (women love that one!) and of course the all-important term, Game. He revisits some pop-culture answers to marital problems, addressing the importance of Date Night and what it entails from a male perspective, for instance. He is devout about his insistence of positive affirmations, saying “I love you” and meaning it, and other beta-oriented stuff. But he puts it in Red Pill context, which makes it less demeaning to your spirit and more approachable as a practical matter.

This is a profoundly important book for the Manosphere, as men search for a new and successful mating strategies. While Athol’s focus is clearly on post-marital life, he devotes a good amount of space to proper Wife Selection – something far too few men even consider while they’re searching for a decent date. He points out some telling red flags in a potential wife, things that we rarely think of as we’re ogling the boobs across the room that could spell our doom. He empowers husbands to take control of themselves, their wives, and celebrate their sexuality and masculinity without shame or remorse. He doesn’t ask that you kiss your wife’s ass – unless it’s an appropriate time and place to do so and leads to you actually getting laid more. His MAP is far more about tearing yourself down to the bare metal and rebuilding your manhood without fear of being judged. After all, who can argue with becoming a better man?

Athol also respects the power of porn, which is an important thing for me. He isn’t a crazy advocate or staunchly anti-porn, and he freely acknowledges the role that porn can play in a sexually healthy marriage, and for a sexually healthy man. But he also points out that constantly whacking off to porn is not real Alpha behavior, and is ultimately not going to get you laid. Unlike other books I’ve reviewed, he understands the dangers of porn in a relationship, but he addresses it without judgment, merely as a practical matter.

If there are any criticisms I have about this book, they’re constructive, as in: I wanna see more! The promise of further annual editions is encouraging, as long as fresh material is added to augment the already-bountiful content. I also see plenty of room for additional guides dealing with more specific issues: dating, aging, recovering from divorce, and social elements for men. There is plenty of additional material Athol could introduce, such as the role of pheromones, the importance of keeping control of your social life, and how to deal with economic disparities within a marriage.

But as it stands, I could easily see MMSL become the de facto Farmers Almanac of the Manosphere. It’s about as useful a tool as a married man could ask for in terms of understanding his wife and their sex life despite whatever pscyho-fad is in vogue amongst our wives at the moment. And for $3.99 it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than marriage counseling. In fact, it’s not exactly a marriage manual – it’s more of an anti-divorce manual. But it begins with the prospect that getting laid by your wife early and often is a worthy endeavor for any man, and proceeds from there with stunning logic and blunt style. I’m very intrigued, actually, in the possibility of distilling some of the basics of his guide into easy-to-understand lessons for my boys to prepare them for the problems they’ll inevitably face when it comes to women.

Wish the hell someone had done that for me.

But my advice? Buy a copy, read it, contemplate it, begin the plan . . . but don’t tell your wife. And don’t let her read it, at least not yet. Just man-up, begin your MAP, and let her experience the newly-evolving you in all of your masculine glory.

It’s more of a surprise that way.