tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49207365179195023702024-03-19T05:47:51.247-07:00The Sex NerdThe best sex-oriented free blog around, with sex questions, porn reviews, sex commentary and inside industry information! You like sex? You need . . . the Sex Nerd!Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.comBlogger55125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-55222242141068630252012-12-13T09:30:00.002-08:002012-12-13T09:32:14.658-08:00Top 5 Toys-For-Boys Gift Suggestions (Sex Toys, that is)One of the great gender inequities of our time is how men and women view masturbation. Women have a plethora of aids to get them to the Big O, from bullets to rabbits to pocket rockets to magic wands to G-spot vibes to the industrial-strength Sybian -- but dudes usually still just stick to Rosy Palm and her four sisters.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsR_CNAZLCzTY6HK85tA_yd_A2N0bRHdh9goeVGOAuNkPJBzRidVJUjAIYcRlbVw_iUdEKHmBlG1bbYu4U2GKjx2el9jAI8LgIpWdThMYw8eBjxt3-QNYpJj3p4Ct0QnGZwoaJKviOLEag/s1600/009-family-values.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsR_CNAZLCzTY6HK85tA_yd_A2N0bRHdh9goeVGOAuNkPJBzRidVJUjAIYcRlbVw_iUdEKHmBlG1bbYu4U2GKjx2el9jAI8LgIpWdThMYw8eBjxt3-QNYpJj3p4Ct0QnGZwoaJKviOLEag/s320/009-family-values.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>This year, skip the neckties . . . unless he's into bondage! <br />These are the "toys" your "naughty boy" wants in <br />his stocking this year! Don't disappoint!</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
But fear not, ladies! If you're looking for a sexy gift for your dude before you go on deployment, start working more overtime, or are in the late stages of pregnancy and have been put on bed rest, then here is Uncle Ian's Guide To High Quality Whacking Off Toys Designed For Dudes. Sex Toys for Boys. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/sex-toys-for-men/sp-head-honcho-masturbator-6622.aspx" target="_blank">1. The Head Honcho</a><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVS9X9qbVirC_80x9eXqz7Rwib08EKzSFHQHhFvawKtJlubKYQMoJR7s-PIqGg9iR_-gdVff2asP1TVnnoglrAH_yTX1g02pj66HGXTkeQrNl8vDop_NsjUevhq8MWL4-nBXXs3dIJNe_j/s1600/5e9238e1-2d06-4419-84ce-6694718816b4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVS9X9qbVirC_80x9eXqz7Rwib08EKzSFHQHhFvawKtJlubKYQMoJR7s-PIqGg9iR_-gdVff2asP1TVnnoglrAH_yTX1g02pj66HGXTkeQrNl8vDop_NsjUevhq8MWL4-nBXXs3dIJNe_j/s320/5e9238e1-2d06-4419-84ce-6694718816b4.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><b>"Wow! I've never seen a girl use both hands before!"</b></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Known in the industry as "strokers" or "masturbators" these "pocket pussies" are the staple of the strokin' joes out there. The Head Honcho and its derivatives are particularly popular for their feel and ease of cleaning. The interior has some just lovely soft ridges that keep Mr. Happy's friction addiction under control. While the pliable exterior gets a little slippery with the addition of extra lube (you don't want your dude to do the Honcho dry unless he's a Real Man and wipes his ass with 100 grit sandpaper), if you can keep ahold of it this is one of the better strokers on the market. At just a hair over $20, it's an ideal stocking stuffer.<br />
<br />
<b>Suggested Use: </b>Next time your allergies act up, instead of a blowjob grab the Head Honcho, some lube, and hunker down between your dude's knees. Stare up adoringly at him while you ply the toy on his business end until the inevitable explosion of joy. Clean up, kiss him on the forehead, and make noises like he's been an especially good boy. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/sex-toys-for-men/sp-fleshlight-mouth-6613.aspx" target="_blank">2. The Fleshlight</a><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOyn4MYzhR6w5HpT2qmWs_UTPNmy-dQ17BXL-Z8AODLX1kUQytoZMYiuvm9GHJUAg2o5uSEhOUyzIRKg8rIJig_dl5LFeMI56F-b8_9NLqE1AO6IW_DdvnsjEvIDTchYYi8WOFUpmiejkc/s1600/GIL+ELVGREN+-+009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOyn4MYzhR6w5HpT2qmWs_UTPNmy-dQ17BXL-Z8AODLX1kUQytoZMYiuvm9GHJUAg2o5uSEhOUyzIRKg8rIJig_dl5LFeMI56F-b8_9NLqE1AO6IW_DdvnsjEvIDTchYYi8WOFUpmiejkc/s200/GIL+ELVGREN+-+009.jpg" width="144" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>The Fleshlight: <br />the closest thing to real fresh pussy <br />a man can get without buying someone dinner.</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
In the vein of the Honcho comes the Fleshlight, the more upscale version of a stroker. The Fleshlight not only has a realistic front and incredible ridging inside, it also has a rigid exterior that makes it much easier to grip. It's also larger than the Honcho, able to accommodate most gigantic cocks. But it's much heavier, too. Repeated use can lead to the overdevelopment of the wrist and forearm. It's biggest advantage is that it looks like a simple flashlight from four feet away -- handy for when your mother-in-law drops by unexpectedly. Cleaning is more complex than the Honcho, but the strokage is worth the mess.<br />
<br />
<b>Suggested Use:</b> This toy is suitable for the serious stroker -- the type of thing you give your dude before a long business trip. Watch him use it on himself, try it for him, or affix it somehow to a raised surface so he can bang merrily away at it without his arm getting tired. Use LOTS of lube, though -- this thing is big.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/sex-toys-for-men/sp-sasha-grey-deep-throat-stroker-6628.aspx" target="_blank">3. Sasha Grey Deep Throat Stroker</a><br />
<br />
Don't feel like giving hubby head this weekend? Let Sasha do it, instead! This realistic stroker is elastic, plush, and soft on his tool, and it's modeled from international pornstar and model Sasha Grey! The bad news? It probably gives a better blowjob than you do. The good news? <b>Your boobs are probably bigger than Sasha's. </b><br />
<br />
<b>Suggested Use:</b> Try this one in the middle of the night: get your dude erect without waking him up, then lube this thing and slip it on him as quietly as possible. See how far you can get him before he wakes up. You can either finish him this way or climb on to ride him to dawn.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/sex-toys-for-men/sp-the-assifier-6715.aspx" target="_blank">4. The Assifier</a><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMg-H-TekIsqySi_PAjGcBlPlFnbK4ksf8-OYokHUAqOwBgJfp5FGB3Hpp_ki0OsQD5AutrWoJ_yzAkpr7EankpR_IAbqG0bxwEGq06ejiR2clqH8xrGe_B4xoIXG92nYKgWFSbrShL0qm/s1600/PATRIOTIC-PIN-UP-JOSEPH-JASGUR-PHOTO-1942-VICTORY-GIRL-WWII-BOMBSHELL-TORPEDO-500x627.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMg-H-TekIsqySi_PAjGcBlPlFnbK4ksf8-OYokHUAqOwBgJfp5FGB3Hpp_ki0OsQD5AutrWoJ_yzAkpr7EankpR_IAbqG0bxwEGq06ejiR2clqH8xrGe_B4xoIXG92nYKgWFSbrShL0qm/s320/PATRIOTIC-PIN-UP-JOSEPH-JASGUR-PHOTO-1942-VICTORY-GIRL-WWII-BOMBSHELL-TORPEDO-500x627.jpg" width="255" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Word of Advice: <br />When approaching anal play with your husband, <br />consider starting with something on the small side. <br /> Larger toys might prove intimidating.</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
While your fella might be too homophobic to consider much butt play, the fact is he has an organ akin to your clitoris up his ass . . . and the first time it gets tagged right, it feels phenomenal. If your dude is willing to consider a little up-the-butt experimentation, consider stuffing this cute little toy . . . in his stocking. You can even let him think you got it to use on you . . . until it's too late. The Assifier is not gargantuan -- it's designed for beginners in anal play, and afterwards you won't feel like the prettiest boy on the cellblock. Its also easy to clean and is shaped to hit that sweet spot on most dudes.<br />
<br />
<b>Suggested Use:</b> Moments before he climbs on, give him a quick refresher handy and while he's moaning slip this thing inconspicuously near to his back door. If he doesn't panic and start weeping, lube it up and push it gently in all the way before you do the deed. Let me assure you, there's nothing like having your prostate stimulated . . . and doing it while you're balls-deep in pussy really diminishes the whole homoerotic aspect of it. (Or maybe not . . . no telling what he thinks about when he's whacking).<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/sex-toys-for-men/sp-screaming-o-vibrating-ring-6635.aspx" target="_blank">5. Screaming O Vibrating Ring</a><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiubzVmS6dV5om4bqrphou_jphs5o-6mKVimGJFU-HiKsadFUtFuy4QWOr64qw9EHVMdBbB7XXFDfj2F7EHMgUk20DrEOrbI9TV7c5a0Gd-PDArS3RvLqYQ1c3R1M4wH2ejEskntlpRUjr/s1600/tumblr_lvyvm5CYq11qa70eyo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiubzVmS6dV5om4bqrphou_jphs5o-6mKVimGJFU-HiKsadFUtFuy4QWOr64qw9EHVMdBbB7XXFDfj2F7EHMgUk20DrEOrbI9TV7c5a0Gd-PDArS3RvLqYQ1c3R1M4wH2ejEskntlpRUjr/s320/tumblr_lvyvm5CYq11qa70eyo1_500.jpg" width="236" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">For additional stimulation, try playing with<br />
his ice hole.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
This little disposable vibe fits into a cockring that places it right around your clitoris, so that while you and your dude are bumping uglies, this little demon is dancing on your clit as its being pounded by his pubic bone. The vibe isn't particularly strong, but once its in proximity to the man in the boat it can work wonders. At this price you can afford a couple to experiment with. You'll get 2-3 uses out of it before the batteries die, and you can replace them, if you like, with regular watch batteries. Some women find the stimulation level too low to orgasm from the vibe alone, however. But as a complement to some serious missionary or cowgirl scrumping, this thing can ring your bell a couple of extra times, as well as keep him erect, hard, and thrusting manfully.<br />
<br />
<b>Suggested Use: </b>visit him at lunch time for a surprise conference. Wear something severe and businesslike, then when you shut his office door, get on your knees, suck him erect, and slide this thing down to the base. Then mount him without removing your clothes (skirt, no panties, natch) and let the quiet little buzzer help increase the passion of the moment. He can keep it in his desk as a souvenir of the occasion . . . or in case of a repeat visit.<br />
<br />
<b>SPECIAL BONUS GIFT SUGGESTION: <i>FOR THE LADIES!</i></b><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl1h5gWWlv8huzL7_9PuG7KqGi2deTjFFwDPgxj31Yz-8uP7QcKhpS1A1N7QGjsK_8fKmUX-t46s3xT-BKMH2aiMAHaU6B-N4R3lU9mQYV9Q1yuSRnm-fTYz2bEX9kM89aIJ1CHdtkRE0W/s1600/corn.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl1h5gWWlv8huzL7_9PuG7KqGi2deTjFFwDPgxj31Yz-8uP7QcKhpS1A1N7QGjsK_8fKmUX-t46s3xT-BKMH2aiMAHaU6B-N4R3lU9mQYV9Q1yuSRnm-fTYz2bEX9kM89aIJ1CHdtkRE0W/s320/corn.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>"Tha's right, fellas . . . Martha can take the </i>whole thing<i>!"</i></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/sex-toys-for-men/sp-whirlpool-rotating-rabbit-vibe-4597.aspx" target="_blank">Every woman in the world needs to try out a Rabbit vibrator at least once.</a> The combination of clitoral stimulation and friction along the G-Spot create legendary orgasms . . . and if your girl doesn't have one, nothing says "I love you, I'm secure in my masculinity, and I want to watch while you get your solo freak on" better than a Rabbit. The Whirlpool Rotating Rabbit Vibe is a mid-grade model, not as cheap as the cheap ones and not as elaborate as the really complicated ones -- but it does the damn job just fine. With vibrations and rotations and flickers and shivers, this battery-powered honeymoon-in-your-hand will take your clit on new adventures you can only dream of. Fellas, if you are drawing a blank about a kinky Christmas gift, you can't go wrong with this one.<br />
<br />
Oh, and <b><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/sex-toys-for-men/sp-id-pleasure-lube-4590.aspx" target="_blank">LUBE. </a></b> Get some. Get a <i>lot.</i> There will never be a time in your life when you won't need lube.<br />
<br />
<br />
And, just 'cause it's the season . . . consider adding the raunchy yet seasonal porn DVD <b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/gonzo-movies/sp-a-christmas-orgy-6788.aspx" target="_blank">A Christmas Orgy</a></i></b> to your list. Perfect for the naughty boy, this one-scene multiple-elf throwdown includes Ron Jeremy as Jolly Ol' Saint Nick (St. Dick?) who gets his elvish workforce righteously laid after Mrs. Clause runs off. It's good clean porny Christmas fun!<br />
<br />Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-27699480555371889852012-08-31T10:07:00.000-07:002012-08-31T10:47:29.826-07:00Labor Day Weekend Porn Recommendations!<br />
<br />
<h2>
Some Recent Good "Couples Porn" Flicks For Your Consideration</h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p>It's been a while since I've done anything over here, since I've been working diligently on my relationship site, the <b><span style="color: red;"><a href="http://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/">Red Pill Room</a></span></b>, so I thought I'd take the Labor Day opportunity to make a few over-due recommendations.</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I get a <i>lot</i> of requests for recommendations for good
porn. The problem is, what constitutes
“good porn” varies incredibly. Usually I
have to ask some follow-up questions: do you watch alone, or with someone
else? Is it masturbatory or purely
foreplay? What are a few of your
favorite types of scenes? Do you value
production values and pretty people over authenticity and “real” people? The answer to each and every one of these
questions further influences my particular recommendations. So you can imagine how hard it might be to
recommend half-a-dozen good recent flicks, even within the categories “couples
friendly” (usually meaning not a lot of anal and a little more cunnilingus) and
“entertaining”.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8bkJwraBaFHVmQi5YfA9mbCPPkjK45fq-wI4CSDmudzzL1OZrgAdjoPSEKDhpTN9IuXqMkn4MBGm9jIO3q1dH_KZSqM7NFA20SCPThLYK7TrevHZSuw83Sw7QOpuUaWLIQd4iSvD_taEn/s1600/tumblr_m5k26iakBA1rs8fyyo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8bkJwraBaFHVmQi5YfA9mbCPPkjK45fq-wI4CSDmudzzL1OZrgAdjoPSEKDhpTN9IuXqMkn4MBGm9jIO3q1dH_KZSqM7NFA20SCPThLYK7TrevHZSuw83Sw7QOpuUaWLIQd4iSvD_taEn/s320/tumblr_m5k26iakBA1rs8fyyo1_500.jpg" width="235" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Still, I’m a professional, and I do have my personal faves
from the regular avalanche of porn I wade through every month. The last several months have produced a
decent number of quality pictures, although I doubt anyone will like them all
and most of you will only prefer a few of them.
Porn is <i>highly</i> subjective.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But in no particular order, here are my recent faves, along
with good reasons why. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(DISCLAIMER:<b><span style="color: red;"> the links in this post go straight to a NSFW
porn site. </span></b>Don’t click if you’re going to
get in trouble or are offended by . . . well, <b>naked people having sex</b>. I can’t even guarantee it will be <i>good
</i>sex. There are two sites I link to, mostly, <a href="http://adultmoviemart.com/">AdultMovieMart.com</a> and <a href="http://videogold.com/">VideoGold.com</a>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Adult Movie Mart</b> is a straight-up sales site, where you can simply purchase DVDs by mail or rent-on-demand on your computer. Adult Movie Mart is the online presence of the venerable <b>Video Mail</b> catalog, which has been selling good wholesome porn to the people of America (except certain jurisdictions in the South) since 1983. Yes, you read that right. <b>It's a 30 year old porn company that is not only still in business, but has packs of rabid customers. </b> It helps that virtually every purchase comes with a free gift, a discount, or both.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLNtmlOSLxbAxzK4qtamy-xzi1vZS6pOyd9B70cvNHKddH6B0CoKcdxNwNVJHNyIVT4Dydt6vueLlQrK9kXfXRXnii4BRQE3bwKNIMvQeno0tz2iBPQPBsOHZfvR83nMQDPDt3koPWxUgY/s1600/tumblr_m55ljaKxqP1qz6f9yo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLNtmlOSLxbAxzK4qtamy-xzi1vZS6pOyd9B70cvNHKddH6B0CoKcdxNwNVJHNyIVT4Dydt6vueLlQrK9kXfXRXnii4BRQE3bwKNIMvQeno0tz2iBPQPBsOHZfvR83nMQDPDt3koPWxUgY/s320/tumblr_m55ljaKxqP1qz6f9yo1_500.jpg" width="207" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Video Gold</b> is an Adult Movie Club, just like those book and record clubs. It's actually a pretty decent deal: you become a member and get three movies for less than $12 (+S&H) -- and their premium selection is <i>choice</i>. Once you're a member, you have an obligation to purchase at least two more flicks in the next 12 months. Every month they'll send you the <b>Video Gold Main Attraction</b>, which you can open and accept or return unopened and decline. If you keep it (and it's almost always keepable and collectible) then you get charged and you fulfill one obligation. If you decline it online or return it, there's no charge. You also get a monthly catalog full of other selections and plenty of special deals and discounts and free gifts -- VG is pretty lavish, and they try to get the absolute best in every specialty niche market. But their prices are lower than video-store prices, their selection is arguably better, and sometimes it's just nice to go out to the mailbox and discover a new porn video arrived. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3keI22H4ykrifGEFa4sZNEB6KLWdP-ANWkJJXHyCu1HngaFfy5vBMWpoyYcDvh8KJCwwYHhUGwCMkkUXFflC5tHvC8F8DMprjPrw0RZS6sGWVsWg14tT0LIYoYLHeo1DyNnYjPlT1LdH8/s1600/4619389434_612b249aed_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3keI22H4ykrifGEFa4sZNEB6KLWdP-ANWkJJXHyCu1HngaFfy5vBMWpoyYcDvh8KJCwwYHhUGwCMkkUXFflC5tHvC8F8DMprjPrw0RZS6sGWVsWg14tT0LIYoYLHeo1DyNnYjPlT1LdH8/s1600/4619389434_612b249aed_m.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I CAN guarantee is that there
will be no pop-ups, viruses, or other hazards at this site(s). These are people I work for, and although I
don’t make a commission off of sales I do feel it’s appropriate to mention that
they have my personal trust. I’d not
only let them have sex with my computer, I’d even call them the next day. But yes, I do work for them. <span style="color: red;">They sell <b><i>porn</i></b></span>. You’ve been warned.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ALSO: This weekend ONLY, one of the sites, adultmoviemart.com, is having a $1.95 blowout sale on 48 hour on-demand rentals. That means you can watch virtually any of 1000 porn titles for less than two bucks, and have access to them for two days (in case you get. . . "distracted". Considering most VOD sites charge in 15 minute or 5 minute increments, for those of you who like a little more entertainment in their Adult Entertainment, this is an excellent opportunity to experiment a little with some stuff you might not have ordinarily picked up at the dirty book store. $59.95 for a DVD!?! You have </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">got</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> to be kidding me! End of disclaimer.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h2>
Romance Picks (If You Aren’t Sure Where To Start…)</h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmZ5azkoFjoxDelBcMvKE87hkE3QqCPtCI5_dVKy62y3kC8vx5CJx6WHf4tL_M-zkF1S2SAVckh4jccIoNXlmGRTHi5bkIsYHdFY94iZ-KKyaSz64gNXYudzGHpM1yvrkyimI001GtChNk/s1600/tumblr_lko4uavcCO1qdwo7go1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmZ5azkoFjoxDelBcMvKE87hkE3QqCPtCI5_dVKy62y3kC8vx5CJx6WHf4tL_M-zkF1S2SAVckh4jccIoNXlmGRTHi5bkIsYHdFY94iZ-KKyaSz64gNXYudzGHpM1yvrkyimI001GtChNk/s320/tumblr_lko4uavcCO1qdwo7go1_1280.jpg" width="249" /></a>You might want to consider <b><i>Intimate Encounters</i></b>. Well-shot and well-produced, this <st1:stockticker>DVD</st1:stockticker> packs five super hot, newbie-friendly scenes featuring some terribly pretty people. Shot as individual vignettes (a popular style for these types of romance-oriented films) these five scenes range from the soft and gentle to the delightfully dirty. Best yet, it’s offered with a $4.95 2-day rental option, direct to your computer, which lets you stop between vignettes for oral sex or ice cream or a bathroom break, as you see fit, and return to it later.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Other well-produced Romantic porn flicks:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://store.videogold.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/hierarchy/000A/product-id/38998655.html">Almost Heaven</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://store.videogold.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/hierarchy/000A/product-id/37034507.html">Fallen</a> (Wicked -- about a really hot fallen angel)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://store.videogold.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/hierarchy/000A/product-id/38790549.html">The Dinner Party</a> (An early 90s film that's one of A&E's best-all-time-sellers)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://store.videogold.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/hierarchy/000A/product-id/39614693.html">A Touch Of Seduction</a> (a rare well-produced series of romantic vignettes featuring African American performers)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h2>
If You Liked<a href="http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/shades-of-grey-toys-c-1495.aspx"> <i>50 Shades</i></a><i>…</i></h2>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For those who got hot-and-bothered by the
bondage-and-submission of <a href="http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/shades-of-grey-toys-c-1495.aspx">Fifty Shades of Grey</a>, yet weren’t turned off by the
vapid prose, consider the just-released <a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-the-truth-about-o-dvd-6599.aspx"><b><i>The Truth About O</i></b></a>.
This modern continuation of the classic BDSM tale features
performer/director Bobbi Starr as O, a woman devoted to BDSM and erotic
submission. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Starr is out to find a sister slave to help her please her
master, James Deen. The dialogue isn’t delivered that well – remember, this is
porn, if these folks had serious acting chops they’d be . . . well, acting --
but the gorgeous people and moderately intense action will make up for that for
most of you. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi90ty9DVeSfhVC3bxv4RXSLHuPFr0eWDoDAyPVKsn0DYR5HOZP3OaYej26_nzuYMz1-b0Ez2HW1hiPTdxiTdDuJB_a5qnR54yZKi5iCcu5ZcKaHU6H5aeJG8vbEgdtA6Pj28slk61QNUAY/s1600/bondage.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi90ty9DVeSfhVC3bxv4RXSLHuPFr0eWDoDAyPVKsn0DYR5HOZP3OaYej26_nzuYMz1-b0Ez2HW1hiPTdxiTdDuJB_a5qnR54yZKi5iCcu5ZcKaHU6H5aeJG8vbEgdtA6Pj28slk61QNUAY/s320/bondage.JPG" width="288" /></a>Beautiful Asian performer Asa Akira becomes the object of
Starr’s desire, and Deen is pleased to see submissive Starr fondling the pussy
of a rope-bound Akira as he meets her for the first time – and note that there
will always be a fair amount of girl-girl in most bondage flicks, as boy-girl
bondage is still considered obscene, lascivious, and a violation of local
standards in some jurisdictions. But it’s completely consensual: Akira loves
the fingering and oral she gets from pretty Bobbi Starr, and at one point would
pretty much promise anything to get Deen’s cock in her pussy, she’s so turned
on. And that’s when things get a little crazy. Akira gets a suction tube used on her tits
and clit until she’s begging for an orgasm, and Starr gets hung upside down by
her ankles to give Deen head. There is
some un-bound anal that’s well-done here.
Asa Akira clearly her time with Deen’s cock. Then Bobbi Starr presents herself as a temporary gift to
well-hung master Danny Wylde … and she’s the kind of gift that arrives with a
glass plug in her ass (hint for Christmas, Mrs. I!). Starr is surprisingly tied
up during her anal with Danny, and it’s a good one. And there’s a fair amount of spanking, too:
Starr flogs Krissy Lynn to warm her up for a powerfully intense interracial
screw with Nat Turnher. Another good girl-girl scene shows hottie Justine Joli
getting bound with rope and suspended by Claire Adams before <st1:place>Adams</st1:place>
decides to eat Joli out. Then a bound Joli eats out <st1:place>Adams</st1:place>
and Joli has a strap-on put on her so that <st1:place>Adams</st1:place> can
ride her. But that’s not all—the girls break out a homemade “screwing machine”
for more toy play.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Over-all this is about as hot and intense a bondage film as
mainstream porn has produced – you have to go to overseas outlets or the bowels
of the internet to find comparable fare, and bondage films usually lack the
production values in this one. Starr
handles the camera as well as she performs in front of it, and the female
direction may give a better woman’s perspective on the scenes (although they
seemed pretty damn hot to me). And to
give you a more objective assessment, Adult Video News (the Variety of the
pornosphere) gave it 4 out of 5 As. If
50 Shades gave you a bad case of dewy-panties, this might be your next step on
your path towards sexual servitude . . . or just a really hot date-night flick.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Folks who don’t like BDSM, whips, chains, spanking, anal,
girl-girl, or often-authentic orgasms should stay away from it. And note that the “rent it now” option gives
you 48 hours internet access to it at adultmoviemart.com, if you want to watch
it without buying it outright. That’s
two days to start-and-stop while you practice trying things out. But the <st1:stockticker>DVD</st1:stockticker>
price is comparable or lower than your local adult video store (and doesn’t
even have a sticky floor) and you will almost always get either a discount, a
free gift, or both with your order. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p>Also see: T<a href="http://store.videogold.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/product-id/37034499.html">he Surrender of O (Bree Olson)</a></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> <a href="http://store.videogold.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/product-id/38790815.html">Bound</a></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> <a href="http://store.videogold.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/hierarchy/000A/product-id/38791201.html"> Fit To Be Tied: Alexis Ford</a></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-ninas-guide-to-erotic-bondage-dvd-4044.aspx">Nina Hartley's Guide To Erotic Bondage</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/milf-porn-videos/sp-nina-hartleys-guide-to-bondage-sex-4925.aspx">Nina Hartley's Guide To Bondage Sex</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<h2>
If You Liked <i>Spartacus: Blood & Sand</i> and <i><b>300</b></i>…</h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWksged-KKpC7-89qtDagdjHoLS140FqLWjETsd2ZGHMtRHiRHootd-A4PbOWUTIR6F_gtXsERCxSXlAaalEOgB65cnwgL6LqHL0LnyFJZ3elWBgwP4yDNuneRdUXJoE4zRey_7uaxwwGt/s1600/78178.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWksged-KKpC7-89qtDagdjHoLS140FqLWjETsd2ZGHMtRHiRHootd-A4PbOWUTIR6F_gtXsERCxSXlAaalEOgB65cnwgL6LqHL0LnyFJZ3elWBgwP4yDNuneRdUXJoE4zRey_7uaxwwGt/s320/78178.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
If you liked <i>300</i> or <i>Spartacus</i>, you might enjoy <i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-the-four-6350.aspx">The Four</a></i>, a
kind of XXX sequel to <i>30</i>0. It received a
rare AAAAAs from the critics at <st1:stockticker>AVN</st1:stockticker>. Although the shooting, post-production, and
distribution of the picture was hung up for years, the result is both erotic
and visually pleasing, with a feel like of mainstream epic from the '50s or
'60s. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Four in the title
(Brea Bennett, Renee Perez, Nikki Kane, Cassidey) are women of <st1:city>Sparta</st1:city>
avenging the death of their king after the battle of <st1:place>Thermopylae</st1:place>
(that the battle featured in the mainstream film 300 – the flick that launched
a million gym memberships). Queen Gorgo (Brea Bennett), mourning her husband
King Leonidas (Charles Dera), has a couple of super hot flashbacks to better, happier
(and sexier) times with him that are both hot and well-shot. But then after <st1:place>Thermopylae</st1:place>
the queen and her ladies bargain with a shaman for the powers of a warrior for
all four—a service for which the shaman takes a comely blonde servant as
payment. (No, he doesn’t give back two
brunettes in change, although I’m sure it would be amusing). </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The sex scenes waver between stylized and realistic, with a soft
camera focus giving way to tight close-ups and very contemporary-sounding
groans and squeals. Sometimes the scenes are back-to-back, like when three
harem girls take each other on as a prologue to Alexis Love's set-to with
Xerxes—a studly Marco Banderas (with a sash tied around his hips hiding his
contemporary tattoo). Along with the sex scenes are sequences of dramatic
exposition, including Brea Bennett vowing her revenge and imagining how sweet
victory will taste, and Xerxes “defiling” his high priestess (and that’s quite
a defiler in his loincloth) to punish her for failing to stop the Four.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the Four get ready to attack Xerxes, the Queen leaves <st1:city>Plataea</st1:city>
(Nikki Kane) behind to watch Xerxes' death from afar so she can report back to <st1:city>Sparta</st1:city>
and pass along the story to her yet-unborn children. Approaching Xerxes' palace
through a wilderness, Queen Gorgo meets the recently-defiled high priestess,
who tells the Queen of a secret passage to Xerxes' chambers. As the Three
remaining amazons avenge <st1:city>Sparta</st1:city> by
killing Xerxes, <st1:city>Plataea</st1:city> sees
herself with King Leonidas, leading to a triumphant ending, their son representing
a reborn <st1:city>Sparta</st1:city> free of Persian
influence.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPpvPEZmzZv_WVr8j69Abljal-5Nk62CogVMScGeNmRs6XA07ZDdqWXIcabSIXPuMW3QVqPwlIs3UDocnu-oVjpWhsdd3CJ1Pa1-Tz55WN_fEoi9tLtS1d9_DMrMYMOSkaUPL5XEbguCdv/s1600/7835293022_82f31106d1_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPpvPEZmzZv_WVr8j69Abljal-5Nk62CogVMScGeNmRs6XA07ZDdqWXIcabSIXPuMW3QVqPwlIs3UDocnu-oVjpWhsdd3CJ1Pa1-Tz55WN_fEoi9tLtS1d9_DMrMYMOSkaUPL5XEbguCdv/s1600/7835293022_82f31106d1_m.jpg" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The moody, stylish photography and close-up scale gives The
Four the feel of an "intimate epic" – much like Starz’s <b><i>Spartacus</i></b>
series. The production values are lavish, the original music and eye-catching scenery
conspire with a stentorian scene-setting narration to build layers of depth not
often seen in a porn flick. If “going
Greek” is your style, then this epic fantasy will likely please you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
See Also: Private's <i><a href="http://store.videogold.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/product-id/37034367.html">Gladiator </a></i>(old, Euro, but entertaining)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-this-aint-conan-the-barbarian-6325.aspx">This Ain't Conan XXX</a></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h2>
If You Liked <i><b>The Princess Bride</b></i>…</h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLwnfqaehd71CIug8E0rEcP6fzUHPL1XOulVif0JFFCCxKOYaR1cnCRq54nO7iXLzgD2D5cwiWhzMI0gxTcyylNS-w81sNTWYXMahPsAd9J3LdWWeJ7eTLKMKA3LueuWkiD0ymdepz31Fh/s1600/tumblr_m4bha1aggp1qfbon7o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLwnfqaehd71CIug8E0rEcP6fzUHPL1XOulVif0JFFCCxKOYaR1cnCRq54nO7iXLzgD2D5cwiWhzMI0gxTcyylNS-w81sNTWYXMahPsAd9J3LdWWeJ7eTLKMKA3LueuWkiD0ymdepz31Fh/s320/tumblr_m4bha1aggp1qfbon7o1_500.jpg" width="246" /></a></div>
<br />
While some people don’t see fairy tales as erotic, the Grimm
brothers certainly knew them for what they were: cautionary folk tales designed
to help keep a lid on sexual tensions in later adolescence. The medieval flavor of fairy tales gives them
a certain dreamy quality in our minds, and this is the vibe Wicked Pictures
taps into when it produced <b><i><a href="http://store.videogold.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/hierarchy/000A/product-id/38790613.html">The Craving</a></i></b> and<b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-craving-ii-6600.aspx"> The Craving II.</a></i></b> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Both flicks are adult fairy tales, which is actually not a
new concept in porn. But while previous
treatments tried to make the stories farcical, Wicked’s adept director Brad
Armstrong keeps it serious, erotic, and explosively sexy. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wicked and Armstrong have a long-running relationship which
has allowed the award-winning Armstrong a lot more freedom than many porn
directors. And Wicked’s signature contract
girl, Jessica Drake, delivers incredible performances in both films. There’s a little anal, a lot of oral, and
gorgeous, gorgeous costuming. Acting is
minimal – these vignettes aren’t particularly wordy – but the sex is
scalding. Either one of them would be
good date-night fare.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h2>
If You Liked <i>Pretty Woman</i>…</h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDrgTZMmXjveDXX8-BgPcuMGMeHTr3m4ADo4SIhV6Hzk_pE49cYt4G0nQLLjXxk6iUKLG6-nnMc7sahydFtH1xUaLiSW8_0F4CrPUWyqVLlyfmwl7HKkMRvt3sBP3SfmRU06jZUvrYPv2P/s1600/7688328232_f4db13378c_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDrgTZMmXjveDXX8-BgPcuMGMeHTr3m4ADo4SIhV6Hzk_pE49cYt4G0nQLLjXxk6iUKLG6-nnMc7sahydFtH1xUaLiSW8_0F4CrPUWyqVLlyfmwl7HKkMRvt3sBP3SfmRU06jZUvrYPv2P/s1600/7688328232_f4db13378c_m.jpg" /></a>Let’s face it, if you’re feeling sexy, often you want your
porn to reflect something, well, sexual.
And there’s not much more sexual than prostitution. <b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-portrait-of-a-call-girl-6354.aspx">Portrait of a Call Girl</a></i></b> is a quite-entertaining,
erotic, well-produced and (in places) intense feature story of one young
woman’s rise to become a high-end call girl.
Of course she has to go through some deliciously nasty places before she
gets there, but adorable newcomer Jessie Andrews does a magnificent job.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She stars as Elle, a call girl haunted by her troubled past
(aren’t there any hookers from quiet, well-adjusted suburban families?) . After
getting kicked out of her house when she busts her stepdad cheating, she uses
her boyfriend Sam to break into her parents house launching her life of
crime. Before long she’s working the
streets of the big city, turning tricks on streetcorners. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But is she doomed to a life of tragedy? Or can sex act as a redemptive act, as well
as a business proposition to a hooker?
Elle moves from one steamy liaison with her tricks to another, finding
pleasure, pain, excitement, and intrigue in the process. Slowly but surely she rebuilds her shattered
life into something she can be at peace with.
It takes a certain kind of woman to thrive as a call girl – and Elle
proves she’s the hooker with the heart of gold in the end. Extremely well-produced and expertly
directed, Portrait Of A Call Girl skips the moral judgment or “cautionary tale”
route and looks instead at the intense sexuality of the world’s oldest
profession.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h2>
If You Are A <i>Hardcore Nerd</i>…</h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Believe it or not, there’s actually some original sci-fi
made out in Chatsworth (that’s the “Hollywood of Porn”, for you novices. Being a nerd, I’m kinda sensitive to that
sort of thing, so when it happens, I like to see it. Here are a few of the
(sometimes comically funny) attempts at doing original sci-fi in porn.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_nv1eK0iPuWzYbveUngT67SW-IUTR-Zine0r22CUMN1SKWqOVi6jf-2nqHv8ZOlWpOlWHI0b5Yq3A8i2ZYWy4zZVtcgR1jmMD7BjAkqzj_ppeiFguWGXhN28HCp639ONMD8Ova3Z5llKe/s1600/StarlogMarch1977ArenaIllustrationBorisVallejo565.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_nv1eK0iPuWzYbveUngT67SW-IUTR-Zine0r22CUMN1SKWqOVi6jf-2nqHv8ZOlWpOlWHI0b5Yq3A8i2ZYWy4zZVtcgR1jmMD7BjAkqzj_ppeiFguWGXhN28HCp639ONMD8Ova3Z5llKe/s320/StarlogMarch1977ArenaIllustrationBorisVallejo565.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-dvd-5467.aspx"><b><i>2040 </i></b></a>– Wicked Pictures</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is probably the best original sf/porn flick to date: it’s
a near-future movie about the end of porn.
That is, it’s about how fully-animated and fully functional physically
perfect sexbots (“anibots”) might impact the porn industry. It’s fascinating, thought-provoking,
well-produced (Wicked, duh) and deliciously nasty. It features Alektra Blue who is freakin’
fantastic – seriously, some of her best work – and Randy Spears as his own
grandson, Ryan Spears. It won 3 <st1:stockticker>AVN</st1:stockticker>
awards and got an impressive AAAAA.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><a href="http://store.videogold.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/hierarchy/000A/product-id/40113199.html">The 8<sup>th</sup> Day</a></i></b> – Adam & Eve Productions</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Post-apocalyptic epic starring Kayden Kross from Adam &
Eve. Won <st1:stockticker>AVN</st1:stockticker>
award for best picture. I am legally
obligated not to comment on this picture.
It’s complicated.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<h2>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8gGAmH9h85gfRux6_mWueMRg77j0vcIUV_3JfL7VO2DmfonqJBqgjMmwRzmCONepkBSeNGewUszMLw-zUDHpn6WNee51Jz3apKWgf047L9XJgshzPVQYN7-AmG2xaO2Bwp1stEHaLTF-8/s1600/Yo+Ho+Ho+&+A+Bottle+Of+Rum.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8gGAmH9h85gfRux6_mWueMRg77j0vcIUV_3JfL7VO2DmfonqJBqgjMmwRzmCONepkBSeNGewUszMLw-zUDHpn6WNee51Jz3apKWgf047L9XJgshzPVQYN7-AmG2xaO2Bwp1stEHaLTF-8/s320/Yo+Ho+Ho+&+A+Bottle+Of+Rum.jpg" width="250" /></a>
If you liked <i>Pirates of the Carribean…</i></h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
…then you might like one of the most expensive porn flicks
ever made, the hugely, insanely popular <b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/sp-pirates-3989.aspx">Pirates</a></i></b>. It won virtually every award it possibly
could, and the soft-core version is hugely popular on the cable channels. Plus, it's on sale -- <b>$20.00 off the retail price!</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<h2>
If you liked . . . virtually <i>anything</i> you saw on television in the
last 30 years…</h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then you might like PARODIES! That’s right, if you’re a fan of a mainstream
show, then odds are it’s been parodied in the last few years. Porn Parodies are seen by the industry as
kind of “gate-way porn”, a way to introduce the pornless to big dicks and big
boobs in a friendly, entertaining manner.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Each of these was a unique piece, and the quality really
depends upon just how attached the director was to the original show. But if you were a Buffy fan, for instance,
you won’t want to miss the Parody and be the only one in the Whedonverse to
miss it. Without further fanfare, and in
no particular order, here are a smattering of some of the porn parodies that
have popped up in the last few years:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h3>
Television</h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMUls2j-h77zbsJjm8LckX04YbgNnda7mJGkQBCwx_zPdfjAldcgm9XxnmQJ8GK2oR9Ttt-p3ryMHawwnuQSWo_80Pce6DrF4qjuQKJhZfg3Y0M-Z2ANjgKLnCcatv90vCwSftripRzikw/s1600/6664805595_afdf266306_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMUls2j-h77zbsJjm8LckX04YbgNnda7mJGkQBCwx_zPdfjAldcgm9XxnmQJ8GK2oR9Ttt-p3ryMHawwnuQSWo_80Pce6DrF4qjuQKJhZfg3Y0M-Z2ANjgKLnCcatv90vCwSftripRzikw/s1600/6664805595_afdf266306_m.jpg" /></a><o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/porn-parodies/sp-buffy-the-vampire-slayer-xxx-a-parody-6492.aspx">Buffy The Vampire Slayer</a></i></b> (A&E - good...but where the hell is my <b><i>Firefly</i></b> parody?!?)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-the-beverly-hillbillies-a-xxx-parody-6362.aspx">The Beverly Hillbillies</a></i></b> (A&E)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/porn-parodies/sp-dallas-xxx-a-parody-dvd-6545.aspx">Dallas</a></i></b> (A&E)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-home-improvement-xxx-a-parody-dvd-5918.aspx">The A-Team</a></i></b> (A&E)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-rocky-xxx-a-parody-dvd-6315.aspx">Sex And The City</a></i></b> (New Sensations - I wonder what they'll talk about . . . ?)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-this-aint-star-trek-xxx-dvd-5299.aspx">Star Trek: The Original Series</a> </i></b>(Hustler - Exceeds expectations -- and it has Aurora Snow!)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-this-aint-star-trek-xxx-dvd-5787.aspx">Star Trek: The Original Series 2 </a></i></b>(sequel to above)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/porn-parodies/sp-star-trek-the-next-generation-6152.aspx">Star Trek: The Next Generation </a></i></b>(Digital Sin)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-the-a-team-xxx-a-parody-dvd-5942.aspx">Home Improvement</a></i></b> (A&E)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-golden-girlsa-xxx-milf-parody-5846.aspx">The Golden Girls</a></i></b> (New Sensations - GILFs. My eyes, they burn...)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-golden-girlsa-xxx-milf-parody-5846.aspx">Charmed </a></i></b>(Hustler)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-big-bang-theory-a-xxx-parody-dvd-5785.aspx">The Big Bang Theory </a></i></b>(New Sensations)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-tru-a-xxx-parody-dvd-5802.aspx">True Blood </a></i></b>(New Sensations) </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-not-married-with-children-dvd-5744.aspx">Married, With Children </a></i></b>(Hustler - I mean, how could they not?)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-not-reallythe-dukes-of-hazzard-dvd-5687.aspx">The Dukes Of Hazzard</a></i></b> (Vouyer Media - YEEEE-haaa!)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-not-reallythe-dukes-of-hazzard-dvd-5687.aspx">I Love Lucy</a></i></b> (Hustler -- and it's <i>good</i>. No, really.)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-s-show-a-xxx-parody-dvd-5468.aspx">That 70s Show</a></i></b> (New Sensations)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-the-jeffersons-a-xxx-parody-dvd-5439.aspx">The Jeffersons </a></i></b>(Metro)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTSVwg4G9o1dUIPDfwNtiBdibEa97PcLBVYtqYJ8FNiIrT2SnW05ks3gg5tTplmmTiOOYs2KOHoqdt_SvRBup4G-XU8BA0WVWEdMYOf0CCI63OjFgzLgz05xd2BU7de9KZkUBfaNHG65u2/s1600/lf.jpg.scaled1000+%25286%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTSVwg4G9o1dUIPDfwNtiBdibEa97PcLBVYtqYJ8FNiIrT2SnW05ks3gg5tTplmmTiOOYs2KOHoqdt_SvRBup4G-XU8BA0WVWEdMYOf0CCI63OjFgzLgz05xd2BU7de9KZkUBfaNHG65u2/s320/lf.jpg.scaled1000+%25286%2529.jpg" width="191" /></a><o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-seinfeld-a-xxx-parody-dvd-5322.aspx">Seinfeld </a></i></b>(New Sensations - a porn about nothing)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-the-office-a-xxx-parody-dvd-5219.aspx">The Office</a></i></b> (New Sensations)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-im-dreaming-of-genie-dvd-5298.aspx">I Dream Of Genie </a></i></b>(Venom)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-this-aint-gilligans-island-xxx-dvd-5218.aspx">Gilligan's Island</a></i></b> (Hustler)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-not-threes-company-xxx-dvd-5176.aspx">Three's Company </a></i></b>(Hustler)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-this-aint-the-partridge-family-xxx-dvd-5175.aspx">The Partridge Family </a></i></b>(Hustler) </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-not-bewitched-xxx-dvd-5107.aspx">Bewitched</a></i></b> (X-Play)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-this-aint-the-munsters-xxx-dvd-1954.aspx">The Munsters</a></i></b> (Hustler)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-mork-mindy-a-xxx-parody-6371.aspx">Mork & Mindy </a></i></b>(DreamZone)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://store.videogold.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/hierarchy/000M/product-id/37034667.html">Good Times</a></i></b> (Evasive Angles)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<h3>
<o:p><br /></o:p><o:p>Movies</o:p></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/porn-parodies/sp-tomb-raider-xxx-6547.aspx"><b><i>Tomb Raider</i></b></a> (Exquisite)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/porn-parodies/sp-zorro-xxx-a-pleasure-dynasty-6548.aspx">Zorro</a></i></b> (Pleasure Dynasty)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/porn-parodies/sp-star-wars-xxx-6507.aspx">Star Wars</a></i></b> (Vivid - The ultimate porn parody -- got 5 As from AVN)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-this-aint-ghost-busters-xxx-6201.aspx">Ghostbusters</a></i></b> (Hustler)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-this-aint-avatar-xxx-parody-6027.aspx">Avatar (</a></i></b>Hustler - The best blue-on-blue sex I've seen since <b><i>The Smurfs</i></b>)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-this-aint-avatar-xxx-parody-6027.aspx">Shaft</a></i></b> (3rd Degree - You're damn right!)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-anchorman-a-xxx-parody-6281.aspx">Anchorman</a></i></b> (New Sensations - Funny as hell)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8rKe62kN7v7Xy97bFZ0J4tU_3HRhGr-5i4lrONTqutEIFbJL4A5r5EH2gyrhAOEK-ejpH4lcKaq9r_5qzCc1t64AhYZ8Pmxw3xqagnKVhjexNCRqObiGFon7ZpIGxK_fW9ZFq1xcEd_C2/s1600/6698591921_86750b14f4_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8rKe62kN7v7Xy97bFZ0J4tU_3HRhGr-5i4lrONTqutEIFbJL4A5r5EH2gyrhAOEK-ejpH4lcKaq9r_5qzCc1t64AhYZ8Pmxw3xqagnKVhjexNCRqObiGFon7ZpIGxK_fW9ZFq1xcEd_C2/s1600/6698591921_86750b14f4_m.jpg" /></a><o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-rocky-xxx-a-parody-dvd-6315.aspx">Rocky</a></i></b> (A&E)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-rocky-xxx-a-parody-dvd-6315.aspx">Saturday Night Fever</a></i></b> (Exquisite)</o:p></div>
<div>
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/porn-parodies/sp-rocki-whore-picture-show-parody-6153.aspx">Rocky Horror Picture Show</a></i></b> (Wicked - It's just a jump to the left...)</o:p></div>
<div>
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-golden-girlsa-xxx-milf-parody-5846.aspx">Friday </a></i></b>(Zero Tolerance) </o:p></div>
<div>
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/sp-bridesmaids-xxx-porn-parody-6355.aspx">Bridesmaids </a></i></b>(Smash Pictures)</o:p></div>
<div>
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://store.videogold.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/hierarchy/000M/product-id/37034483.html">Indiana Jones</a></i></b> (A&E)</o:p></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<h3>
<o:p>Cartoons</o:p></h3>
<div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-simpsons-the-xxx-parody-6091.aspx">The Simpsons</a></i></b> (Hustler - because once you go yellow...)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><i><b><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-scooby-doo-a-xxx-parody-6090.aspx">Scooby Doo</a></b></i> (New Sensations - Ruh-Roh!)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/porn-parodies/sp-this-aint-the-smurfs-xxx-6550.aspx">The Smurfs</a></i></b> (Oh, Gods, yes they <i>did</i>. And yes, Smurfette gets smurfed in the smurf...and she <i>loves</i> it!)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/porn-parodies/sp-family-guy-the-xxx-parody-6587.aspx">Family Guy</a></i></b> (Full Spread Entertainment)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><a href="http://store.videogold.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/hierarchy/000M/product-id/40225117.html">The Flinstones</a></i></b> (New Sensations)</div>
</div>
<h3>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqwWtE9bFVGSiX24OLF-oagVjGXjIfYH7XNtB_UZus7-SslKS6logAlWRxsqZsDRJm9_RsG33APkmqZsx51Z2KYmqeeLoRgr0V8FUdEntmLA-_qpLY2AclJ6VSikX9fw7y5C49Wn82thJw/s1600/tumblr_lxdnhzaCoY1qfw6wio1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqwWtE9bFVGSiX24OLF-oagVjGXjIfYH7XNtB_UZus7-SslKS6logAlWRxsqZsDRJm9_RsG33APkmqZsx51Z2KYmqeeLoRgr0V8FUdEntmLA-_qpLY2AclJ6VSikX9fw7y5C49Wn82thJw/s320/tumblr_lxdnhzaCoY1qfw6wio1_1280.jpg" width="233" /></a><o:p>Superheroes</o:p></h3>
<b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/porn-parodies/sp-avengers-xxx-6606.aspx">The Avengers</a></i></b> (Vivid)<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/sp-batgirl-xxx-6602.aspx">Batgirl</a></i></b> (Extreme Comixxx -- and Sunny Lane's last movie)</div>
<div>
<b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-iron-man-xxx-6369.aspx">Ironman</a></i></b> (Extreme Comixxx - and they used the expensive $7000 suit, not the cheap $300 suit)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-spider-man-xxx-a-porn-parody-6317.aspx">Spider Man</a></b> (Vivid)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-supergirl-xxx-6318.aspx">Supergirl</a></i></b> (Extreme Comixxx)</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-the-incredible-hulk-xxxa-porn-parody-6200.aspx">The Incredible Hulk</a></b></i> (Vivid)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/porn-parodies/sp-justice-league-pornstar-heroes-6149.aspx">Justice League</a></i></b> (Extreme Comixxx)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/porn-parodies/sp-superman-xxx-a-porn-parody-6045.aspx">Superman</a></i></b> (Vivid)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-batfxxx-dark-night-parody-5959.aspx">Dark Knight </a></i></b>(the Heath Ledger Batman)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><a href="http://www.adultmoviemart.com/xxx-porn/sp-batman-xxx-a-porn-parody-dvd-5818.aspx">Batman</a></i></b> (Vivid - Think "Adam West")</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><a href="http://store.videogold.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/hierarchy/000M/product-id/40225117.html">Catwoman </a></i></b>(Bluebird)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s my list for now – a good place to start, depending
upon your idea of adult entertainment.
If you have further questions, let me know.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, and the Adultmoviemart.com site (disclaimer: I work for
them) is having a Labor Day Weekend Sale on all of their on-demand movies. For two bucks you can see just about any of
1000 adult movies on-demand on your computer or other device for 48 hours. And you don’t even have to sneak into the
adult video store at <st1:time hour="4" minute="0">4:00am</st1:time> to keep
you neighbors from seeing you. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You can’t
beat that with a <i>stick.</i></div>
Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-2316263192823763632012-03-29T11:40:00.000-07:002012-03-29T11:40:45.345-07:00Fan Contest: Win A Copy of Tomb Raider XXX!One of my porn-savvy fans <a href="http://nerdbastards.com/2012/03/28/tomb-raider-xxx-review-and-giveaway-contest/">clued me into this deal this morning </a>and I felt compelled to share.<br />
<br />
Basically, it's a way to win a FREE copy of <b>Tomb Raider XXX: An Exquisite Films Parody<i></i></b> and some autographed promotional posters -- and when is high-quality free porn EVER a bad idea? I've checked it out, and it gets my hearty Sex Nerd stamp of whackworthiness. And it has enough of a plot to keep you from fast-forwarding through the non-nekkid parts, and the action sequences are pretty good too . . . for porn.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://nerdbastards.com/2012/03/28/tomb-raider-xxx-review-and-giveaway-contest/"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHB2ehyq62ZJrceXolZQbqtSOaAmpm9IvS3seFIwxlNkaIdSDkUcE7oC1JbcgSBP4KwOVO_yX4drPLC01cG4emBHnUyG-vtsSth-n9UrNR3tFZNDi_C9t24YU1Qo1DMG5dDv1Lo6bx7-WK/s400/1599185h.jpg" width="283" /></a></div>Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-69429623591014114622012-03-28T13:27:00.002-07:002012-03-28T13:28:18.828-07:00Male Birth Control: It's Here, And It's A Game ChangerReposted from <a href="http://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/">The Red Pill Room, my other blog.</a><br />
<br />
Oh, my.<br />
<br />
I<a href="http://techcitement.com/culture/the-best-birth-control-in-the-world-is-for-men/" target="_blank"> stumbled across this link today</a>, and after I read it the world wobbled the way it does when my relatively straight-forward idea of how the future is going to play out gets challenged. Like this.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC3MgoAZqh-tqC-AJj5GGRJjXq7U-wYG8zRloHRYqJ14sNpfH0KeL1Nu5zkWd6k_3cVxW1q-QovtH7r9kNvy0gy8lArGlqc2QEhu7oKtpS_UJyPdxzPJ5hKPnuI_wdQhnSlWcLE2Xuymg/s1600/birth+control2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC3MgoAZqh-tqC-AJj5GGRJjXq7U-wYG8zRloHRYqJ14sNpfH0KeL1Nu5zkWd6k_3cVxW1q-QovtH7r9kNvy0gy8lArGlqc2QEhu7oKtpS_UJyPdxzPJ5hKPnuI_wdQhnSlWcLE2Xuymg/s400/birth+control2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
Quite simply, it is a male birth-control procedure, essentially a temporary (10 years) vasectomy that can be easily and cheaply administered and easily and cheaply removed.<br />
<br />
And it's going to change everything.<br />
<br />
Most people don't realize just how profound the change was when a large segment of society got access to reliable birth control the first time. Simply put, this wonderful biochemical gift enabled female hypergamy and plenty of lusty evenings without worrying about the possibility of pregnancy. That allowed married couples to limit the number of kids they had and devote more resources per capita, thus improving the next generation's socio-economic circumstances. Or it allowed your wife to go sleep with that dude with the 12" pecker next door and not get knocked up. Either way, it was an official Game Changer, like industrialization, digital technology, or liberalized divorce laws.<br />
<br />
Of course, with the assumption that the woman you were doing was, indeed, on birth control and took it like a responsible adult has led to many unplanned pregnancies. Indeed, it's always been the ambitious girl's fall-back plan: find some rich dude, fuck him, get pregnant, let him support her and the kid so she doesn't have to work so hard. Sure, it sounds shallow and conniving, but I've heard plenty of women (and some die-hard feminists -- I shit you not) declare that as their plan. And with abortion legal, it really puts the male in question in an unenviable and untenable spot. Sure, a woman has a right to choose to become a parent -- and I'll support that to my dying breath -- but if a dude wanted to skip that part, he was pretty much at the mercy of the mother in question, and had to live with the result of her decision no matter what his opinion was. As a dude, your best cover is a condom, and they are not (as my brother discovered) 100% effective. Especially not if the woman in question is deceitful enough to "slip one past the goalie".<br />
<br />
But no more.<br />
<br />
With this procedure, you could get your 15 year old testosterone-poisoned son "temporarily fixed", teach him Game, and turn him loose on the unsuspecting female public with a box of condoms and you don't have to worry about grandchildren until he's 25. Hilarity ensues. <br />
<br />
What happens when every dude in High School is suddenly shooting blanks? A drop in teenage pregnancy, for certain, but a sharp rise in pump-and-dump spectaculars. And girls won't even have the pregnancy scare to fall back on. They're going to have to work and compete for male attention among the boys, who won't be nearly as terrified of sex anymore -- and dudes who know Game will know how to exploit that. <br />
<br />
As soon as this clears clinical trials, I'm looking into it for my sons. If I can get them the HPV vaccine, then this seems a no-brainer. I want grandkids, of course, but I want them in the proper time when my kids can properly support them. This way, I can ensure that won't be until they have decent jobs and have played their way through the Puerarchy.<br />
<br />
But it's not the teenage girls who are going to have it the worst. This is going to hit the 30-something-and-only-five-eggs-left women who use one-night-stands as a last-ditch effort to get pregnant. I know two such who went that route. In the future, no more.<br />
<br />
The other group this will hurt, in the long run, are feminists. If men can ensure that they are infertile until they desire to have kids, then the onus of reproduction AND relationships suddenly goes back to the male, in a startling shift of power. You'll see wives begging their husbands to get un-fixed so that they can have a baby, and men deciding to wait until they're ready. That's going to put some stress on some relationships, of course, but it's also going to remove the power of women to dictate to men when, where and how they are going to have kids, and who pays for them. And feminists (at least the current Fourth Wave crop) are going to go fucking bananas about this, when they realize that.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9KU72x7osTZaDUpE07i9juH8-Xvmd-z3Rj0oOH0PSlS5ovrRgY37B3HkrEw7SFHlRWeJc9CGxmerCbn2oZtlZXlW0VQRarTUACWOXtZzn-mLyiSbGYvp3h1wqy9Wqpq9zXZ4ha6Ycj6U/s1600/1950spinup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9KU72x7osTZaDUpE07i9juH8-Xvmd-z3Rj0oOH0PSlS5ovrRgY37B3HkrEw7SFHlRWeJc9CGxmerCbn2oZtlZXlW0VQRarTUACWOXtZzn-mLyiSbGYvp3h1wqy9Wqpq9zXZ4ha6Ycj6U/s320/1950spinup.jpg" width="255" /></a></div><br />
It should be fun to watch.Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-50801393051946409282012-03-26T12:08:00.001-07:002012-03-26T12:08:38.036-07:00BREAKING NEWS: Ontario's Supreme Court Legalizes Brothels!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf90Lf4ycobrBDujC88V0DSmuG5qBA6TEjgdpoLNEh8M6cmOhyPkdLbEfm7RDepHp3lf6N4T94-gYMBSU-Lgk1D-qfxIh8RqabIJBE4u09Odaq8Ai5MUWvo3gL1bicqzzoE3QHMpfs4dt8/s1600/bedside2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf90Lf4ycobrBDujC88V0DSmuG5qBA6TEjgdpoLNEh8M6cmOhyPkdLbEfm7RDepHp3lf6N4T94-gYMBSU-Lgk1D-qfxIh8RqabIJBE4u09Odaq8Ai5MUWvo3gL1bicqzzoE3QHMpfs4dt8/s400/bedside2.JPG" /></a></div><br />
<a href="http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/26/world/americas/canada-ontario-legalizes-brothels/index.html?eref=mrss_igoogle_cnn">CNN has the full scoop here</a>, but it looks like Ottawa might just become a much more appealing convention destination. And I foresee Windsor implementing this ruling in such a way to bring in a lot of day-trippers -- which makes Detroit suddenly more interesting again.<br />
<br />
It's never been easier to cheat, folks. I foresee more jurisdictions considering decriminalizing or out-right legalizing prostitution as a tonic for an anemic local economy. The internet has already made it quasi-legal, depending upon jurisdiction. And hook-up culture and Craig's List have blurred the distinction between hardened professional and the thrill-seeking stranger-danger enthusiast. But I see this as a positive thing. With legal -- and presumably well-regulated -- brothels, the underground sex-slave trade variety that everyone despises would go out of business in the face of legitimate competition.<br />
<br />
If nothing else, at least these sex-workers will have safer work environments now. That's a good thing any way you look at it.Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-15157388030671363402012-03-21T11:55:00.000-07:002012-03-21T11:55:57.326-07:00"Dear Abby . . . " Gets Larry Flynt's Opinion On Porn. No, Really.Gotta love this. <a href="http://business.avn.com/articles/video/Dear-Abby-Taps-Larry-Flynt-for-Answer-to-Porn-Question-469337.html">Dear Abby consults Larry Flynt (!) on an issue of pornology. (NSFW -- duh!)</a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYRxx-ekVnuNtByqn3IL7_rfjBxhVfBslFJsKJVMjkCqpnG7VwefGgewr1XRjGBDutmC2O-CbXMj0h9n6KJ8wVF-IxBn0f93Ce0kLOctU4CThTb5Dc6zslj2vwOKsACMKUxhsLMKctskfy/s1600/pinuppictures24.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="375" width="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYRxx-ekVnuNtByqn3IL7_rfjBxhVfBslFJsKJVMjkCqpnG7VwefGgewr1XRjGBDutmC2O-CbXMj0h9n6KJ8wVF-IxBn0f93Ce0kLOctU4CThTb5Dc6zslj2vwOKsACMKUxhsLMKctskfy/s400/pinuppictures24.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
It was inevitable, as porn goes mainstream, that it would come up in polite conversation, and as arbiter of all things advicey, Dear Abby naturally couldn’t help advise someone who had a porn question. <br />
<br />
Basically, it was the typical “Why do men like porn so much?” question women ask, as if there was one right answer. The venerable Mr. Flynt rose about the temptation to make a cheap shot or a joke and gave the industry-respected and approved answer:<br />
<br />
Men like porn so much because we like to look at naked chicks (we’re more visually stimulated). Women like written erotica because they like to read about rich, successful vampires/werewolves with giant dicks and billions in the bank – but who only have eyes for the slightly-nerdy-but-irresistible-to-everyone heroine.<br />
<br />
Dear Abby deferred to Flynt’s judgment on the matter, as well she should. But it marks an important watershed moment in our society, when the most rarified elements of middle-America social instruction are discussing the merits of boobies.<br />
<br />
It makes me proud to be an American.Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-58063869669809755652012-01-27T08:54:00.000-08:002012-01-27T08:55:03.294-08:00This Just In: Porn Doesn't Cause RapeAn outstanding post over at <a href="http://www.msnaughty.com/blog/2012/01/27/porn-does-not-cause-rape/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=porn-does-not-cause-rape">Porn For Women by the esteemed Ms. Naughty</a> shows some pretty intriguing statistics for all of those who assume that more porn = more rape. In fact, the opposite is true. Ms. Naughty pulls out a couple of impressive statistics to back her up, but among the most telling is this:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6S2smdWpg82tlafdp6eL1TwXpm-Mtx9YowbQxVxOvf6tulrdHMk7F8dGdpYfd3lWksUdqAs5Vki9qGhgrMg5VXZL9qxhAmH5WN0A4piU81Iw5kNEQFu9YWUNQseCGZSCTvJxA7QaSZYDN/s1600/raperatesgraph.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="215" width="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6S2smdWpg82tlafdp6eL1TwXpm-Mtx9YowbQxVxOvf6tulrdHMk7F8dGdpYfd3lWksUdqAs5Vki9qGhgrMg5VXZL9qxhAmH5WN0A4piU81Iw5kNEQFu9YWUNQseCGZSCTvJxA7QaSZYDN/s400/raperatesgraph.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<i><blockquote>One of the more interesting academic articles dealing with this issue is by Anthony D’Amato from Northwestern University School of Law. His paper Porn Up, Rape Down discusses the idea that there was an 85% reduction in sexual violence over the 25 years to 2003 (and the rate has kept falling since the paper was published). He goes on to posit that not only does porn NOT cause rape, he suggests that it may actually reduce rape, either by serving as a release valve or by demystifying sex. He concedes that the correlation does not equal causality and suggests further research.</blockquote></i><br />
<br />
So he can definitely say that Porn doesn't cause rape, or even encourage the levels violent rape, statistically speaking. But I'm gonna call it: Porn reduces rape. More of those violent meat-heads who once prowled the parks and streets in search of sexual release are now whacking off to German dungeon porn and Brazilian fart porn and Japanese . . . well, you-name-it porn, a bag of Fritos on their belly and a box of tissues at their side. If nearly free on-line internet porn helps reduce the number of women who suffer sexual assaults every year, then I for one don't think that's too high of a price to pay.<br />
<br />
But next time a feminist or white knight gets in your face about porn "contributing to rape culture", haul this little statistic out. In point of fact, porn has reduced violent rape (either that or "abstinence-only" education is the reason, take your pick) which should, in any reasonable person's mind, be the ultimate measure of "rape culture". <br />
<br />
The problem is that too many feminists over the years -- and especially the current Old Guard feminists -- have tried to broaden the category of rape to such ambiguous extremes that to them "rape culture" includes the kind of hook-up culture that their younger spiritual descendants see as just another weekend. There was a time when (according to feminists) a woman could even decide she was raped after-the-fact, or if she was drinking then she could decide that any sexual contact was rape if she felt bad about it afterwards. And when feminists tried to broaden the category to include pretty much anything with the label of "bad sex", then that undermined the very real problem of violent rape in our culture.<br />
<br />
They attempted to conflate any less-than-ideal sexual liaison or "demeaning to women" portrayal of sex with rape, and most porn fell within that. Yes, there were problems with the porn industry back then, from under-age performers to overt violence in the actual movies. But the industry quickly became regulated as it became prominent, putting safeguards into place to ensure no under-aged performers would be used again, and making a conscious and conscientious decision to remove violence against women from porn themes. That wasn't because they were required to by law, that was because they recognized both the hurtful message such fare sent and because they wanted to tap into the potential of a large female market that recoiled at such rough portrayals. Don't forget, there are an awful lot of women in porn, and they don't like domestic violence or sexual assault any more than any other women. Less, actually, since many performers have had negative experiences like that in their lifetimes, usually before they got to the industry.<br />
<br />
I think we're beyond that kind of silliness as a culture now, but the 1980s contention that porn contributes to rape should be well and truly dead at this point. Thank goodness.Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-89340445377294203222012-01-11T12:01:00.000-08:002012-01-11T12:01:26.095-08:00"Ian, could you go over that thing about porn again?"I saw a comment over at Athol Kay's excellent blog, Married Man Sex Life that I had to respond to. Some folks thought that it was good enough to be posted as a post on it's own, so I thought, why not? <br />
<br />
Here's the question, in response to a dude "manning up" and taking the porn filters off of the computer, apparently placed there at an earlier date by his wife who objected to him watching:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>[H]ave you figured out why your wife just might object to the porn being readily available? <br />
<br />
Have men absolutely no clue as to why a woman would be unhappy with this idea? Yep, some women watch it,too but would venture most don't and a lot of women have a real problem with a spouse that is heavily into it. So many reasons why.<br />
<br />
By the way the sex industry is not so pristine (odd idea anyway for it) that you might be supporting the crime of sex trafficking. Any concerns?<br />
</blockquote><br />
<br />
Sorry, I disagree. But then I work in the industry. Allow me to rebut:<br />
<br />
Men do know why a woman would be unhappy with porn: it provides an alternate sexual outlet to her, and reduces her ability to control the sex life within the relationship. With the "competition" from imaginary women, a woman has higher sexual expectations to live up to, a more knowledgeable partner who may desire things outside of her comfort zone, and a medium through which to express his sexuality without her permission.<br />
<br />
If a man is watching porn at home, he's likely watching one of two things these days (and believe me, I spend a lot of my time examining male porn viewing habits -- it's my bread and butter). The first is homemade porn shot by consenting couples in the privacy of their own homes (well over 50% of total porn viewing). The second is professionally-made porn by a reputable studio. Neither one of these areas encourages "sex trafficking" as you speak of it. And if its the suffering of the poor girls you're worried about remember that a) they are very-well compensated for their work and the vast majority enjoy it tremendously and b) there are orders of magnitude more human suffering, despair, and brutal sexual conditions for the poor women in third-world countries who slave away for less than a dollar an hour with no job security, no safety regs, and where putting out for the boss is an expected part of your job . . . all so the women of the West can enjoy fashionable clothes and shoes at affordable prices. <br />
<br />
So let's not talk about "sex trafficking", shall we? Pro porn doesn't do that.<br />
<br />
Further, you have to understand that to most men, porn is an important expression of their sexuality. Through porn they can maintain a sense of control of their own sexuality, and they can indulge in cultivating sexual variety and developing a fantasy life without straying from their relationship. To most men, porn serves the same function that romance novels, soap operas and "supernatural thrillers" serve for women. <br />
<br />
"Porn addiction" (which is not a real medical or psychological condition) is a handy term that wives can use when they object to their husbands trying to assert control over their own sex lives. True, sexual obsession (which is a real psychological condition) can manifest itself through over-use of porn, but this is far rarer than most women want to believe. Most men use porn responsibly as a way to augment and inform their own sexuality. Trying to take that freedom away from a man is tantamount to restricting a woman's ability to establish her place in the social hierarchy.<br />
<br />
The truly amazing thing about the female reluctance to accept porn is that is often used to summarily reject an otherwise good guy, because women in general can't approach the subject honestly. So you can either find a guy who says he watches porn, or you can find a guy who lies about it, but using that criteria to reject a man is just foolish.Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-23064509974976743492011-12-29T12:16:00.000-08:002011-12-29T12:16:19.388-08:00"Ian, seen any good porn lately?"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTjq377megzNW0zmXOqqF2WOkW_mVypv0oEO4u6tsf3JgGV0UL1vcLccPtZdG_Dr7kDin-xGdYqlvajXWoZ-BuA-DC90imPttmDUmogfcLfKcl9IyiytOrJzNHKdrcmI_SE8px6NAkHgWe/s1600/jitcrunch47.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTjq377megzNW0zmXOqqF2WOkW_mVypv0oEO4u6tsf3JgGV0UL1vcLccPtZdG_Dr7kDin-xGdYqlvajXWoZ-BuA-DC90imPttmDUmogfcLfKcl9IyiytOrJzNHKdrcmI_SE8px6NAkHgWe/s400/jitcrunch47.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I get asked this question hundreds of times over the holidays. And of course I have recommendations to make. Here's the ones I make and who I make them to...<br />
<br />
Mr. Sci-Fi Action Adventure Nerd Fanboy:<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.videogoldmembers.com/shop-by-type/sp-horizon-6082.aspx"><b>Horizon (Wicked Pictures).</b> </a> Original sci-fi from America's classiest adult film studio. The effects are amateurish in places -- but hey, it's porn. Expectations are low. At least we're seeing some stab at original sci-fi in porn, instead of endless parodies of sci-fi. And the sex is very good, easily up to Wicked's high standards. Also recommended for horny nerd girls.<br />
<br />
Horny goth chicks in their 30s:<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://www.videogoldmembers.com/shop-by-type/sp-the-addams-family-xxx-6078.aspx">The Addams Family XXX (Exquisite)</a></b>: Their creepy and their kooky, and their campy and their kinky . . . every goth girl's favorite Nick At Nite re-run in stunning pornovision! Great fun with an old favorite, and you can wax nostalgic as you wax your pole to yummy Wednesday Addams, all growed up.<br />
<br />
Pornstar-obsessed compulsive masturbators:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.videogoldmembers.com/shop-by-type/sp-just-jenna-6072.aspx"><b>Just Jenna 2 (Jules Jordan)</b></a>: If you like Jenna Haze -- and nearly everyone with a penis does -- then this Jenna-only flick is your best friend. The porn superstar knows how to screw like a sex goddess, and her slim body would give a dead man wood. <br />
<br />
Also, give <a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-bree-tori-dvd-6353.aspx"><b>Bree & Tori (Adam & Eve)</b></a> a try. Bree Olson and Tori Black? There's nothing wrong with that combination. Just ask Charlie Sheen . . . <br />
<br />
The bitter, cynical horny divorcee in her 40s with the vibrator collection:<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/sp-bridesmaids-xxx-porn-parody-6355.aspx">Bridesmaids XXX</a></b>: Parody of the hit movie, this lusty look at marriage, weddings, and sex hits all the right spots.<br />
<br />
The Big-Black-Dicks-Are-Better crowd, male and female: <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-lex-steele-xxx-6338.aspx">Lex Steele XXX 14 (Mercenary):</a> Lexington Steele is one of the classiest black studs in the business, and the man knows how to choose his co-stars. This interracial flick is packed with Lex packing his dick in hot white pussy with his customary aplomb. They don't call him The Black Viking for nothing. I'm sure a girl feels thoroughly plundered after Lex.<br />
<br />
For the Young Hot Innocent Babes Are Better fellas:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-amateur-angels-dvd-6364.aspx"><b>Amateur Angels 23 (Adam & Eve)</b></a>: For years AEP had a great "casting couch" series called Amateur Angels. After a hiatus, it's back with a whole new crop of fresh-faced beauties who want to make it in the pornoverse. Directed by the capable Luc Wylder, of particular note are Adrianna and Stevie, although Cassandra certainly knows how to screw. I love the fact they brought the series back. Some people might think we have enough "fresh faced amateurs" series out there, but I beg to differ. And feel free to follow up with Digital Sin's <a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-a-young-girls-desires-6279.aspx"><b>A Young Girl's Desires 2</b></a>, with adorable hottie Ashlyn Rae on the cover. You'll thank me.<br />
<br />
Big Boob Obsessed Casual Wankers:<br />
<br />
Another Jules Jordan title,<a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-breast-in-class-naturally-gifted-6288.aspx"><b> Breast In Class: Naturally Gifted</b></a>. Starring some of the biggest, bestest breastesess on the planet, including Jenna Haze, Asa Akira, Lisa Ann, Kagney Linn Karter, Kirsten Price, Katsuni, and Chanel Preston. PLUS, it's a 2-disc set. Big boobs -- gotta love 'em.<br />
<br />
Black Booty Loving Self-Abusers:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-lexington-loves-jada-fire-5999.aspx"><b>Lexington Loves Jada,</b></a> from Mercenary. Watch the Black Viking and the Queen of Black Porn mix it up every way you can. Nasty, hot, all-black action from two of the industry's most popular performers. It's a treat.<br />
<br />
Butch lady-loving lesbians who can't stand standard girl-girl porn:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-girls-pleasing-girls-6297.aspx"><b>Girls Pleasing Girls (Abbey Winters</b></a>): The Australian all-girl movie house puts out the best "authentic" lesbian porn outside of San Francisco -- and the girls are usually pretty choice, too. This one will please both the for-reals-lesbian crowd and the authenticity maven alike. Drooling fist-pumpers who prefer the less-intense version of girl-girl are invited to enjoy . . . <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-girlfriends-6296.aspx"><b>Girlfriends 3</b></a>, from the gonzo wizards at 3rd Degree. Premium quality, Chatsworth-royalty pussy-eating porn princesses like Breanne Benson, Gracie Glam, Lexi Belle, Allie Haze, Julia Ann, April O’Neil, Alexis Texas, Brooklyn Lee, Chanel Preston, and more. They're hot, they're well-produced, and they're pros. And at least half of them are actually bi-sexual, too.<br />
<br />
MILF-loving Pole Polishers:<br />
<br />
Like the older ladies? While far from the "mature" category, the babes in <a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-the-cougar-club-6323.aspx"><b>The Cougar Club 3</b></a> are experienced, sexy, and utterly ready to hump any dick in sight. What more could you ask for? Stars Alexandra Silk, Raylene, Briana Banks, Inari Vachs, and Dyanna Lauren. <br />
<br />
Fellatio Aficionados: <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-down-your-throat-6294.aspx"><b>Down Your Throat 7 (Smash Pictures)</b></a>. 12 girls who sincerely love the dick. <br />
<br />
And that's just a start. If you want specific recommendations, feel free to send me an email with your desires, and I'll find something to recommend to your tastes. That's what I'm here for.Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-53932468434729575482011-12-19T13:43:00.000-08:002011-12-19T13:43:37.350-08:00New Blog: The Red Pill RoomI love being a Sex Nerd, and will continue this blog in my accustomed manner. However, due to the vast interest in my comments on the Manosphere, further posts directly involving the Manosphere will now be made here, at <a href="http://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/">The Red Pill Room</a>. This will allow me to talk about more wholesome subjects here, like porn.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/">Check it out</a>. You might like it.Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-33944551982532921162011-11-08T12:27:00.000-08:002011-11-09T06:25:45.846-08:00Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011: The Red Pill way to sleep with your wife.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivYhNDL7UydBiMT7y_5Q_0h8_ehku2vphHvyZgAIUJc2p7hv0tcxErZtLytBhfoFE28ZoL6CJFc7KU2F3nd7h1i0yzjFP3hwO4Xevp9m3uQ2CHjGIgo4T_yEK2O98PtCr84ogBU3zgMkob/s1600/419eEDLqR8L._BO2%252C204%252C203%252C200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click%252CTopRight%252C35%252C-76_AA300_SH20_AA278_PIkin4%252CBottomRight%252C-41%252C22_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivYhNDL7UydBiMT7y_5Q_0h8_ehku2vphHvyZgAIUJc2p7hv0tcxErZtLytBhfoFE28ZoL6CJFc7KU2F3nd7h1i0yzjFP3hwO4Xevp9m3uQ2CHjGIgo4T_yEK2O98PtCr84ogBU3zgMkob/s400/419eEDLqR8L._BO2%252C204%252C203%252C200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click%252CTopRight%252C35%252C-76_AA300_SH20_AA278_PIkin4%252CBottomRight%252C-41%252C22_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672728846273827794" /></a><br />Athol Kay’s expertise in sex is not in his formal education – he is a nurse (NOTE: I didn’t say MALE NURSE, because his gender has nothing to do with his vocation, and vice versa – any dude who looks down on what a nurse does as ‘women’s work’ is a self-professed idiot), which my experience working with nurses tells me that he has a whole lot of practical clinical experience backed up with a demanding and difficult medical and scientific education. Being a nurse is not easy, and what you have to go through to get there is hard. (UPDATED: Athol was kind enough to email me a correction: in addition to his nursing degree, he has a BA in Sociology. But he holds that his lack of formal education is one of his greater strengths, allowing him to bring a fresh perspective to the subject. I can see his point.) Athol runs the highly popular <a href="http://www.marriedmansexlife.com/">Married Man Sex Life blog,</a> (kind of a gateway drug for the Manosphere) from which many chapters of the book have been culled, distilled, and refined. But Athol doesn’t hold any other degree to my knowledge concerning Human Sexuality, Psychology, Anthropology or a related field. <br /><br />That being said, the man knows how to do research and relate it in a useful and entertaining manner. He begins by using the work of Biological Anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher, a Rutgers professor who is also the chief scientific officer at the dating site Chemistry.com. Athol's practical explanations of the intricate science behind human desire and mating that he expounds upon in <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004W0IRQ8/ref=as_li_tf_til?tag=mamaseli-20&camp=14573&creative=327641&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=B004W0IRQ8&adid=1BDYHKMXEH0WYATWZKPR&&ref-refURL=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.marriedmansexlife.com%2F">The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011</a> is one of the best, most complete and concise discussions of the subject I’ve ever read – and I’ve been a practicing Sex Nerd for years (and a promising amateur long before that). <br /><br />Better yet, it’s presented in a blunt, no-nonsense, humorous but utterly masculine style that any dude with the mental capacity to change his own oil will be able to understand. He introduces science to the discussion but doesn’t let it stomp on your buzz. Really, Athol breaks down the complex dance of hormones and the all-important menstrual cycle and its affects on men and women in the course of courtship and mating with breathtaking clarity.<br /><br />(Oh, and Athol? Total sci-fi nerd. I’m intrigued with how man former jocks are now turning to this hard-core nerd to save their sex lives. The irony is delicious!)<br /><br />Unlike <a href="http://thesexnerd.blogspot.com/2011/11/blue-pill-or-red-pill-two-approaches-to.html">Dr. Levkoff’s book, How To Sleep With Your Wife</a>, the Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 speaks directly to men in language men can understand. Far from condescending, it is one of the more empowering books on sexuality I’ve ever read. It begins with the premise that <span style="font-weight:bold;">it is perfectly normal and natural for a man to want and pursue a profoundly sexual relationship with his wife</span>, and proceeds with how to attain that golden goal through a comprehensive examination of the known science of sexual attraction, desire, and courtship. He covers <span style="font-weight:bold;">testosterone and estrogen, vasopressin </span>and of course the all-important <span style="font-weight:bold;">dopamine and oxytocin</span>, and their various affects on men and women as they go around pairbonding, falling in love, and otherwise trying to have sex with each other.<br /><br />But he doesn’t stop there. Athol continuously refers to Evolutionary Biology and its role in the way our mating evolved, and makes quite a point of invoking prehistoric necessity (humorously called <span style="font-style:italic;">The Time Before Writing</span>) to explain particulars of human sexual behavior. He brings a nurse's familiarity with anatomy to the discussion about a wife's menstrual cycle and what it means to your sex life. And while he doesn’t quote sources sufficient for an academic piece, he expounds on the sex lives of our paleo ancestors (and why it’s important to <span style="font-style:italic;">us</span>) in a way that any dude can appreciate.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004W0IRQ8/ref=as_li_tf_til?tag=mamaseli-20&camp=14573&creative=327641&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=B004W0IRQ8&adid=1BDYHKMXEH0WYATWZKPR&&ref-refURL=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.marriedmansexlife.com%2F">Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 </a>makes a strong case for monogamy and against any kind of mate-sharing – but it’s not a standard-issue American quasi-monogamous marriage he’s proposing, here. (Partially because he’s a Kiwi from NZ). No, <span style="font-weight:bold;">he proposes that the proper way to a man’s happiness is to get laid like tile within the bounds of his marriage. </span> And then he gives his reasoning against infidelity as powerfully as he runs step-by-step through the stark decision-making process a man uses to consider a divorce. <br /><br />But it’s not a mere “demand for service” he’s proposing, either. The centerpiece to the book is his <span style="font-weight:bold;">Male Action Plan (MAP)</span>. It’s a comprehensive method for a man to re-invent himself in a way which will leave his wife little choice but to either fall in healthy lust with him again or admit to mental issues and seek professional help. Or it will at least force the issue in a bad marriage and allow a man to cut the bonds cleanly before pursuing a better match. Along the way key traditional elements of masculine identity combine with an enlightened approach to modern sensibilities. <br /><br />In Athol’s MMSL world,<span style="font-weight:bold;"> Alpha and Beta aren’t opposite ends of the dial, they’re two separate, distinct, and important controls a man employs to attract and keep a mate. </span> Simply put, you use Alpha to attract her and hold her sexual interest, and Beta to make her comfortable and assure her of your commitment. Alpha doesn’t mean be a dick all the time. Beta doesn’t mean be a pussy all the time. But you have to know how and when and in what proportions to be both nurturing (in that specific fatherly sort of way) and commanding (in that strong Captain Picard way) without being abusive. <br /><br />Included within the MAP are suggestions for improving both Alpha and Beta qualities; the use of physical fitness in your regime; the importance of setting boundaries within your relationship; holding your wife accountable; the use (not abuse) of domination strategies to encourage your wife; the potential consequences of ignoring major problems in the relationship; and the importance of a good, healthy, and attractive physical appearance in your relationship. <br /><br />Athol gives you some intriguing strategies for Game, as well as examples from his own life that illustrate how to apply Game to your marriage. He and his wife Jennifer are very much in love, love each other, and apparently have an enviable amount of lusty sex while maintaining a two-career life with two adolescent daughters to raise. That’s a perspective so many men can relate to in contemporary America, and the fact that both Athol and his wife freely use humor as an essential part of their marriage to disarm potential negatives and accentuate positives gives us an outstanding example of how to do likewise in our own relationships. Dude is funny, no joke.<br /><br />There’s a lot of specific terminology to master: <span style="font-style:italic;">Sex Rank, Rationalization Hamster, Red Pill/Blue Pill, Sex Strategy, Body Agenda, Preselection, Fitness Test, Beta Orbiter, Nice Guy, Oneitis, L-Spot </span>(women love that one!) and of course the all-important term, <span style="font-weight:bold;">Game<span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span>. He revisits some pop-culture answers to marital problems, addressing the importance of Date Night and what it entails from a male perspective, for instance. He is devout about his insistence of positive affirmations, saying “I love you” and meaning it, and other beta-oriented stuff. But he puts it in Red Pill context, which makes it less demeaning to your spirit and more approachable as a practical matter.<br /><br />This is a profoundly important book for the Manosphere, as men search for a new and successful mating strategies. While Athol’s focus is clearly on post-marital life, he devotes a good amount of space to proper Wife Selection – something far too few men even consider while they’re searching for a decent date. He points out some telling red flags in a potential wife, things that we rarely think of as we’re ogling the boobs across the room that could spell our doom. <span style="font-weight:bold;">He empowers husbands to take control of themselves, their wives, and celebrate their sexuality and masculinity without shame or remorse.</span> He doesn’t ask that you kiss your wife’s ass – unless it’s an appropriate time and place to do so and leads to you actually getting laid more. His MAP is far more about tearing yourself down to the bare metal and rebuilding your manhood without fear of being judged. After all, who can argue with becoming a better man?<br /><br />Athol also respects the power of porn, which is an important thing for me. He isn’t a crazy advocate or staunchly anti-porn, and he freely acknowledges the role that porn can play in a sexually healthy marriage, and for a sexually healthy man. But he also points out that constantly whacking off to porn is not real Alpha behavior, and is ultimately not going to get you laid. Unlike other books I’ve reviewed, he understands the dangers of porn in a relationship, but he addresses it without judgment, merely as a practical matter.<br /><br />If there are any criticisms I have about this book, they’re constructive, as in: I wanna see more! The promise of further annual editions is encouraging, as long as fresh material is added to augment the already-bountiful content. I also see plenty of room for additional guides dealing with more specific issues: dating, aging, recovering from divorce, and social elements for men. There is plenty of additional material Athol could introduce, such as the role of pheromones, the importance of keeping control of your social life, and how to deal with economic disparities within a marriage. <br /><br />But as it stands, <span style="font-weight:bold;">I could easily see MMSL become the de facto Farmers Almanac of the Manosphere. </span> It’s about as useful a tool as a married man could ask for in terms of understanding his wife and their sex life despite whatever pscyho-fad is in vogue amongst our wives at the moment. And for $3.99 it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than marriage counseling. In fact, it’s not exactly a marriage manual – it’s more of an anti-divorce manual. But it begins with the prospect that getting laid by your wife early and often is a worthy endeavor for any man, and proceeds from there with stunning logic and blunt style. I’m very intrigued, actually, in the possibility of distilling some of the basics of his guide into easy-to-understand lessons for my boys to prepare them for the problems they’ll inevitably face when it comes to women.<br /><br />Wish the hell someone had done that for <span style="font-style:italic;">me.</span><br /><br />But my advice? Buy a copy, read it, contemplate it, begin the plan . . . <span style="font-style:italic;">but don’t tell your wife. </span>And don’t let her read it, at least not yet. Just man-up, begin your MAP, and let her experience the newly-evolving you in all of your masculine glory.<br /><br />It’s more of a surprise that way.Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-37245497509738227702011-11-07T12:09:00.001-08:002011-11-07T13:07:58.162-08:00The Blue Pill Or The Red Pill? Two Approaches To A Happier Marital Sex Life. And One Sucks.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYzaJz9q2OhyGDJrXkGqeZWMbg3hT_VIznowgUkbK7xxHRY_eOZ__6iqq-1yCkNX1n_n9YtmzQ_ZKIOc0w8qGjrYSenN-HZen9izr_GmJCw9AuN3mCEFPeG7vt6VtZRsik7-iPZ58fuDc9/s1600/bookpic.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYzaJz9q2OhyGDJrXkGqeZWMbg3hT_VIznowgUkbK7xxHRY_eOZ__6iqq-1yCkNX1n_n9YtmzQ_ZKIOc0w8qGjrYSenN-HZen9izr_GmJCw9AuN3mCEFPeG7vt6VtZRsik7-iPZ58fuDc9/s400/bookpic.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672356753120316962" /></a><br /><br />In the course of doing some research for a professional project, I came across a couple of books which both purport to solve the age-old problem: <span style="font-weight:bold;">How to get your wife to keep having sex with you after the honeymoon.</span><br /><br />This is mostly a male issue, but it’s one that’s increasingly important to a lot of middle-aged men. And almost all married men. So with that in mind, I picked up <a href="http://www.amazon.com/How-Your-Wife-Have-ebook/dp/B005S19106/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1320693986&sr=8-2">“How To Get Your Wife To Have Sex With You”, by Logan Levkoff, Ph.D.,</a> a sex researcher. I was recommended the book by the Good In Bed site, which includes a lot of sex experts, including one of my faves, <a href="http://enagoski.wordpress.com/">the other Sex Nerd, Emily Nagoski</a>.<br /><br />So Dr. Levkoff is a sex expert. In fact, she’s “<span style="font-style:italic;">A recognized expert on sexuality and relationships</span>”, according to the site (although it fails to mention who granted her that recognition) and <span style="font-style:italic;">“a thought leader in the field of human sexuality”</span>, whatever that means. As far as academic credentials go, she’s an AASECT certified sex educator, she received her Ph.D. in Human Sexuality, Marriage, and Family Life Education from New York University and has an M.S. in Human Sexuality Education and a B.A. in English from the University of Pennsylvania. <br /><br />So she’s got some initials. She’s got some diplomas. On paper, she <span style="font-style:italic;">should</span> have the answers. But does she have the goods?<br /><br />I’m afraid to say, gentlemen, that no, she does not. <br /><br />This book is essentially a long female manifesto of how you, too, can become the perfect Blue Pill Beta. That is, i<span style="font-weight:bold;">t encourages men to sacrifice their own sexual interests for the sake of their wives’, with little understanding or appreciation for male sexuality at all.</span> Indeed, for a sex expert Dr. Levkoff seems <span style="font-style:italic;">profoundly</span> ignorant of some basic issues of modern male sexuality, when applied to this particular situation.<br /><br />A better title for the book would be <span style="font-weight:bold;">“How To Capitulate To Your Wife’s Idea Of Sex To Minutely Increase Your Chances Of Having Any Kind Of Sex At All.”</span><br /><br />Dr. Levkoff starts off in an utterly condescending manner in failed attempt to make it "easy to understand" for us poor, stupid males. She explains why wives don’t want to have sex with their husbands: <span style="font-style:italic;">“You guys act like such babies sometimes and we have those already.” </span> She actually <span style="font-style:italic;">says</span> that in the first few pages. It's a section dripping with barely-disguised contempt for masculinity.<br /><br /> If a male sex expert (such as myself, or even someone with initials after their name) began a self-described sexual manifesto with “<span style="font-style:italic;">You girls act like such controlling be-yatches sometimes and we’ve dealt with enough of those in our lives already”,</span> you can imagine that there would be hell to pay. But Dr. Levkoff has no problem savaging men in general, and in particular on the subject of our sexuality. The subtext is clear: <span style="font-weight:bold;">In a functional relationship, women naturally do not want to have sex with the men who have pledged their lives and fidelity to them. </span> It’s our job, then, to make any sex that does happen occur. Because otherwise, wives would just rather not.<br /><br />Great way to start off, Dr. Levkoff. I’m feeling more empowered already.<br /><br />She completely ignores the potent role sexual rejection has on the male psyche, and the natural consequences of that rejection. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Rejection is OUR PROBLEM</span>, she tells men, not their wives. If your wife doesn’t want to have sex with you, according to Dr. Levkoff, it’s <span style="font-style:italic;">your</span> fault, not <span style="font-style:italic;">hers</span>. If she doesn’t want to have sex with you, then you’re supposed to ignore the deep, biting feeling of personal despair and loss of self-esteem that this entails, and <span style="font-style:italic;">“don’t take it personally</span>”. Even though it’s the most personal possible subject.<br /><br />There is virtually <span style="font-style:italic;">no</span> discussion whatsoever about how a wife’s sexual rejection of her husband naturally transforms into emotional distance and sexual objectification in his mind – a handy hint to all of the wives out there. And there are no helpful hints about how to keep from spiraling into despair and depression over continuous rejection by the only person you’re legally allowed to have sex with. Just an admonition that you shouldn’t take her rejection personally because “<span style="font-style:italic;">it’s not about you”. </span><br /><br />It’s about <span style="font-style:italic;">her</span>. <br /><br />That’s right, as Dr. Levkoff sees it, your sex life as a couple is about <span style="font-style:italic;">her,</span> not about <span style="font-style:italic;">you</span>. It’s <span style="font-style:italic;">her </span>needs that matter, not <span style="font-style:italic;">yours</span>. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Your needs are a given, a constant, and therefore something she can comfortably ignorable.</span> The fact that SHE is the one rejecting YOU, that doesn’t enter into the equation at all. <br /><br />And that’s just the <span style="font-style:italic;">introduction. </span> <br /><br />In the first chapter of the “Out of Bed” section, <span style="font-weight:bold;">Dr. Levkoff starts off her manifesto by insulting the erection. </span><span style="font-style:italic;">Not</span> a good start. Ladies, Rule Number One For Dealing With Dudes: <span style="font-weight:bold;">Never Diminish The Penis.</span> Got it? Learn it by heart. Seriously.<br /><br />Apparently the whole “<span style="font-style:italic;">men like their erections, and their penises in general, and generally don’t appreciate it when you diminish them”</span> message didn’t get across to Dr. Levkoff during her professional education, because throughout the book she treats them with disrespect and thinly-disguised scorn and condescension. There is little respect for the organ, or the use to which it is put – at best, it’s amusing to her; at worst, it’s an annoyance that wives can do without. While she casually mentions how vibrators aren’t replacements for “a hot blooded man” in the <span style="font-style:italic;">extensive </span>section of the book dealing with vibrators, she fails to enumerate her reasoning in any convincing fashion. In fact, she gives far, far more attention to sex toys than the penis in this book. <br /><br />That should tell you something.<br /><br />Throughout the book Dr. Levkoff treats men like idiots who have never heard of foreplay. While a certain amount of that is understandable, given the erotic ignorance of some men, the fact is that most men actually seeking answers in Dr. Levkoff’s book have likely long ago studied all about foreplay. Indeed, most men in a sex-lite marriage would be <span style="font-style:italic;">thrilled to death</span> to indulge in foreplay, instead of the <span style="font-style:italic;">“Oh, GOD, you want to do it </span>again?” quickies they survive on. The complaint of men who are searching for these answers usually has little to do with their willingness to enjoy foreplay. It’s when their foreplay doesn’t come to fruition that they become frustrated – and Dr. Levkoff has little to offer during that instance except <span style="font-style:italic;">“get over it”. </span><br /><br />She declares <span style="font-style:italic;">“Begin the day with a hug” </span>. . . and apparently no expectations of sex from your wife. Her attitude seems to be that if you remove every last thing that is bothering her then she won’t have any reason to turn you down . . . unless she just doesn’t <span style="font-style:italic;">feel</span> like it, in which case you just need to <span style="font-style:italic;">get used to it</span>. Expecting sex after you’ve devoted your day to the kind of intense arse-kissing and ego-massaging of your wife, often to your own detriment, is <span style="font-style:italic;">just a bad idea</span>, according to Dr. Levkoff. <span style="font-weight:bold;">If she does have sex with you, it won’t be because of anything you do or don’t do, it will be purely because of her whim and her grace.</span> <span style="font-style:italic;"> “Begin the day with a hug” i</span>s indeed great advice for men who follow Dr. Levkoff’s book, therefore, but the rest of the sentence should read <span style="font-style:italic;">“. . . because that’s about as close to her vagina as you can reasonably expect to get.”</span><br /><br />Other examples of great advice from the book? <span style="font-weight:bold;">Don’t piss her off.</span> Dr. Levkoff freely acknowledges that women use sex as a weapon to keep and maintain power in their marital relationships: <span style="font-style:italic;">“We will hold a grudge and the last thing we’ll want to do is give you sex.”</span> <span style="font-weight:bold;">In no way does she suggest that this application of power is unfair or exploitive, demeaning or harmful. </span> As a matter of fact, she seems stubbornly proud of this willingness on the part of wives to cut off their husbands if they irritate them. So a vital part of her program involves utterly capitulating to your wife in an abasing attempt to lure her into sex. Because, as the good doctor points out, “<span style="font-style:italic;">We’d rather withhold than give you what you want”. </span><br /><br />Of course, when a <span style="font-style:italic;">husband</span> withholds <span style="font-style:italic;">non</span>-sexual physical affection or verbal affirmation from his wife, that’s considered “emotional abuse” in some places and by a number of sex therapists, because that hurts your wife’s <span style="font-style:italic;">feelings.</span> Your feelings – especially about sex – clearly just do not matter to Dr. Levkoff here. The important thing is to keep from pissing off your wife. <br /><br />Dr. Levkoff goes on to recommend that you shower your wife with appreciation –and of course she doesn’t have to appreciate you in return – in the form of near-constant attention to her. <span style="font-weight:bold;">You should buy her things, be emotionally vulnerable to her, be verbally expressive of your (only positive) feelings about her, and flatter her incessantly.</span> You should be willing and eager to listen to what is going on in her life (although Dr. Levkoff has little to say about how involved and interested she should be in yours) <span style="font-style:italic;">without expectation </span>that this will lead to sexual intimacy. But I do give her credit on this point: she graciously admits that, gosh, sometimes women use rote “I love you” responses too, and maybe they should put a little more effort into it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">In Dr. Levkoff’s plan, daily undying expressions of love and heartfelt devotion without any reciprocation are expected, if you want to get laid by your own wife.</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">“It’s the stuff of cheesy romance novels and we don’t want to hear it all the time”</span> she says, inadvertently putting her finger on a serious part of the problem. <br /><br />Allow me to digress a moment to explain to the ignorant:<br /><br />Romance novels fuel female romantic fantasy life. While this is usually a good thing, they also promote certain tropes which give highly unrealistic expectations to women about how real relationships work. In romance novels the hero is always tall, good-looking, rich, successful and in love with the heroine for no good specific reason except she’s beautiful. He always struggles with his desire for her and ends up passionately declaring his love for her, no matter how much of a miserable creature she is, his absolute need to be with her to the exclusion of any other person or thing being foremost in his mind. The romantic hero routinely reveals his deepest emotional vulnerabilities which she – and <span style="font-style:italic;">only</span> she – can evoke. And he does this like six or seven times each novel, until any sane man who has experience in a relationship wants to throw up.<br /><br />Here’s a hint, ladies: <span style="font-weight:bold;">span style="font-style:italic;">real men don’t do this</span>. You shouldn’t <span style="font-style:italic;">expect</span> real men to do this. You can be a real good man and <span style="font-style:italic;">not </span>do this. In fact, <span style="font-weight:bold;">the number of men for whom this is possible are usually either gay or players. </span> In other words, you should be immediately be wary of any man who actually <span style="font-style:italic;">can </span>do this. <br /><br />But the deep, eloquent, heartfelt declaration of love from your man is right up there with the moans and howls that porn stars use when they fake an orgasm. It builds up the same kinds of highly unrealistic expectations, the same inevitable disappointments, and the same dissatisfaction with your marriage that watching too much porn can for your husband. Romance novels are about FANTASY, after all. At least, that’s what women keep telling us. So the next time you want your dude to bust out with the expressions of undying love, perhaps you can find it in your soul to talk a little dirty to him during sex, and see how natural it feels when you do it. End of digression.<br /><br />But the point is well-taken: wives are getting their cues for what constitutes “romance” from such things as romance novels and soap operas and supernatural thrillers written from the vampire’s point of view. Which means that<span style="font-weight:bold;"> the romantic expectations they have of their husbands are highly unrealistic to begin with. </span> Does Dr. Levkoff address this glaring discrepancy in inter-gender relations? No, <span style="font-weight:bold;">she invites men to start reading “erotic” romances instead of watching porn, essentially telling them to capitulate – once again – to their wives’ ideas and ideals about sex at the expense of their own.<br /></span><br />She brings up that old marriage counselor standard for saving marriages, Date night (duh!), although she’s quite explicit about what this entails: YOU plan dates for US. YOU can BUY US things and ENTERTAIN US, without any expectations for reciprocation or even appreciation. Levkoff trots out the trite old <span style="font-style:italic;">“just make her a mix tape” </span>suggestion as if it’s a novel idea. News flash: most of the guys reading this book tried that long ago. Hell, for some dudes the mix tape is the only game they ever <span style="font-style:italic;">had</span>. <br /><br />And then there’s <span style="font-style:italic;">this</span> heartbreaking lie: <span style="font-style:italic;">If you clean the house, you get laid. </span><br /><br />I’m going to call <span style="font-style:italic;">bullshit </span>on that one. <br /><br />The myth that women do all of the housework is long over, and within my generation the split is about 50/50 now. If your mileage varies from that, you’re an exception in this day and age. It may be even more tilted in favor of husbands, once you add in yard, house and lawn maintenance into the equation. <br /><br />Here’s the fact: your wife might freak out over a messy house, <span style="font-style:italic;">but cleaning it won’t get you laid.</span> It won’t get you a BJ. It won’t even get you bragged about to her girlfriends. It <span style="font-style:italic;">might</span> get you verbally appreciated – the first time – but after that it’s expected and goes unrewarded. Sure, she might be able to unwind more in a clean house – I’m sure we all would – but the reality on the ground is that any house with kids is always going to need more cleaning. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Using that as an excuse not to sleep with your husband is both gallingly disrespectful to him and a tacit admission of control and manipulation on your part.</span><br /><br />And so on.<br /><br />Mostly this book is tacitly about female entitlement, and what women “deserve”. Nowhere in the book does it mention a man deserves <span style="font-style:italic;">jack squat</span>. It reads like a litany of female entitlement and male blame: if a couple isn’t having sex enough, then the answer is always about how HE isn’t doing it right. Obviously the way to cure this is for HIM to re-design his sexuality around HER needs and desires, according to the good doctor. If she’s stressed about housework, it’s because HE isn’t doing enough. If she’s stressed about her body image, it’s because HE isn’t paying her enough compliments. Even when she occasionally drops us a bone by admitting that women have some responsibility for their own sexuality in the relationship, she rationalizes it away as <span style="font-style:italic;">“that’s just the way things are”. Get used to it.</span><br /><br />She’s condescending. She’s insulting. She treats men like the idiots she obviously takes them for. In the same book that she complains that men shouldn’t watch porn when they have a willing partner in the next room, she also explains how it ordinarily takes <span style="font-style:italic;">many long hours of foreplay</span> for a woman to be ‘ready for sex’. (So much for a “willing” partner . . .). With the picture she paints in this book, including the focus on how much non-sexual intimacy a man should have to perform before he is granted access to sex by his wife, one would wonder why <span style="font-style:italic;">any </span>husband would demean himself over that length of time for the pleasure of twenty minutes of erotic mediocrity, when he could have big busty co-eds at his fingertips on-line without expending more energy than locking the door. <br /><br />In fact, for a sex researcher, she seems to have an abysmal understanding of male sexuality beyond the basic “men want to have sex all the time” thought. T<span style="font-weight:bold;">he underlying premise in this book is that if a husband doesn’t piss off his wife and kisses her arse all the time – essentially capitulating to the feminine ideal of romantic and erotic love at the expense of the male ideal of sexual romance and adventure – then the woman in your life will graciously bestow on you that which you seek.</span> <br /><br />Maybe. If you’re lucky. And she feels like it. And if she doesn’t, then <span style="font-style:italic;">don’t</span> take it personally, it’s <span style="font-style:italic;">still </span>your fault, and you probably screwed it up somewhere along the line anyway, so you don’t <span style="font-style:italic;">really</span> deserve it.<br /><br />Most galling, <span style="font-weight:bold;">she compares marriage to a fairy tale, and expects the men who are her supposed audience to relate to that analogy.</span> It stands to reason, as “marriage-as-fairy-tale” is clearly at the heart of the female marital fantasy. But let me spell something out for the good doctor, and all of the women who are reading this: <span style="font-weight:bold;">Men do not, and have never, envisioned a successful marriage as a fairy-tale romance. </span> And anyone who purports to know male sexuality enough to be able to sling around the term “sex expert” should recognize that.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Women</span> see marriage as a fairy tale – it’s there from the moment they watch their first Disney movie, if not before. The culmination of every successful romance novel is the heroine and the love interest heading down the aisle. It’s so commonplace that professional romance writers even use it as shorthand for the end of the book: “HEA”. To women, the wedding is the prize that they get at the end of the passionate courtship, the culmination of all of their romantic thoughts and feelings. There’s a reason why it’s usually the bride, not the groom, who’s freaking out over wedding preparations. It’s her “Princess Moment”, when her husband takes her away to live in a state of bliss like some Prince Charming.<br /><br />Only, that’s <span style="font-style:italic;">not</span> how men see marriage. It’s <span style="font-style:italic;">not</span> a fairy tale. We know it’s a lot of hard work because we saw what our fathers went through with our mothers. We know all of the downsides from the start, including just what might happen if children become part of the equation. We saw the looks of despair and suffering on our fathers’ faces every time they sacrificed some shred of dignity or respect on the altar of their marriage. That’s <span style="font-style:italic;">no</span> fairy tale.<br /><br />When men decide to get married, and marry a particular woman, they aren’t seeing it as a fairy tale come to life, they’re envisioning it as a never-ending porn flick. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Our “Happily Ever After” includes frequent, lusty, adventurous sex – the kind of sex we usually get in the months leading up to the marriage, if we’re lucky, as our intended brides try to keep us from bolting</span>. Our HEA has spontaneous oral and lazy Saturday mornings and lunch-hour surprises and regular weekends away for mind-blowing hotel sex and far too much of the household budget spent on lingerie and sex toys. It involves explaining scratches on your back when you whip off your shirt at basketball practice. It involves telling an attractive stranger who asks for your number that you’re happily married, without having to explain just why you’re happy you got married. <br /><br />To men, the idea of marriage revolves around the idea of access to sex with our wives, with just about everything else as a secondary issue. It has little to do with declarations of undying love or doing a load of laundry. As much as we value their companionship and friendship, sex with our wives is a central – if not <span style="font-style:italic;">the</span> central – component to our conception of marriage. You take the sex away, or reduce it to occasions memorable for their rarity, not their inspiration, and you kick a supporting pillar out from under the marriage whether you recognize it as such or not. <br /><br />Because one glaring issue that Dr. Levkoff ignores or takes for granted is that the men reading this book, who are obviously distressed about their marital sex lives and want to repair the problem, aren’t looking at it from a “how can we add spice in the bedroom”-Cosmo-article perspective, where the price of failure is an indulgence in some retail therapy and a grande mochacino. The men who are reading this book are doing so because they are, consciously or subconsciously, contemplating infidelity, and they are <span style="font-style:italic;">desperate</span> for options. <br /><br />That’s the part that she takes for granted: the competitive nature of the situation. Dr. Levkoff blithely assumes that the men who are reading her advice are going to remain faithful to their wives regardless of the sexual situation in the marriage. She pretends that they have no other options. She presupposes that they will have to either capitulate to the whims of their wives at the cost of their own sexuality and sexual interests, or they will live just have to learn how to live in a low-sex marriage. She ignores the very real possibility that a man who tries her betamizing approach and does not get the desired response will eventually end up with recourse to Craig’s List, an office affair, or the good old fashioned neighborhood massage parlor. <br /><br />In an age when a man can get sex delivered discreetly to his door with an email and a credit card, and where the number of single women looking for husbands has hit epidemic proportions, men have far more practical options for infidelity than ever before. When he can go to a website that guarantees a no-strings-attached discreet affair with a like-minded dissatisfied wife of some other husband, or a lusty single woman seeking some other woman’s unappreciated husband, it's hard to think that he can get consistently rejected for sex by his wife and not seriously contemplate an affair.. <br /><br />Believe me, there are <span style="font-style:italic;">plenty</span> of folks who think the grass is greener out there. <span style="font-weight:bold;">The middle-aged husband who unsuccessfully begs his wife for sex is going to look like a rock star to some other woman out there who will be more than happy to appreciate him sexually while she’s appreciating the security he provides her.</span> The alternatives are there, they’re easy to find, and the only thing holding most frustrated husbands back from plunging headlong into the sexual smorgasbord they see online every day is a heroic dedication to their marriages and their wives and their families. <br /><br />The rise of internet porn has likewise provided a sexual outlet for the husband that Dr. Levkoff does not fully appreciate in her book. Yes, she mentions it – somewhat distastefully, even as she graciously agrees that masturbation and fantasy is good for both men <span style="font-style:italic;">and </span>women – but she doesn’t appreciate the magnitude of what it can mean within a marriage, both positive and negative. <br /><br />For good or ill, porn has raised the level of competition in marriage by exposing husbands to a nearly endless variety of erotic whackfodder, offering documentary proof that women other than his wife “do those things”, and some with breathtaking regularity and eagerness. It has contributed to liberalizing sexual mores in our culture in a way not seen since the early days of <span style="font-style:italic;">Cosmopolitan</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Playboy</span>. <br /><br />No longer does the simple possession of a vagina make a wife irresistible to her husband – now she’s expected to know how to use it effectively. If women have high expectations of men, thanks to romance novels and softcore vampire smut, then you can blame porn for men having higher expectations of their wives than they did a generation ago. <br /><br />The draw is almost irresistible to the frustrated male rejected once too often. Indeed, the one leads to the other: men naturally disconnect and distance themselves after a rejection, and go into hard core (excuse the pun) objectifying mode when they are sexually rejected . . . and porn lets them do that better than Half Off Wing Night at Hooters. The advantages are clear: Internet porn doesn’t <span style="font-style:italic;">need</span> foreplay. It doesn’t need to be told you don’t think it looks fat in those jeans. It doesn’t have to be assured, or flattered, or appreciated, and you are always assured of the outcome before you go there. You know if you watch porn, you’re probably going to have an orgasm. It’s quick, easy, and comforting to the soul. To married men, internet porn is like a sexual safety net. <br /><br />But it’s not “real sex”. We know that. You know that. We never thought it was, and we never wanted to replace “real sex” with porn. But especially where a disparity of desire – or serious relationship issues – conspires to make everyone’s life miserable, porn is a way to keep the pressure off and keep you from doing something stupid.<br /><br />But I digress. The upshot is that this is the perfect book of advice for the Blue Pill dude who wants to learn how to kiss his wife’s butt more, and maybe get laid a <span style="font-style:italic;">little</span> bit more, maybe. The tone of the author to the intended reader is condescending and at times insulting, and despite the author’s credentials as a Ph. D. there is a startling lack of science in this book. Hormones are only touched on briefly, and only in the context of women’s hormones. Pheromones are barely mentioned at all. Men’s sexual needs are treated as a trivial option, and there is nothing here to help a man in a low-sex relationship convince his wife to take it up a notch – on the contrary, <span style="font-weight:bold;">relying on this book will, indeed make your wife happy . . . but your penis won’t be impressed.</span><br /><br />Next time, I’ll take a look at the book on the same subject that’s taking the Manosphere by storm:<a href="http://www.marriedmansexlife.com/"> Athol Kay’s</a> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004W0IRQ8">Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011</a>. If this is the Blue Pill book for men to try to get laid in their marriages, Athol’s book is the Red Pill book – and <span style="font-style:italic;">it doesn’t suck</span>. In fact, it seems to actually work.Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-55741597043312469902011-10-19T07:42:00.001-07:002011-10-19T09:00:11.211-07:00100,000 Nerds Under One Roof Means Serious Nerd LustI was fortunate enough to tag along on a "junket" to Manhattan last weekend, during which I attended what has got to be the largest collection of nerds on the East Coast. The 2011 NYC Comic Con may not sound like a seething cauldron of geeky sexuality, but . . . dude . . . it was.<br /><br />Sexuality and comic books have a long history, of course. The buxom heroines on the covers of the Golden Age comics and science fiction magazines were blatantly pornographic in an era famous for its repressed sexuality. Once upon a time just possessing a comic book could get you on the couch with a die-hard Freudian, answering all sorts of uncomfortable questions about your mother's underwear. <br /><br />But comics have moved from the lurid to the tolerated to the indulgent to the mainstream over the course of a lifetime, and the modern medium and its cousins have certainly matured, as art and in subject matter. The NY Comic Con had its share of nostalgic and family-friendly fare, of course, but beyond the graphic novels about brain-eating zombies and unlikely superheroes, vampires both dark and sparkly, and some truly lovely books about sword-swinging mice, there's plenty of raw sexuality seething, in the books and amongst the fans.<br /><br />Consider: the Anime festival was held in conjunction with the Comic Book con. There were literally thousands of cute Asian girls in miniskirts running around looking like Sailor Moon. No less than three Princess Leias, in full faux-bronze bikinis, were in attendance, one with with an anorexic Jabba The Hutt as an escort. There were Ms. Marvel costumes that inspired a lot of male fantasies, and there were Wolverine costumes, too . . . if walking around without a shirt on, chomping a cigar, with plastic knives strapped to your forearms constitutes a costume. Male or female, ugly or hot, the name of the game was fantasy, and that included an awful lot of illicit fantasy.<br /><br />There was also a lot of hooking up among the fandom. You just can't put that many horny nerds in one place, in costume, without a certain amount of fantasy-laden casual sex happening. <br /><br />But what the con taught me most about Nerdom at large was that the typical "Big Bang Theory" stereotype of asthmatic geeks too wrapped up in their toys and fictions to interact on a sexual level is, for the most part, just a lot of crap. The extreme examples of the breed might be outside of mainstream sexuality on the surface, but their passion and enthusiasm lends them a confidence that is the essence of attraction.<br /><br />In other words, if you're enough of a geek to spend $300 on a set of stormtrooper armor, then you're probably passionate enough to put the moves on the cute pink Twi'lek chick you meet in line at the juice bar. Despite the fact that you're actually a computer analyst from Des Moines and she's a customer service rep at an insurance firm in Pennsylvania, for a few brief hours you have the chance to transcend the mundane considerations of your utterly average life, become a lonely stormtrooper on a godforsaken rimworld and an enthusiastic exotic dancer with a couple of extra tentacles sticking out of your head, and indulge in hot clone-on-alien sex at your hotel room while your roomies are standing in line for autographs. <br /><br />From such illicit (and possibly mentally unhealthy) liaisons, relationships will form, couples will unite, and a whole new generation of nerdlings will be born. But don't think it's sad and pathetic -- it's not. It's as romantic as a dozen red roses or the big box of chocolates. It's not normal, it's not really mainstream, and it's borderline kinky, but horny nerds acting out their cosplay fantasies, no matter what the genre or medium, is as authentically sexual as you could ask for. <br /><br />Sure, there are plenty of ugly nerds out there. But there are also some breathtakingly beautiful nerds who did not let their outward appearance seduce them to the dark side of popularity and mediocre teen dramas, opting instead to stretch their boundaries with fantasy and good old fashioned obsession. Not every Captain America costume concealed a pencil-necked geek, nor did every pair of tights sag in all the wrong places: there are plenty of hot nerds out there, both boys and girls. And both kinds are plenty horny. Best yet, the hot nerds usually don't realize that they're hot, which makes them more approachable, somehow, than the boring, pretty, popular people.<br /><br />I have to wonder, at this point, exactly how the institution of the sci-fi/comic/gaming convention plays a role in the mating cycle of the American Nerd, but I do know a few things about it. Organized conventions have been going on since the early 1970s, if not before. Our forefathers cut loose wearing Spock ears and drinking heavily spiked Romulan Ale. I know for a fact that children have been conceived there, and plenty of nerds find their nerdy life-partners at such celebrations. For some, three generations or more of hard core sci-fi geeks have been haunting the same circles, bringing their brainy DNA to the table to mix with other brainy DNA. <br /><br />That kind of intense concentration of nerdity over time is going to have an effect. Indeed, conventions in the future may become quasi-religious affairs designed to facilitate the strengthening of the sub-species, with plenty of cross-genre pollination to keep things fresh. Mom and Dad into Trek? Then find a nice Steampunk girl, and spend the rest of your life raising your mutant hybrid superchildren in your house full of valuable collectibles. Are you a die-hard Browncoat who can swear in Chinese and knit ugly hats? There's a super hot Asian nerdette out there with a passion for anime who wants to correct your pronunciation back in <span style="font-style:italic;">her</span> room. Soon your hyper-intelligent offspring will be clobbering the competition in spelling bees every week and building fully-functional super-robots on the weekends. And your grandchildren will be ruling the world through custom game consoles and homemade artificial intelligences.<br /><br />For we are a proud and valiant people, and we really don't mind the stares and the odd looks. We're having hot, kinky costumed nerdsex while the rest of you are still trying to figure out how to bring up the subject of anal to your long term partner.Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-901209737971206932011-09-30T08:19:00.000-07:002011-09-30T08:40:46.540-07:00The Manosphere, in contextI was perusing the latest post over at <a href="http://theprivateman.wordpress.com/2011/09/30/the-power-of-the-manosphere/#comment-2573">The Private Man </a>about the growing power of the Manosphere (that collection of chat rooms and blogs revolving around reclaiming masculine power and celebrating masculine sexuality in a positive, guy-centric way) when someone tried to blame Feminism for all of the sexual ills of modern man.<br /><br />Of course I couldn't let that stand. The fact is, Feminism, on the whole, has been a positive force in society over all in the last 50 years, even if it has sucked for us menfolk repeatedly. But laying the blame of the current disarray in male-female sexual dynamics at the feet of Feminism is a mistake. The real culprit is evolving technology, and as I pointed out in my response (posted in edited form below) the technological advantage is starting to swing towards men in some very real and powerful ways.<br /><br />I'm not discounting the power of the Manosphere. There are extremely insightful and telling observations amongst the scattered misogyny, bitterness, and frustration out there. Sites like Athol K's Married Man Sex Life and the Private Man take the Pick Up Artist game ("Game") and have adapted and refined to fit our modern world. For the aficionado or the student of male-female sexual dynamics, Game has become far, far more sophisticated than cheesy NLP-tainted pick-up lines and penny-draft night at the local college bar. Game has been extended into married life, into dating life, adapted for the on-line dating world, and proliferated by thousands of intelligent, curious, and ambitious practitioners.<br /><br />But that's just part of the story. The other part is technology, its evolution, and the role it plays in affecting the infinitely complex realm of male-female sexual dynamics. And so this is what I wrote as a reply:<br /><br /><blockquote>While it’s easy and fun to blame feminism for this, consider that the real culprit is simple technological change. The Sexual Revolution of the 60s and 70s wasn’t about feminism — feminism was a side-effect of the Revolution. The real revolution began in the 1940s when industrialization allowed women to make their own money. Then the second part happened in the 1960s when women got control of their reproductive systems (“the pill”). Taken together, reproductive control and financial independence encouraged the development of a more sophisticated feminism. So for a couple of decades afterwards, while men were scratching their balls and wondering whatheheck happened to the <span style="font-style:italic;">status quo</span> they’d been trained to deal with, women were developing a new approach to their sexuality, mating and marrying patterns. They were able to have their cake (sexual and financial independence) and eat it too (control of the social availability of sex).<br /><br />Sure, plenty of guys got laid back then, but the social end was a disaster. The WK and manginas capitulated because they thought begging for sex was the only game in town. The Alphas knew better, but they kept their mouths shut (mostly) and racked up pussy like it was on sale, rarely bothering to marry in fear of the exploding divorce statistics. For a few brief decades, women were on top: they had half the money and all the pussy, and they used both with gay abandon. The sense of entitlement, the feeling that just by virtue of possessing vaginas that they somehow “deserved” everything they got — sexually, socially and financially — started to become ingrained in mainstream female behavior, at least to the poor schmucks who were subjected to the fickle whims of femininity and liberalized divorce laws. By 1995, things were looking pretty grim for us menfolk.<br /><br />But then the Internet happened, in a big way.<br /><br />As much as I agree with the post about the Manosphere, that’s just the most recent counter-attack. Just as the pill and industrialization slanted things in favor of women, the internet levels the playing field, and not just with dating advice.<br /><br />Consider: <span style="font-style:italic;">it is now far easier for a man to find sex at a lower cost than at any other time in history.</span> And not just with the local village bicycle; with the power of global communications, he now theoretically has access to <span style="font-weight:bold;">every sexually available female on the planet</span>. Two decades ago the closest we came to that was the “mail order bride” catalogs, which only an insignificant fraction of men considered seriously. Now the dating sites and chat rooms can put you in touch with sexually available females from all over the world.<br /><br />In addition to that, cheating has become far, far easier to accomplish with a dramatically diminished risk. As has prostitution. Craig’s List hookups and the thousands of other dating/hookup/escort sites have allowed men access to a far, far greater pool of sexually available women, women for whom there is no lasting commitment. And let us not forget <a href="www.vidmail.com">internet porn (my own business):</a> when a dude can have access to any sexual fantasy for his whacking needs, he becomes far less likely to jump through hoops for a crappy, reluctant handjob in the car after a $300 6th date.<br /><br />So this has suddenly dramatically affected the competition cycle among women. After ruling the social/sexual scene for decades, suddenly the confused, limp-dicked men they were being so choosy about <span style="font-weight:bold;">stopped calling them back</span>. Beta husbands withdrew from their wives in favor of <a href="http://www.vidmail.com/">internet porn</a> or clandestine affairs, and there was a decade long period where divorces due to “porn addiction” were rampant. Women who thought they were competing with only the other women in their town had to come to terms with the idea that Mr. Right was out diddling some horny cougar and saving his money for fancy electronic toys, not building a dream house and seeking out the mother of his children. After a lifetime of calling the shots, just as a whole generation of women started hearing their biological clocks go off as they hit their stride in their careers, when they rolled over in bed to see the dude that was supposed to be there to inseminate them, the bed was empty.<br /><br />And so the outrage began among the 30-something and 40-something set who suddenly realized that they had a dozen eggs left and no sperm in sight. Men were pigs all over again. <a href="http://www.vidmail.com/">Internet porn </a>was “destroying lives”. Prostitution and clandestine affairs and “sex addiction” were collectively held up as the culprit, along with the idea that men were half-human savage beasts who just didn’t know how things should be done. The cry “where have all the good men gone?” was so loud that the answer <span style="font-style:italic;">(“you chased them all away or broke their dicks off”) </span>couldn’t be — <span style="font-style:italic;">wouldn’t</span> be — heard. So the middle-aged, career-minded woman who had built a solitary life for herself, expecting her perfect Beta Prince Charming to ride in, sweep her off her feet, knock her up good, and also pay all of the bills . . . was screwing a triple-divorced MILF who just wanted to get her rocks off. It was all OUR fault, that they couldn’t have a baby on their self-wrought timetable.<br /><br />And that’s where we are today. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Men have begun to realize their own value as sperm donors/lifestyle providers in a highly competitive field</span>, and — thanks to, you guessed it, feminism — they were beginning to look at the male-female sexual dynamic from the “what’s in it for me?” standpoint. Acknowledging that a woman’s primary drive was for security, and that our primary drive is for sex, even the dumb ones are starting to clue into the fact that if a girl doesn’t put out by the third date, it’s time to move on. Hell, I know plenty of dudes who won’t do a second date unless they get some on the first. The feminist-raised generation of women who felt entitled to a career first and a family later got beyatch-slapped with the specter of real competition.<br /><br />Because not only are they competing with all of the other desperate-to-reproduce women out there, they’re also competing with older women and younger women, both of whom have <span style="font-style:italic;">far</span> more liberal ideas about sex and their own sexual availability. Older women are jaded and over the playing-house stage and just want some dick. Younger women were brought up in a world where internet porn and over-the-top sexuality made stuff that only whores would do in their grandmother’s age part of the basic list of freshman-year sexual objectives. When you’re a 38 year old woman with an expiration date on your uterus and your sitting at the same bar (or dating site) as a horny cougar who doesn’t want commitment at one end and a horny twenty-something who views fellatio on the same par as a handshake at the other, just what the hell do you have to offer? Companionship? Dude can get a dog. Domestic skills? Let's be serious. A potentially disastrous relationship with a woman with immature and unrealistic ideas about romance and sex that will lead to an inevitably messy and expensive divorce, child support, and a lifetime of therapy? That's closer to the mark. <br /><br />Male sexual attraction breaks down between <span style="font-weight:bold;">physical desirability</span> and <span style="font-weight:bold;">sexual availability</span>. Traditionally what one didn’t have in one area one made up for in another. Professional middle-aged women have been making themselves up for the workplace, not the dating arena, for over 30 years, and most have only the barest ideas about how to go about it, usually gleaned from an article they read in Cosmo while they were on the john. And now that even working-class women can afford boob jobs, tummy-tucks and other cosmetic enhancements, <span style="font-style:italic;">what does that leave them?</span><br /><br />So yes, the Manosphere is a great and powerful force in the developing social-sexual interplay. But it’s only the latest in a long series of technological events, and should be viewed within that context to be properly appreciated.</blockquote>Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-75880322775837097932011-04-12T15:24:00.000-07:002011-04-12T15:28:33.212-07:00Dueling Sex Nerds: Yes, Emily Doods really ARE this . . .I’ve been having a fascinating discussion over at <a href="http://enagoski.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/are-doods-really-this/">the other Sex Nerd, Dr. Emily Nagoski’s site</a>, and while I was actually going to post this as a response, I figgered, y’know? I haven’t done a non-Charlie Sheen related post in a while, so here goes:<br /><br />The basic question began with Dr. Emily’s curiosity about whether or not a woman taking sex off the table right up front was a good idea, as the big sexual question mark that hangs over every male-female relationship is so incredibly distracting that it gets in the way of actually developing a relationship. A fair point. However, I pointed out that while I did feel it was a good idea, for completely different reasons, I mentioned that in doing so a woman fundamentally changes the nature of her relationship with the man in question, whether she means to or not. <br /><br /><blockquote>Let's bear in mind that Ian is happily married and this is all hypothetical or, at best, post hoc, so let's not holler at him please.</blockquote><br /><br />Thanks for that, Emily. I am, indeed, happily married, but I am not only a student of human nature, the author of a book on how to pick up women, but I’m a Sex Nerd. I do a lot of observation on this subject and talk to a lot of people. I’m not out to score myself -- Mrs. Ironwood has that well in hand. My issue here is not personal, I assure you, it is professional. But if you must yell . . . well, at least make it interesting. Back to Emily: <br /><br /><blockquote>But. This... would mean... a woman who wants a straight man to get to know her as a person has to create an environment where sex is perceived to be at least a theoretical possibility.</blockquote><br /><br />Well said.<br /><br />I’m not saying that every dude a woman meets is potential boyfriend material, or even a potential bedmate. What I’m saying is that the existence of this theoretical possibility has very little to do with any likelihood sex will occur. It has far more to do with how men deal with rejection, individually and collectively. <br /><br />This is going to be hard to explain to my XX audience, but if you ladies will bear with me a moment, this might be a valuable clue to masculine behavior you can take home with you. In my opinion, bouyed by my observations, adult straight men, no matter how strong of mind, noble of spirit, etc. etc., tend to put all women into three categories, and subtly alter their behavior accordingly. There’s the Class Of Women Who I’ve Slept With/Continue To Sleep With (feel free to substitute “be intimate with”, if you like), there’s the Class Of Women Who Might Potentially Sleep With Me, Theoretically, and finally there’s the Class Of Women Who Will Not/Can Not Sleep With Me. Pretty simple, huh? Well, we’re dudes. We like things simple.<br /><br />Now, membership in one class or another has nothing to do with the level of respect that a man pays to the woman in question. Your niece, your grandmother, your maiden aunt, the church ladies, the girl scout troop, all of these women are safely in the class of Women Who Will Not/Can Not, or they had better be unless you want some unpleasant jail time and national notoriety. For all practical purposes, for the adult male these females are Off Limits, and that’s OK. That doesn’t mean they aren’t people, that doesn’t mean they aren’t women, it means they’re in Category 3.<br /><br />Category One tends to be a wife or girlfriend, or perhaps several girlfriends and maybe a wife or two. Women that you have/can be intimate with. They are in a special place in your heart and mind, even if that place is a little seedy, but they are women who, psychologically, have provided the male in question with affirmation and personal security, not to mention some happy fun time, potentially children, and possibly an STD. Regardless of whether you love them or hate them, these are the women to whom most men treat specially. It’s a subtle difference, from any other category, but it’s there. <br /><br />Category Two? Everyone else. Theoretical “Fair Game”. In other words, Women Who Have Not Rejected You Yet. <br /><br />And that’s the heart of the matter. Even if sex is nevery spoken of, and the relationship between said man and said woman is entirely professional on both sides, to the male the “big question mark” is what establishes the mental status of the woman. It’s not even, “could I get into her pants, theoretically?” it’s “am I impressing her enough so that, say we were both stranded on a desert island, she would find me acceptable enough as a human being to want to be with me sexually?” <br /><br />It sounds silly, I know, but no more silly than the woman I knew who broke up with her fiancee because she didn’t like the way his last name sounded with her first name. And it’s important to point out that this all occurs at a subconscious level for most men -- we are so used to sublimating our sexual drives that we are often unaware of when and how they impel us. But when a man meets a woman in a social situation and the woman is exempt from categories One or Three, well, that means sex is on the table . . . theoretically. Or, at least the innate desire of men to display their sexual assets (not their big dicks, BTW) in terms of demonstrating competency, success, efficiency, control, strength, wisdom, humor, intelligence . . . you get the idea. When we meet a woman for the first time, that desire appears like a magical suit of armor. We’re polite, attentive, respectful, witty, and all those other things that we think will get girls. <br /><br />BUT . . . the moment that a woman moves categories, that perspective goes away.<br /><br />Here’s an example: I used to work in an all-female office, surrounded by women all day long (I was a secretary). I got along with everyone, about six women in all, ages ranging from my mother’s age to just-out-of-college. One of my co-workers, let’s call her Jill, was particularly funny and intelligent, and I flirted as outrageously as 1990s era sexual harassment in the South would let you get away with. I was already engaged to my wife, so there was no serious issue -- just me being my usual charming self, and Jill being her charming self.<br /><br />Then came the day that one of my other co-workers let slip that Jill was, in fact, completely gay. That wasn’t a problem for me, understand, as I had not only been raised in the Lesbian Capital Of The South, my spiritual leader was a dyke and I had plenty of lesbian friends. I’m completely comfortable around lesbians, so Jill being gay didn’t bother me at all. But the fact that her status had changed in my mind wasn’t completely apparent until a few weeks later, when Jill tracked me down and demanded to know why I was mad at her.<br /><br />I was surprised -- I wasn’t mad at her at all. But she pointed out several little things that I used to do that I didn’t do anymore -- flirting, jokes, some of the camaraderie -- Jill thought I was mad at her, and even wondered if being gay was part of it (although that was the first time she, personally, had mentioned it to me). And she was right. My behavior had changed, and being gay was part of it, but not because I’m homophobic. My behavior changed because Jill’s status had changed, from “A Woman Who Hasn’t Rejected Me Yet” to “A Woman Firmly In Category 3 (non-sex protocols ONLY)”. I gave it some serious consideration -- I don’t take such things lightly -- and I finally had to go back to her with this:<br /><br />“Jill, I like you a lot, and you’re a good friend and a wonderful person. But the fact is, men in general have a hard time with rejection, and when I’m faced with your lesbianism, it’s not that I begrudge you anything at all -- it’s just that you’ve essentially rejected my entire gender, and due to that my behavior toward you changed, because my feelings toward you have changed.”<br /><br />She thought that was joking, at first, and then when she realized I was serious, she got upset. How dare I use her sexual identification to single her out, was I so petty and stupid as to let her relative fuckability determine the course of our friendship, how could I be that mean, etc. etc. It took about two weeks to get her calmed down to discuss the issue rationally again. But I was persistent -- I liked Jill. I considered her a friend and a valuable co-worker. But I couldn’t flirt with her anymore, or give her anymore personal intimacy than I would extend to a male friend. While my level of courtesy never lapsed, my willingness to pay attention to the details of her life and share my own with her diminished. It was as if my White Knight, Impress The Girls armor was invisible to her. <br /><br />Did I cheat myself out of a good friendship by doing this? Perhaps. I certainly didn’t help me get laid one way or another. But the more I thought about it, the more I recognized the truth of my feelings. When a woman rejects you, or (more rarely) is rejected by you, her status changes. When Jill’s status changed, on the one hand I no longer felt the subtle pressure to impress her with who I was, for one thing. On the other hand, lunch was always a little more tense after that. Eventually Jill got used to this change in my status, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t get me to flirt anymore. There was just . . . no point. <br /><br />I struggled with this a long time, and the issue re-occurred a few years later when my wife’s best friend came out as definitely-not-straight. She was more irate than Jill over my sudden disinterest, and I felt even worse about that. But once again, it came down to a matter of rejection. Personal or wholesale, rejection strikes to the heart of men’s souls, and we will do just about anything to avoid it -- even avoid women in favor of porn, sometimes. As Warren Farrel points out, when faced with rejection, men turn to objectification to lessen the sting. Enough sting, and you get a dude who seriously ready to objectify. And that means removing your vulnerable self from the area of potential injury, among other things. When your girlfriend breaks up with you, you don’t move in next door (unless you have bigger issues). When the nice girl in the office turns you down for a date, you can relax a little because you know where you stand with her, and you don’t have to worry about impressing her any more. <br /><br />And when the intelligent, witty, highly-educated and charming woman you just met at a book signing lets you know that while she finds you interesting, intriguing, funny and charming . . . that there is absolutely no possibility of sex on the table . . . you have her make it out to “Charlie, all the best” and you move on.<br /><br />It’s not a character flaw in men, nor is it, I believe, entirely a cultural artifact. If it was, then we would see its absence in some human cultures. Indeed, I’m entirely open to the idea that there exists somewhere a naturally occurring culture where men and women can leave sex off the table and still proceed with friendship and even intimacy apace . . . but I haven’t found it yet. You can blame it on men if you have to, but I contend that that’s who we are, part of the character of masculinity, and not a character flaw. <br /><br />Emily continues:<br /><br /><blockquote>And...<br />(1) Nearly all of my closest friends have been men, and it never occurred to me that this might be true.</blockquote><br /><br />Ask ‘em. You might be surprised by their opinions. If they’re truthful.<br /><br /><blockquote>(2) This is exactly the sort of thing I tell my students is a cultural myth but isn't actually true - men, I want to tell my students, are not actually dick-driven simpletons incapable of recognizing a woman's personhood in the absence of sexual access to that woman.</blockquote><br /><br />Have to stop you there, Emily. I find your characterisation of men in this context to be unfairly biased. How about “constantly sexually aware and socially astute mature adults who are informed and guided by their ability to distinguish between viable and non-viable partners and tailor their behavior and decisions accordingly”. I mean, no one would try to deny your personhood if you took sex off the table right up front. On the other hand, I will testify that most men, in that situation, are unlikely to extend any further interest towards you not dictated by manners or an ulterior motive. Once sex is off the table, your status changes, and once your status changes in a man’s mind, unless he REALLY enjoys a challenge and is seriously grooving on you despite your protests, he’s going to find someone with whom he can not only enjoy a pleasant evening with, but also engage in sweaty monkey sex. That’s not denying personhood, that’s moving on to greener pastures.<br /><br /><blockquote><br />and<br /><br />(3) Well, if this is true, it goes some distance in explaining why I've been single since 2005. When I used to the "let's have sex to get the question out of the way" strategy, I had relationships - relationships that ENDED, let's be clear, but relationships. Since adopting the "we're not going to be having sex anytime soon because I really do need to get to know you first, no matter how attractive you are" strategy, I have not had one relationship.</blockquote><br /><br />My professional sex-nerd opinion? You hit the nail on the head. “We aren’t going to ever have sex” is great news for both parties, but it essentially closes off huge swaths of possibilities, pre-limiting the nature and intensity of the relationship. When you say that, you are essentially “pre-rejecting” a man. He might still respect you as a human being, a professional, and a woman . . . but what incentive does he have to spend time with you and cultivate an intimate relationship when you’ve already put the most important aspect of intimacy out of reach? No matter how engaging the prospect of a platonic relationship, it’s never going to have the draw of a potentially sexual relationship to a man. <br /><br /><blockquote><br />Now, I have no trouble creating an environment where sex is viewed as a possibility - all I have to do is NOT say "sex is not going to happen in the foreseeable future," and my job takes care of the rest. So perhaps my best potential strategy is to say, "We're not going to have sex in the foreseeable future UNLESS you successfully seduce me, and I am a challenge to seduce because I know so much about the game that I am the fucking Magister Ludi of seduction; in order to play with me you have to play a META-game, you have to improvise a new game with me, in the moment. Go."</blockquote><br /><br />Personally? I think that’s your best bet. A man will respond to a challenge better than being given a dead-end. If he thinks he’s up to the task, me might surprise you. More than likely, he’ll reveal himself to be an unimaginative and unlearned lover. But if he does surprise you by meeting your very high bar, then consider the potential magic in that union. And you probably do come across as a little intimidating to dudes, Emily, thanks to your job. Not many men would have the confidence or self-reliance to even attempt that level of seduction, much less the talent and the intelligence.<br /><br /><blockquote>[quote]will a straight man be less likely to want to get to know her? If not, why is this a cultural narrative? If so, does the same hold for gay men getting to know men? And if it is true, what's a girl to do?</blockquote><br /><br />All fair questions, Emily, which is why I wrote the post. Whether or not it’s a cultural narrative would demand examining disparate human sexual cultures and comparing and contrasting -- no easy task. But from my crude observations and conversations with men in other cultures, my gut feeling is that this is not a Western Culture thing. I’m more than willing to alter my opinion if there are some convincing arguments, but at this point I’m sticking to the “That’s how men are . . . sorry, better get used to it” line. Because I do think that men possess a more active set of sexual impulses than women, as a rule, and I think that it’s what makes us get up in the morning, talk to pretty girls, beat up saber-toothed tigers, make lunch for the kids, and be kind to old ladies. Without that impulse then we turn inwards, climb into the inner recesses of our mother’s basement, and stay there until they turn the internet off.<br /><br />Is it different for gay guys? I’m not the one to ask, but it’s a very intriguing question. <br /><br />And what’s a girl to do? Smile and have good posture. And hope the next dude who chats you up in a bar is more interested in what you have to say than what his penis has to say. I mean, there’s always a chance . . . <br /><br />Thanks for letting me play, Emily! I truly do love your blog and respect your professional opinion. But on this one, I’m going to hold my position.Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-91146010677400169332011-03-02T08:26:00.000-08:002011-03-02T11:44:14.339-08:00Bree Olson and Charlie Sheen: Tigerblood And The Making Of A Love Goddess<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAgeZFoUgwinXOMaCpH5MZeaGXhcIThofrh9IDaBIxA_gLPYT1pQ15coFoBhlG4vdqGljHpWRsBLtQ-6v-RkHG2riznynetn9I2XJm-s-8nNc_j5tEtV1BTnDeqLMtM27bsrEOb8tSWaW2/s1600/bree+1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 183px; height: 276px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAgeZFoUgwinXOMaCpH5MZeaGXhcIThofrh9IDaBIxA_gLPYT1pQ15coFoBhlG4vdqGljHpWRsBLtQ-6v-RkHG2riznynetn9I2XJm-s-8nNc_j5tEtV1BTnDeqLMtM27bsrEOb8tSWaW2/s400/bree+1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5579539742820009218" /></a>When you work in the porn industry, it’s always a little vicarious thrill to see one of our own intrude into the mainstream world, something that’s happening with a lot of frequency now that we’re all aTwitter and porn itself is becoming mainstream. Lately, pornstars have been in the mainstream news in all sorts of ways, from Stormy Daniels’ consideration of a possible gubernatorial run, to <a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-whos-nailin-paylin-dvd-5098.aspx">Lisa Ann's devastating parody of Sarah Palin</a>, to <a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-tylers-wood-dvd-5597.aspx">Tiger Woods’ multiple trysts with pornstars</a> . . . and now we have official <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2011/SHOWBIZ/TV/03/02/charlie.sheen.sons/index.html?eref=mrss_igoogle_cnn">Hollywood Bad Boy (and star of the tepid Two And A Half Men sitcom on CBS, where he presumably plays one of the complete men -- sorry, haven't watched it. Porn beckons . . . ) Charlie Sheen </a>stealing away someplace tropical with a hot blonde graphic designer and <span style="font-weight:bold;">former Adam & Eve Contract Star Bree Olson.</span><br /><br />I’ve interviewed Bree, and she’s a sweet girl. Not only is she a great performer with an incredible body and a lot of enthusiasm for the work, but she has a girl-next-door smile that just <span style="font-style:italic;">beams</span>. Like many in the industry, she wasn’t at the top of her graduating class – and she’s had her share of personal trauma – but she was also an outstanding performer and represented one of the world’s premier Adult brands for three years (incidentally, Adam & Eve turns 40 this year . . . no, really!).<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><u><br /></u></span></div><br />After she left the big label, she moved on to do some work for other houses, including one I’m eagerly anticipating. It’s rumored that she starred in the New Sensations’ yet-to-be-released adult parody of <span style="font-weight:bold;">Buffy The Vampire Slayer</span>. And according to reports, she is, at this point, “retired” from the industry so that she can spend more time with her new “family”: actor Charlie Sheen and graphic designer Natalie Kenly.<br /><br />It’s one of those whacky Hollywood style polyandrous relationships that are doomed to be temporary, but I can’t fault Sheen: Bree is a hottie, and you just have to appreciate a girl who has wanted to be a porn star since she was a child. No. Really. Bree really does love sex that much, especially anal sex, and her aspirations have been for porn stardom since before it was wholesome for a young lady to consider that as a proper career. She loves what she does on camera. She really is a sex goddess, and as “special” as Charlie Sheen is, I’m sure they’re both benefiting from the unconventional relationship. Bree gets international attention and a fabulous island vacation with a notorious Hollywood star (and a smokin’ hot graphic designer – Bree doesn’t mind munchin’ muff) and Charlie . . . gets a piece of Bree.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDXPJ3H1UHeTe8_na4ftUrG6PpEg3UQ311uEgFv1_K1DOwRpyBK9Dgz2fktUsM0P7bCTvyRQqqX_W7yi1IobVZ4FcLLg-V0Rwy85E78t_pkZbwqv77FnuWUUeX92FOO9A9qfAqkfI3NeUc/s1600/bree+3.bmp"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 114px; height: 171px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDXPJ3H1UHeTe8_na4ftUrG6PpEg3UQ311uEgFv1_K1DOwRpyBK9Dgz2fktUsM0P7bCTvyRQqqX_W7yi1IobVZ4FcLLg-V0Rwy85E78t_pkZbwqv77FnuWUUeX92FOO9A9qfAqkfI3NeUc/s400/bree+3.bmp" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5579540017104730738" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />Next month the relationship will have exploded because of the media pressure, and Bree will be in even higher demand – expect her to come out of retirement shortly after the chaos of the celebrity break-up recedes – but more importantly, she will have escaped the porn ghetto and entered the much glitzier world of paparazzi and A-list name recognition. Because after this week, everyone in Hollywood will know who Bree Olson is. At least by name.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB5q9iGzduAucqDzs6t61ivq1ZJx7VEEiKBXPShs2q_snMunG6Fl7nopuK7E0b8nOGnIN7I1ACoegTuvKfcp46aVX24ebOWHLd50PlsUQklvlagMvLay82RWb9GXTTMX6GngO4R7FZrIEj/s1600/bree+5.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 194px; height: 259px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB5q9iGzduAucqDzs6t61ivq1ZJx7VEEiKBXPShs2q_snMunG6Fl7nopuK7E0b8nOGnIN7I1ACoegTuvKfcp46aVX24ebOWHLd50PlsUQklvlagMvLay82RWb9GXTTMX6GngO4R7FZrIEj/s400/bree+5.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5579540193647673426" /></a><br /><br />But if you’re really interested, here’s a selection of Bree’s work. This is the ass that Sheen’s a-tappin’ in some of her greatest hits:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/big-boobs-sex/sp-big-tit-bangers-1084.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Big Tit Bangers 2</span>:</a> One of Bree’s earlier scenes. Real Girl Next Door look.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/lesbian-porn-videos/sp-bree-kayden-4857.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bree & Kayden</span></a>: Bree enjoying some sapphic girl time with A&E's other contract star at the time, Kayden Kross. Great girl-on-girl, and I'm sure it's a taste of some of what Charlie is enjoying. Unlike some performers, Bree's perfectly comfortable getting intimate with another chick . . .<br /><br />. . . which brings us to <a href="http://www.vidmail.com/sp-bree-sasha-1406.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bree & Sasha</span></a>, with Euro brunette superstar Sasha Grey. If Charlie's getting some blonde-on-blonde, check out some of this deliciously sensual blonde-on-brunette -- the contrasts of body types is intriguing, and the two performers are very, very good at what they do.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-bree-exposed-dvd-5440.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bree Exposed</span></a>: Just good ol' fashioned porn, featuring a really choice anal spooning scene with veteran cocksman Tommy Gunn. Nice work.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/sp-bree-olsons-the-five-dvd-5271.aspx"><b>Bree Olson: The Five</b></a>: A powerhouse porn-diva collection! Bree headlines and welcomes Alexis Texas, Sasha Grey, Shyla Stylez, and Jenna Haze in a showcase performance! Is it any good? At the time that this was shot in 2009, the ladies had 15 AVN Awards between them. They have more now.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-brees-anal-invasion-dvd-5454.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bree's Anal Invasion</span></a>: Don't expect a lot of plot, but if you're into ass, this won't disappoint! Bree has always been a passionate up-the-butt girl, and she puts her ass to the test in this one. Charlie's a lucky dude. And from what Bree told me, the back door is always open.<br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhU3AYs7aaMZLTWJYR33VEsrp43-8JXAwzBC0lBb4GZAHZTirJHfNJrbFhOD1DF4VHEIOmQMCVpqXxdkt1SFap4WplgIrh_WG1LpVaVkcIbx5K8yV6KWLpZzSXp1UiivZSZUx7ciVzLT3j/s400/bree+6.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 183px; height: 276px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5579540347626854930" /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/mail.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-brees-college-daze-3061.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bree's College Daze</span></a>: One of the first of Bree's hits. Hot college sorority girl sex. Tell me she wasn't typecast. Every sorority has a girl like Bree in it.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-brees-college-daze-dvd-5315.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bree's College Daze 2</span></a>: Because just one semester of college isn't enough! Bree's back on campus, and back on her back, and on her knees, and . . .<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-brees-slumber-party-4918.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bree's Slumber Party</span></a>: Perhaps Charlie Sheen's doing a sequel? Also stars superhotties Penny Flame and Kayden Kross.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-brees-slumber-party-4918.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Carolina Jones and the Broken Covenant</span></a>: Back before the parody craze really took off, this oft-overlooked and underrated flick stars Ava Rose as Carolina Jones (Adam & Eve is in North Carolina) was one of Bree's first "big time porn" productions. Bree Olson stars as the spunky blonde sidekick, and yes, you may interpret that any way that you would like. It's hot. It's violent (not the sex, the plot -- sex is great!). Good date night fare, and one of Bree's earlier works.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/sp-down-dirty-with-bree-olson-dvd-5068.aspx"><b>Down & Dirty With Bree Olson</b></a>: Bree gets down. Bree gets dirty. Bree takes an awful lot of dick up her ass. Four hours of one Bree scene after another, including some interracial. Girl is nasty, in a good way.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-eden-1444.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Eden</span></a>: This was an important film, one of the first Bree did with Adam & Eve Pictures as a contract girl, and the last one that Adam & Eve Pictures' outgoing contract girl, Carmen Luvana, starred in. Bree does a great anal 3-way, and the lush tropical settings, intense sexual performances and a staggering 10 full-length scenes make this a good addition to your collection in its own right.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/sp-everybody-loves-bree-dvd-5025.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Everybody Loves Bree</span></a>: Well, pretty much. Charlie Sheen's a fan, of Bree, of course, and even if Natalie Kenly is a little reluctant to do a girl, you have to admit, even if you were averse to lesbian pursuits, Bree's a pretty hot chick to eat out. This flick will show you why.<br /><br /><b><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/lesbian-porn-videos/sp-hot-cherry-pies-3530.aspx">Hot Cherry Pies 4</a>:</b> Bree's an open bisexual, and this quick and dirty little lesbo flick shows her "dining at the Y" with gusto! And with 30 girls, I'm sure you can find a couple you like.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/interracial-sex-dvds/sp-long-dong-black-kong-4860.aspx"><b>Long Dong Black Kong</b></a>: Bree Olson takes Justin Long's really, really, really big dick in an intense interracial tryst. She's got a soft spot for the brothas, Charlie, watch her around Chris Rock.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-roller-dollz-1405.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Roller Dollz</span></a>: Bree Olson and a pack of super-hot sex kittens on roller skates at roller derby bouts. A joint production between Adam & Eve Pictures and Zero Tolerance (which usually sticks to straight-up gonzo fare), this adorable flick blew me away. Highly recommended.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-solostravaganza-dvd-5268.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Solostravaganza 4</span></a>: This 2-disc set put Bree on the cover and sales took off. Want to see Bree take a honeymoon in her hand? This is the place.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-sunshine-highway-4739.aspx"><b>Sunshine Highway</b></a>: One of the first pictures Bree did for Adam & Eve, and a worthy effort. She's got wholesome dripping off of her like beads of sweat, even when she's getting screwed in the ass. That's a rare talent.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-the-th-day-dvd-5433.aspx"><b>The 8th Day</b></a>: Post holocaust sex. Bree has one scene in this movie. It was shot right around the time her grandmother died, so it's not her best work.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/sp-the-girls-of-adam-eve-dvd-5214.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Girls Of Adam & Eve</span></span></a>: All of AEP's contract girls from over the years in their best scenes, including one of Bree's best. Great way to put her work in perspective against the larger evolution of porn at the nation's most prestigious adult movie institutions. Plus, if Charlie Sheen had any theoretical higher ground to his fantasy life, this would be it. Imagine being on a tropical island with all of these babes?<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/adult-features/sp-the-naughty-co-ed-caper-2628.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Naughty Co-ed Caper</span></a>: Bree's in school but she has a tuition problem (gee, maybe in one of these movies the girls could just fill out a financial aid form . . . nahhhh!) so she turns to crime, robbing banks naked. No, really. Hey, it's porn. It's what we do.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/sp-the-surrender-of-o-dvd-2720.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Surrender Of O</span></a>: It's a big step when a new contract girl takes over a successful franchise. It's twice as big when the franchise is based on a porn classic. The sequel to the hit O: The Power Of Submission, starring veteran contract star Carmen Luvana, Bree handled this important flick with a lot of style. It's BDSM, although aficianaods might find it a little on the light side. Still, Bree does a great job in a difficult medium with the help of Ava Rose and Kayden Kross.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/sp-watch-your-back-dvd-2497.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Watch Your Back 2</span></a>: Straight-up wholesome gonzo anal porn like grandpa used to watch.<br /><br /><b><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-whale-tails-sex-video-pack-3126.aspx">Whale Tale</a>:</b> With ass-centric footage shot before she signed with AEP, Bree's cover shot here announced her presence with authority and got her a whole lot of attention. I mean, she's got one of the best asses in the biz, and she loves to use it.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-the-a-team-xxx-a-parody-dvd-5942.aspx"><span style="font-weight:bold;">The A Team: A XXX Parody</span></a>: Bree is the female lead in this surprisingly good parody (<a href="http://thesexnerd.blogspot.com/2010/06/when-plan-cums-together-a-team-xxx.html">see full review here</a>) in which she plays Amy, the only chick in the original series. While her role in the plot is small, her scene doing "Cannibal" (Randy Spears) is delicious! <br /><br /><a href="http://www.vidmail.com/xxx-porn/sp-brees-big-screw-review-dvd-5501.aspx">Bree's Big Screw Review</a>: Bree reviews some porn movies, and gets to screw Tommy Gunn.<br /><br />NotThe Bionic Woman And The Six Million Dollar Man : Bree plays Lindsy Summers, the Bionic Woman. I'm sure you can guess which parts of her are bionic . . . <br /><br /><br />That's a good start to Bree Olson 101. Here's the extra credit.<br /><br />Bree's a fun girl, as Charlie is finding out -- but did you know how many marshmallows she can stuff in her mouth at one time?<br /><br /><iframe width="425" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/KzcD_SxFhh0?fs=1" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe> (Vs. Kayden Kross)<br /><br /><br /><iframe width="425" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/00zhkDOAF_s?fs=1" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe><br /><br /><br /><blockquote><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bree Olson's Bio:<br /><br />Name: Bree Olson<br />Birthdate: 10/11/1987<br />Hometown: Fort Wayne, IN<br />Height: 5' 3"<br />Bust Size: 34D<br />Studio: Independent<br />Bio:<br />IN-DEPTH PROFILE:<br /><br />Bree Olson erupted on the adult movie scene in 2006, and was an Adam & Eve contract star from 2007 to 2010. Beautiful big boobs, a round and sexy ass, and a smile that lights up a room like fireworks combine to make Bree Olson one of the hottest performers and a true fan favorite! Known for her exuberant performances, there’s no denying one thing about the gorgeous blonde bombshell: she’s always HORNY! With no fake excitement in her scenes in the slightest – Bree is just happy having sex, the raunchier the better!<br />Bree is openly bisexual, and is equally excited about girl-girl and boy-girl shoots. She also loves anal – loves it! – and enjoys working with a variety of performers. Everybody loves working with Bree – she has a reputation on set for having a warm heart and a sunny disposition. She’s a cat person – Dr. Sniffles – and loves animals, being very involved with animal charities.<br /><br />A Libra born in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, she’s of Ukrainian descent, and credits her late Ukrainian grandmother as one of her biggest influences.<br /><br />Bree made the decision early on to work in the adult industry, starting with dancing and photo shoots before moving on into gonzo and feature work. She was Penthouse Pet Of The Month in March, 2008. Her attitude and early performances garnered plenty of attention, and in 2007 she stepped into the role of a full-fledged contract star for one of the biggest adult film production houses, Adam & Eve Pictures. She has starred in almost 150 adult flicks, thus far. She was named Best New Web Starlet by AVN in 2009, Best New Starlet in 2008, and Best Anal Sex Scene in 2008.</span></blockquote><br /><br /><br />And that's the thing: Bree's a fun girl, and she's having a good time with a big celebrity. She's worked hard at her career, and if this is where she's happiest, I'm sincerely happy. I hope she enjoys her mainstream fame, and is able to leverage it into something worthwhile.<br /><br />But in the meantime, she's given us an impressive body of work.<br /><br />Of her impressive body at work.<br /><br /><br />UPDATE: Tigerblood!<br /><br />I've talked a lot about Bree (who now prefers "Rach" off-screen), but what about Charlie? I've been a hypernerdy fan of his since <span style="font-weight:bold;">Red Dawn</span> ("WOLVERINES!") the lurid 80s tale about a post apocalyptic resistance group to a Communist invasion, not to mention <span style="font-weight:bold;">Platoon</span> and Wall Street, and while I haven't quite forgiven him for Men At Work, even compared to Bree he's a pretty decent performer in his own right. But that's not what I like about him . . . it's the <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">TIGERBLOOD!</span></span><br /><br />That's the innate Sheenesque quality of pure manly bravado and masculine chutzpah that decides, hey, I'm a passionate guy and here are not one but two really, really hot blondes who love me and want to sleep with me, so . . . WHY THE HELL NOT? Tigerblood is what makes a man a man. Need to get a couple of six-packs on the way home.<br /><br />But it's also the reason that Charlie gave for his sexually aggressive lifestyle and occasionally outrageous (or misunderstood) behavior -- and who can blame him? He's the highest paid actor on TV, he's dating a porn star AND a graphic designer, he has two beautiful boys by another beautiful woman . . . I mean, why does Charlie suddenly have to be the role model for America's Youth . . . when he can allow America's Middle Aged the chance to live vicariously through him?<br /><br />Keep it up, Tigerblood. You're Still Winning!Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-77419816358745768072011-02-07T13:01:00.000-08:002011-02-07T13:06:31.960-08:00"Dear Ian . . . "Had another surprise question for me to give the benefit of my vast sexual wisdom on:<br /><br /><blockquote>Dear Ian, <br /><br />[W]e have been married for 12 years, known each other for 14. Our kids are stil small not in school yet. Where we live you dont get baby [sitters] and [we have] no family near us. So the kids are with us 24/7. My husband start[s] work early in the morning, he gets up at 4 so he gets to bed early at night. We dont have that extra money to go out on the town. So we are home prety much. Advice please!<br /><br />Need Sex Badly</blockquote><br /><br />Dear Ms. Badly, <br /><br /><br />You don't need a sitter. You don't need night clubs. All you need is a little imagination and creativity.<br /><br />By this time in your relationship, you've done all the "normal" things, you know what you should be doing (theoretically) but yes, you've lost some spark. The issue about the difference between talking and communicating is a relative one, but if you can both agree to make a special effort on your relationship, it's not too difficult to spice things up.<br /><br />Let's start with the remoteness of your location and the inability to get a sitter. No doubt you're also worried about making too much noise and waking up the children. There are a couple of simple things you can do to take your intimate life up a notch.<br /><br />First, <span style="font-weight:bold;">get it out of the bedroom</span>. Sometimes staring at the marital bed in anticipation of sex leads to some severe performance anxiety on both parties part as they start to worry about disappointing their spouses. Stop that mood in its tracks by inviting your husband into the shower (after you've already done the "business" of shaving and other personal hygiene stuff) and at least start your foreplay under the water, with some good-smelling lotions, soaps, etc. Heck, give him a salt scrub or something, he might like it. It's intimate, it's sexy, it's quiet, it's kid-free, and there's no mess to clean up.<br /><br />Another tactic is to wake him up in the middle of the night, whisper in his ear that his girlfriend is going to be waiting in the driveway, grab the baby monitor, and scoot out to the car to have sex. Sure, it's uncomfortable -- especially when you know you have a nice warm bed inside -- plus there's the "danger of discovery" element, but those challenges are just the sort of thing you need to keep things interesting. <span style="font-weight:bold;"> Married sex becomes boring partially because it's easy.</span> If you want to be even more daring, in warmer weather pitch a tent in the back yard. Spontaneous garage/attic nookie is also quite exciting.<br /><br />You could try instigating a sex game. Nothing elaborate: just play Tag. Make a deal with your husband that one of you is 'it' at the start of the day, and when you're 'it' you are responsible for surprising your spouse with a few minutes of groping, kissing and foreplay in whatever stolen moment you can find out of the kids' view. Afterwards, the other person is 'it'. By then end of the day you'll both be pretty worked up.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The issue is you aren't putting enough "play" in your sex play. </span> That's an easy thing for married parents to do, as the stresses and structure of married-life-with-kids taxes our patience and sanity on a daily basis. We'd like to think that the pleasures offered in the marital bed would alleviate that, but by the time we usually collapse at the end of the day, the spirit is willing but, crap, isn't <span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">House</span></span> on tonight? <br /><br />Parental responsibility often robs us of our own willingness to play, and as adults we <span style="font-style:italic;">desperately</span> need that. I think you'll both relax and the communication will flow more naturally once you genuinely enjoy the playful aspects of sex. Costumes and toys can help, but too many people misunderstand their place. You can't buy a toy and expect your sex life to turn around. You need to make consistent effort, risk failures that you're willing to laugh about, and be willing to explore some places outside of your comfort zone.<br /><br />Good luck!<br /><br />IanIan Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-90566843796108474032011-01-07T08:54:00.000-08:002011-01-07T09:19:10.108-08:00The AVN Awards: Best Feature Edition<div>If there’s a pile of dry Christmas trees piling up on the curb, maxed-out credit card bills in the mailbox and the dreary consolation of the Superbowl right around the corner, it can only mean one thing: it’s time for the annual <b>AVN Adult Expo</b>!</div><div><br /></div><div>The arguably most important Adult Industry event of the year takes place every year in early January in Las Vegas, in conjunction with the <b>Consumer Electronics Show </b>– a double whammy if you’re a Sex Nerd. </div><div><br /></div><div>I attended for the first time last year, and I have to admit my mind was blown on a number of levels for a number of reasons. Everything from sales booths for local brothels to a plexi-glass trailer with a dance pole inside to a $7,000 translucent alien sex doll (no, I’m <i>not</i> exaggerating) – and that doesn’t mention all the performers and industry insiders I got to meet (including Serious Porn Crush Girl <b>Aurora Snow</b>, among others!). I'm pretty jaded about most things sexual at this point (but no less fascinated), but when you're a bit of a freak and you stand around with your jaw open thinking to yourself "DAMN, that's <i>freaky!</i>", well, you know you've Arrived.</div><div><br /></div><div>But I digress. The highlight of the show, and therefore the Porn industry year, is definitely the <b>AVN Awards</b> show. It’s similar to the Oscars, only instead of “Best Supporting Actress” you get “Best Anal Scene” . . . and instead of four or five nominees per category, there are <i>scads</i>. The affair is always terribly hyped, plagued with industry shenanigans, and lasts <i>freakin’ forever</i>, but if you had to draw a circle around the Best Porn on Earth, well, this would be one place to start.</div><div><br /></div><div>The show is particularly important for the big producers, because the awards showcase their best work. Ironically the esteemed <b>Best Feature</b> category, still the most important, financially, to the producers, actually represents only a minority of the Pornoverse these days. The domination of all-sex gonzo strokefodder since the early 1990s has all but killed the idea of a sex movie with a plot and characters, however badly acted and scripted. It’s just a lot simpler to hire five or six girls and a couple of studs and knock out a weekend wonder than it is to actually pay attention to things like context. The expense of producing a feature is so much higher than a gonzo flick that only a dozen or so production houses make the effort anymore. If it hadn’t been for the recent parody craze, it’s possible that the feature porn flick would die a slow and lingering death.</div><div><br /></div><div>But those features are de facto showcases of a studio’s ability to attract talented performers and directors and turn out something resembling entertainment. They may not break even on their own, necessarily, but a nomination for Best Feature can add a lot of buzz to one and hype sales. Consider the <b>Adam & Eve/Digital Playground</b> visual masterpiece <i><b><a href="http://www.videogoldmembers.com/shop-by-type/features/sp-pirates-2011.aspx">Pirates</a>,</b></i> one of the most expensive porn flicks ever made, which not only kicked ass in regular retail sales but also made a lot of bucks in the softcore Skinimax version. A winning feature can put a production studio on the map . . . or save one from bankruptcy.</div><div><br /></div><div>This year’s contenders for Best Feature include no less than <i>fifteen entrants</i>, and while I haven’t seen them all over the course of the last year, there are some noteworthy contenders for the prize you might want to check out:</div><div><br /></div><div><b><a href="http://www.videogoldmembers.com/sp-awakening-to-love-dvd-5623.aspx"><i>Awakening To Love</i>, New Sensations</a>.</b> A porn flick about coma patients. No, really.</div><div><br /></div><div><b><a href="http://www.videogoldmembers.com/shop-by-type/features/sp-body-heat-5695.aspx"><i>Body Heat</i>, Digital Playground</a></b>. Busty blonde firefighters who screw between calls. No, really.</div><div><br /></div><div><b><a href="http://www.videogoldmembers.com/shop-by-type/sp-the-condemned-5632.aspx"><i>The Condemned</i>, Vivid</a></b>. Lesbian revenge gang knocking off bad ex boyfriends. <i>Nice.</i></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://www.videogoldmembers.com/sp-the-devil-in-miss-jones-resurrection-dvd-5524.aspx"><b><i>The Devil In Miss Jones: The Resurrection</i>, Vivid</b>.</a> The latest trip to the well for this franchise is actually pretty good. While there’s bare homage to the original classic, the story line – about the damned Miss Jones reincarnating as a pretty journalist – is interesting, and the sex is hot.</div><div><br /></div><div><b><i>Fatally Obsessed, </i>After Dark/West Coast.</b> One of the few all-black features to be produced – which should make it eligible for Best Feature on that basis alone. However Fatally Obsessed skips the all-black clichés of gang violence, ghetto culture, and making it big in show bidness for a more mainstream plot: Successful black couple move to the suburbs, crazed real estate agent stalks hunky hubby – hilarity ensues. With an all-star all-black cast, this is the (pardon the pun) dark horse competitor in this contest. But even if it doesn’t win, I think it’s outstanding that a) someone is doing all-black features that b) don’t play into every sexual and cultural stereotype. Call it Buppie Porn, if you like, but it’s a good flick no matter how you classify it.</div><div><br /></div><div><b><i>Malice In LaLaland, </i>Miss Lucifer<i>.</i></b> Starring Sasha Grey, this dark version of the Lewis Carrol classic puts Malice in an insane asylum. Beautifully shot on 35mm film, performances and scenes are artfully hot. Another dark horse, but a shiny one.</div><div><br /></div><div><b><a href="http://www.videogoldmembers.com/specialinterestamateurs/sp-an-open-invitation-a-real-swingers-party-dvd-5611.aspx"><i>An Open Invitation: A Real Swinger’s Party in San Francisco, </i>Private. </a></b> Traditionally a “Euro” production company, this scalding-hot feature is part fantasy, part documentary. With a cast of hundreds of amateurs and professionals, it got AVN’s highest rating and a special letter of recommendation from the editor. Consider this a strong favorite to win.</div><div><br /></div><div><b><a href="http://www.videogoldmembers.com/shop-by-type/sp-pornstar-superheroes-dvd-5545.aspx"><i>Pornstar Superheroes</i>, Elegant Angel.</a></b> Instead of just parodying a superhero movie – a worthy task in its own right – Elegant Angel put together an original superhero flick starring four lusty super-powered heroines, results of a Cold War era military experiment. Action-packed and entertaining, outstanding performances by Asa Akira, Kristina Rose, Tori Black and Sadie West, consider this an outside favorite to win.</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://www.videogoldmembers.com/shop-by-type/multipacks/sp-rawhide-ii-dirty-deeds-dvd-5336.aspx"><b><i>Rawhide 2: Dirty Deeds, </i>Adam & Eve.</b> </a> The long-awaited sequel to one of A&E’s earlier hits, Rawhide 2 is a modern-day western starring contract stars Bree Olson and Kayden Kross in some of their final work for the company. Busty blondes, horses, and thick-thewed country boys with big dicks make this a solid contender, though it lacks the Old West character of the 2005 original, starring A&E’s longtime contract star Carmen Luvana. </div><div><br /></div><div><b><a href="http://www.videogoldmembers.com/shop-by-type/sp-sanatorium-5688.aspx"><i>Sanatorium</i>, Zero Tolerance.</a> </b> Plot is simple: Girl (Tabitha Stevens) goes into sex work; girl is condemned for sex work by self-righteous prudes; prudes drive girl near to insanity (hence the Sanatorium) where she gains the clarity to plot revenge by exposing the prudes’ secret vices. Solid (if somewhat dated) plot and outstanding sex make this a good contender, but not a likely winner. Hey, it’s an honor just to be nominated, right?</div><div><br /></div><div><b><i>Scorned</i>, Penthouse.</b> “Hell hath no fury yadda yadda yadda.” A flick about pissed-off women who take revenge when they’ve been, you guessed it, scorned. The plot’s pretty thin, but the performances make it noteworthy. Not much chance of winning, however.</div><div><br /></div><div><b><a href="http://www.videogoldmembers.com/shop-by-type/sp-speed-5669.aspx"><i>Speed</i>, Wicked Pictures. </a></b> This epic tale of LA Motorcycle clubs (thing sport bikes and shiny helmets, not leather, denim, and Harleys) includes some of the hottest sex to be filmed this year, including an incredible all-Asian three-way including Anglo-Thai stud Keni Styles. Keni’s one of the very, very few Asian men in Western porn, but he’s built like a tall, well-hung Bruce Lee. Even without Keni this flick would be the favorite to win, but between the novelty and the action, not to mention Wicked’s traditionally well-shot, very hot sex, Speed is the most likely winner of the category this year.</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://www.videogoldmembers.com/shop-by-type/sp-whatever-it-takes-5681.aspx"><b><i>Whatever It Takes, </i>Wicked Pictures</b>.</a> The third entrant from Wicked Pictures (with <b><i>3 Days in June</i></b> and <i><b>Speed</b></i>), this is the weakest flick of the three, even though it’s well-acted, scripted, and directed. The problem is the plot: the “suburban wife making extra money by being a part-time prostitute plot has been done <i>ad nauseum</i> since the 1970s. But <b><a href="http://www.videogoldmembers.com/star/tori-black/">Tori Black</a></b> is the reason this flick made the cut. Her performance (and to a lesser extent performer/director <b>Stormy Daniels</b>’) is the reason the movie got the nomination, in my opinion. And while it’s technically well-executed, with the bright and shiny competition around it it’s unlikely that Whatever It Takes has what it takes to take the top spot.</div><div><br /></div><div>So that’s my round-up of this year’s contenders – stay tuned next week for my re-cap of the big awards show winners!</div>Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-27974784000952604282010-12-17T08:36:00.001-08:002010-12-17T09:04:00.973-08:00Nerd Girl Hall Of Fame: Katrina Hill, The Action Flick Chick<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihJ-SnPIDzYZ6p4Ioj_wJQrcswUV7jjMXLX_Ie3Supuuu5gKVncMnUcpVP_8o3klpYcB8b5rHrZdoFQTPPiXVlHjJ4okBU4QOtrzsLHwX5F9_52KJGqX9KAzOlXavcXjh_aEUyE89Gs2DD/s1600/Action_Flick_Chick_Defeats_Everyone.jpg"><img style="text-align: left;display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 294px; " src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihJ-SnPIDzYZ6p4Ioj_wJQrcswUV7jjMXLX_Ie3Supuuu5gKVncMnUcpVP_8o3klpYcB8b5rHrZdoFQTPPiXVlHjJ4okBU4QOtrzsLHwX5F9_52KJGqX9KAzOlXavcXjh_aEUyE89Gs2DD/s400/Action_Flick_Chick_Defeats_Everyone.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5551692589369297698" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; border-collapse: collapse; "><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Everyone knows some dude who’s into chick flicks . . . I mean <i>really</i> into chick flicks, to the point where you start to wonder.<span> </span>I mean, there’s nothing <i>wrong</i> with it, I guess, and there’s no doubt that he has an easier time talking to wo</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">men supported by all the valuable insights into feminine psychology he’s gleaned from <span> </span>traveling pants and pianos and ABBA musicals, but . . .</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Well, every now and then an extraordinary individual comes along from the <i>other</i> side of the Force, and you meet a chick who’s far more into <b>Iron Man</b> than <b>Steel Magnolias</b>.<span> </span><b>Katrina Hill</b>, a Texas babe also known as <b><a href="http://actionflickchick.com/superaction/">The Action Flick Chick</a></b>, is one such woman.<span> </span>She developed an enthusiasm – nay, a gloriously nerdy reverence – for action f</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">licks in her youth, thanks to the unhealthy influence of her brothers.<span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">As a result she’s a Nerd Boy’s wet dream: a smart chick with a hot body who games and cheers at explosions; a girl hard-wired to thrill at the perfect on-screen kill; a fox who can kick your ass at your video game of choice and make you not mind the humiliation so much after she shoots you a sultry glance; a lady who can identify a Russian-made RPG the way most girls can identify a pair of Ferragamo heels.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">And the girl has some strong opinions: Her favorite action movie?<span> </span>The classic <b><i>Tremors </i></b>(1990).<span> </span>Favorite classic action movie kill?<span> </span><b><i>Rambo IV</i></b>.<span> </span>Favorite fantasy bad ass to train with?<span> </span><b>Solid Snake</b>.<span> </span>Best horror action flick ever?<span> </span><b><i>The Dawn of the Dead </i></b>remake.<span> </span>You might argue her choices, but I wouldn’t get within arm’s reach while doing so – Action Flick </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Chick has a license to kick ass, and she ain’t afraid to use it.Katrina runs the <b><a href="http://actionflickchick.com/superaction/">Action Flick Chick blog</a></b>, where she expounds at length on the merits of the movies, the heroes, the actors, the explosions, and the pure excited terror that defines the genre.<span> </span>She’s passionate about her vocation, escalating the fine art of video violence <span> </span>from the banal to the sublime.<span> </span>A kind of sexy Texas Kali Yuga, she recently won <a href="http://www.busygamer.com/blog1/?page_id=7793"><b>Gamette of the Month</b> at <span class="Apple-style-span">busygamer.com</span></a>, and is a powerful contender for <a href="http://www.busygamer.com/blog1/?page_id=867"><b>Gamette of the Year 2010</b> (You may vote for her here – once a week, please).</a><span> </span>She’s an ardent Twitterist, and recently cosplayed <b>The Baroness from GI Joe</b> – and I can so <i>totally</i> see it.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinRpxpkVsRb236AQeP6rd7VEg7C0ixbE5VoEaw6siKeAGE5EawKYKxUpUK99IoIgYQwVj463WXlykC6nYrUAqO7Ym12-a05wuqjHiW552eONp3ybFSDbR6zOxe-118DOz1NYqyfXB6Lq8z/s400/10-24-2010-afc-15.jpg" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5551696812997882370" /></p><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Her site is an on-line shrine to all thinks destruction-related, with a delightfully horrific slant – she recently interviewed the cast of <b><i>The Human Centipede</i></b>, for instance.<span> </span>Her extensive and well-written reviews tell you <i>exactly </i>what you want to know about a flick, a TV show (she recently reviewed the season finale [as <i>if</i> six episodes is somehow a ‘season’] of the AMC hit zombie-fest <b><i>The Walking Dead</i></b>, of graphic novel fame), or live events (she covered the <b>Dallas ComicCon for <i>Attack Of The Show</i></b>).<span> </span>She’s also the recipient of the first annual <b>G4TV Next Woman Of The Web</b> award.<span> </span>S<span><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; color: black; ">he and her avatar also star in <a href="http://rocketllama.com/actionchick/"><b><i>"The Action Chick"</i></b> webcomic</a>.</span></span></p><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhja_mGVv0JTBxgjVT1xevo_j9zBb7rfVfRI9APnpsc5G3EDUpfjwoJHdPjqJn4QieRhhNKuOuS-NvIt9n6ec-ibQhiNeyIF63UFK9WHcDiWkJY9lYfMGO168H8YbeFGsL4lmO_jinAneJh/s400/10-24-2010-afc-8a.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5551696313862818178" /><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Call her a professional fangirl or an up-and-coming webstarlet, the fact is that Katrina is a sassy, smart and sexy nerd girl with a penchant for violent entertainment and an outstanding eye for pop culture trends.<span> </span>I forsee big things for her.<span> </span>And if you’re wondering why I selected her, specifically, for this rare honor over all of the other worthy Nerd Girls out there, it was this tidbit from her interview with Busygamer.com that won me over:</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0.5in; "><strong><span style="font-size: 9pt; font-family: Tahoma; color: black; "></span></strong></p><blockquote><strong><span style="font-size: 9pt; font-family: Tahoma; color: black; ">Tell us one of your super secret nerdy fantasies…</span></strong><span style="font-size: 9pt; font-family: Tahoma; color: black; "><br /><span>Being part of a super-secret black ops team with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the crew of the Firefly, blasting both vamps and reavers while simultaneously playing the x-box 360 all night </span></span></blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; "></span><blockquote><span style="font-size: 9pt; font-family: Tahoma; color: black; "><span>long.</span></span></blockquote><span style="font-size: 9pt; font-family: Tahoma; color: black; "><span></span></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Buffy.<span> </span>River.<span> </span>Willow.<span> </span>Zoe.<span> </span>Kaylee.<span> </span><i>And</i> Katrina.<span> </span>Fighting Reavers and Vampires.<span> </span>Oh, and a bunch of violence-prone hunky guys with guns (plus Wash and Xander) but . . .</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_XFNAEAKZhkdD7jlsnNItUh6B6lGd0GLN0KqF1wTkH6JaBobynvqNgY6HvEUxNkqstj93-a_WL7Ww6vx9CXcTmWzDkQpsIArH6eSrX83vtUGTe7RNIe-IEDFyjy81CF49E5WaJpxoRJd8/s400/10-24-2010-afc-10a.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5551697287282950322" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px; " /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">I think I might need to change my trousers.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Congrats, Kat!<span> </span>Our newest inductee into the Nerd Girl Hall Of Fame!</p></div></span></div>Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-9473092167776492452010-12-06T07:36:00.001-08:002010-12-06T08:45:18.971-08:00Get Your Geek On With Geekscapes!<div style="text-align: center;"><u><br /></u></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1vLy9wL-Ltiom4upCUs5a1Uxr7tJhkY6k79JsgRnbwnBilC-xQeZVlZgPt4g5Yjm5kTO4f-nCAqQ0plLoo7nzpr_VlDU2aiJC7JrGCBgMPUYcVjGzcaIlbAz2ys76PwhEnCkmM0n9iVri/s1600/va+comic+con+2010+028.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1vLy9wL-Ltiom4upCUs5a1Uxr7tJhkY6k79JsgRnbwnBilC-xQeZVlZgPt4g5Yjm5kTO4f-nCAqQ0plLoo7nzpr_VlDU2aiJC7JrGCBgMPUYcVjGzcaIlbAz2ys76PwhEnCkmM0n9iVri/s400/va+comic+con+2010+028.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5547602115619036146" /></a><br />Okay, while I tend to lean heavily towards the "sex" side of "Sex Nerd", sometimes something comes along that's so nerdy as to be worthy of note on the blog, even if it isn't overtly sexy. This is one of those times.<div><br />I was at the NC ComicCon (yes, I'm <i>that</i> much of a nerd) a few weeks ago when something shiny caught my eye (besides a cool dozen issues of the vintage dirty comic book <b><i><a href="http://www.omahathecatdancer.com/">Omaha the Cat Dancer</a></i></b>): hanging in a display window outside of one of the booths was the<i> coolest</i> nerdy thing I've seen in a while.<br /><br />You know that scene in <b><i>40 Year Old Virgin</i></b> (see? I <i>knew</i> I could work sex back into this!) where Steve Carrell freaks out because his girlfriend wants him to sell all of his highly-collectible toys? Well, yes, Virginia, there <i>are</i> nerds out there that are that hardcore about their toys. Indeed, there's a whole subculture of high-end collectible figure collectors out there. You don't have to have won a sci-fi con costume contest to spot a geeky demographic like that. Some of these figures are limited editions and trade for <i>thousands</i> of dollars. Remember that nerdy kid up the street who had every single Star Wars figure, even the elusive and highly-coveted first-edition Boba Fett? Well, he's worth a fortune, now. Only it's not just <b>Star Wars</b> toys: every major entertainment niche has had collectible figures made and traded.</div><div><br />But where to store your treasured figures? Obviously, if you're a serious collector just keeping them in the box is going to feel . . . <i>wrong</i>, somehow. After all, you want to <i>display</i> your prizes proudly, and even if you don't want to play with them and destroy their value, you do want to see them and show them off. But displayed figures get dusty, and can be damaged by harsh UV light, etc. Not to mention accidentally broken when your 4 year old nephew descends on your home and figures out that you have toys he can't touch.<br /><br />But now you can put your figures on display in their natural environment, thanks to the invention of <b>Geekscapes</b>. Geekscapes are custom-made display cases that can hold as many as six 12" figures (more, if you want it bigger) sealed away from dust and protected from UV light. An internal LED lighting system allows a fully-illuminated display, or optional colored "mood lighting" (like the awesome Cobra Commander throne room I saw at the show). The cases are wall-mounted, meaning you don't have to get a separate piece of furniture to store them on, and decorative glass inserts on the sides allow almost complete 360 degree viewing of your precious figures. The Geekscapes either come plain, <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiktccUlL4TblO02-1uS1Z6uQ8nsKmIJGonmL3BNKcpVWuHqFM1IxcyI0IJPg_s_q7T-3GNfv8pHTLxcRKOCkXnxKbaIwM7JTOMvoHN9ctQDaJKEKowRGZ2NLpMswUxYxyC2pSFxRUCXFT3/s400/va+comic+con+2010+030.JPG" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5547602486882830994" />or for an additional fee they can be customized into nearly any setting, the price being dependent upon the complexity. With a starting price of $500 and the really nice ones (like the Predator jungle scene) can go for $1200 or more), it might seem a high price to pay; but consider that one of these boxes can protect $3000-$6000 worth of figures and you can see why plenty of collectors would consider this a worthy investment. The level of detail is <i>magnificent!</i><br /><br />I got the opportunity to talk to <b>Lance Sawyers</b> at the show, the CEO of <a href="http://www.4cornersconcepts.com/index.html">4 Corners Concepts</a>, the company that sells <b>Geekscapes</b>. He started with his own successful framing business, then sought a way to combine his business with his love of comic books and sci-fi. A tall dude with the coolest, nerdiest tattoos on his legs (think superheroes and Star Wars -- this dude is <span style="font-style:italic;">committed!</span>) Lance is a former Sk8r who has been doing this sort of thing for years. Nice guy, on a fundamental level -- he even told me about the time he got to see Carrie Fisher's <i>private</i> tattoo after she wanted to see his extensive ink at a Chicago convention . . . and he claims his tattoos go <i>all the way up</i>. (Dude got felt up by <i>Princess Leia</i> -- how cool is that?) He started a few years ago with <b><a href="http://www.4cornersconcepts.com/geekbox/splash.php">GeekBoxes</a></b>, specialized display cases for rare comic books, and <b><a href="http://www.4cornersconcepts.com/sk8box/splash.php">Sk8Boxes</a></b>, cases for prized skate boards, which saw a tremendous amount of success. Lance had already mastered the art of custom-displaying collections of S<a href="http://www.4cornersconcepts.com/4cc/splash.php">ports Memorabilia</a> (big business in the Triangle region he hales from -- home of National Championship-addicted Duke and UNC-Chapel Hill), so moving into something closer to his own interests was natural. Since he collected comics and skated, he went there first.<br /><br />But last year he realized that there was a large market for custom-made displays for high-end toys, and he started designing his first Geekscape. Each one is different, he says, and he's produced 4 impressive display models which he demonstrated at the <b>NC ComicCon</b> and the <b>Virginia ComicCon</b>, and will be taking to other shows in the near future. Included in his displays are the aforementioned <b>Cobra Commander</b> throne-room (with impressive stained glass windows and Cobra banners fluttering as a poor <i><b>GI Joe </b></i>prisoner is about to be decapitated), the lush jungle scene from <b><i>Predator</i></b> (his most elaborate and expensive to date), a glorious Geekscape of the recent <b><i>Dark Knight </i></b>Batcycle tearing through Gotham by night, an action-oriented <b>GI Joe</b> scene in Afghanistan (complete with desolate landscape and the aire of human desperation). Other projects are already in progress (they can take up to two months to finish, depending on the level of detail), but response has been enthusiastically strong. </div><div><br /></div><div><blockquote>"One dude offered me fifteen hundred on the spot, before the show even opened," Lance says, surprised. "I mean, I knew they'd be popular, but . . ."<div></div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div>Lance also makes smaller display boxes for smaller figures, but he doesn't shy away from custom work on a grand scale. <blockquote>"I got a dude who wants the old Adam West-era Batman scene of Batman and Robin climbing up the side of a building with bat ropes, and someone -- I won't say <i>who</i> -- looking out of the window, just like on the show. But he also wants a custom 'Bat Signal' LED, so that the Bat Signal splashes on the wall above the case. It's going to be tricky, and possibly expensive, but I love the challenge. And there's really no one else servicing this market right now, so if there's a lot of interest, this could become one of my biggest selling products."</blockquote></div><div><br /></div><div>Now, if Lance can just do one of the Playboy Mansion . . .<br /><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>CONTACT <a href="mailto: lance@4cornersconcepts.com">LANCE AT 4 CORNERS CONCEPTS </a>FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR OWN CUSTOM GEEKSCAPE . . . AND NO, I DIDN"T DO THIS BLOG POST IN EXCHANGE FOR MY OWN. MY WIFE WON'T LET ME PLAY WITH ACTION FIGURES ANY MORE BECAUSE IT MAKES MY KIDS JEALOUS . . .<br /><br /></div></div>Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-31261206525638410172010-11-22T07:40:00.000-08:002010-11-22T11:14:26.128-08:00Nerd Girl Hall Of Fame: Temperance BrennanDr. Temperance Brennan (<b>"</b><i><b>Bones"</b></i>)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOVMFJeuoQg7brd6Tj8UOVT0pWdCDtHFaWR3R_RbNsOiMRPnYhMz9wrWI2Tqd7dpGBn2QfYnOPp8xkwbLBX5eTR5eqGjv0wFVvMYtRrxfa8BIupSUen-57MZUvUca8Nsud67Xhe220Ieyw/s1600/emily-deschanel-picture-2.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5542451282316909490" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOVMFJeuoQg7brd6Tj8UOVT0pWdCDtHFaWR3R_RbNsOiMRPnYhMz9wrWI2Tqd7dpGBn2QfYnOPp8xkwbLBX5eTR5eqGjv0wFVvMYtRrxfa8BIupSUen-57MZUvUca8Nsud67Xhe220Ieyw/s400/emily-deschanel-picture-2.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 307px;" /></a><br /><div><br /><br /><br /></div><br /><div><br /></div><br />Shows like CSI and other procedurals can't hold a candle to the hit crime drama, <b>Bones</b> -- and it's not because of David Borneaz's hunky shoulders. It's because of the ultra-nerdy <b>Dr. Temperance Brennan</b>, a forensic anthropologist (see? I'm aroused already) who works at the Jeffersonian Institute, amongst an army of fellow nerds who figure out the identity of unknown human remains.<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOVMFJeuoQg7brd6Tj8UOVT0pWdCDtHFaWR3R_RbNsOiMRPnYhMz9wrWI2Tqd7dpGBn2QfYnOPp8xkwbLBX5eTR5eqGjv0wFVvMYtRrxfa8BIupSUen-57MZUvUca8Nsud67Xhe220Ieyw/s1600/emily-deschanel-picture-2.jpg"></a><br /><div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQUK9gxsE26vb8Q5i8aL4-lMZNYxC7lox4hO_yh5r0r4Igm9dXMRTz5bmVfdUJJW1FF-4o4CGXYw6tDvX_uDB-sdgPQSRL6XpETOQcDAPyw-KDeNDwJlRfSZMWgayGrjPjfCgSVqZa7S5x/s1600/emily-deschanel-2007-hot-hollywood-benefit-5.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5542452335251279170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQUK9gxsE26vb8Q5i8aL4-lMZNYxC7lox4hO_yh5r0r4Igm9dXMRTz5bmVfdUJJW1FF-4o4CGXYw6tDvX_uDB-sdgPQSRL6XpETOQcDAPyw-KDeNDwJlRfSZMWgayGrjPjfCgSVqZa7S5x/s400/emily-deschanel-2007-hot-hollywood-benefit-5.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 400px; margin: 0 0 10px 10px; width: 295px;" /></a><br /><br /><div><br />Dr. Brennan ("Bones" -- she specializes in them) is not overtly sexy -- indeed, it's her understated sexuality that makes her so appealing. On the show she rarely goes for the revealing, sticking instead to the tasteful -- but somehow that just makes her <i>more</i> attractive, not less. Bones has a smokin' body and a striking face (thanks in large part to Emily Deschanel's gorgeous bod), but it's her mind that's the sexy thing here.<br /><br /></div><br /><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5542451944687934242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio7j9Ls6uvfmgtf1pfFiVvSl8H1_8zk5IXxCzgN7-lqQq1RBZ1cI_aJkaRNKAZlgQxHziGEYKE828GzvI0m35b_Om7jfcSRwGU7uw6UhlC6_sNBj2iWkId2yTfmZSEtdWsrjq5N8kp1-jd/s400/emilydeschannel.png" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 364px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 400px;" /><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div><br />Oh, she's no blushing virgin on the show -- in fact, her detached demeanor and empirical world-view make her almost refreshingly blunt about sex -- and she has her share of geeky partners over the show's many seasons. Dr. Brennan's distinct lack of social issues surrounding sex, and her logical, rational approach to . . . well, everything, including sex, gives her an allure that you just can't buy with a garter belt and stockings. Indeed, it's her disdain for poorly-conceived cultural ideas about mating that makes her a hottie. You just can't have a brain that stuffed full</div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div><br />of amazing facts and laser-beam logic and take a divine prohibition against masturbation seriously, for instance.<br /><br /></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div><br />It doesn't hurt that she surrounds herself with a lab full of doting geeks -- the female of the species in this case unusually attractive for a non-profit scientist, on the whole -- who see her genius surpassing their own, and don't resent it. Her best friend Angela is an image specialist with a far more common take on sexual matters -- and it is she, therefore, who advises Brennan on the lustier parts of the books she writes in her spare time. Angela's a perfect counterpoint to the stoic, Vulcan-like elegance of Brennan, a grown-up hippy chick who was just too darn brainy to spend her life backpacking through India. But her earthiness isn't the attraction in the show, it's clearly designed to act as a contrast to the distant, detached sexuality of the show's primary.<br /><br /></div><br /><div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAAwlA1yGxV4bRXaC1hq9uQ0OOleloKVycWFlwf4EuEmGBqpydfN125Cg72yBhOiAS1sxgsxuQxAaR7bMUAnO7E3Iu-OO2nLz_XJPJWOTlHKSxZBAIEfAc769s2BWC8zttx0qF2IJa3aY-/s1600/bones19.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5542452156225391906" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAAwlA1yGxV4bRXaC1hq9uQ0OOleloKVycWFlwf4EuEmGBqpydfN125Cg72yBhOiAS1sxgsxuQxAaR7bMUAnO7E3Iu-OO2nLz_XJPJWOTlHKSxZBAIEfAc769s2BWC8zttx0qF2IJa3aY-/s400/bones19.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 274px; margin: 0 0 10px 10px; width: 400px;" /></a></div><br /><div><br />Therefore it is my pleasure to announce Dr. Temperance Brennan as this week's fictional Nerd Girl Hall of Fame inductee. Skeletal microfissures indicating a time of death have never <i>been</i> so sexy.</div><br /></div>Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-47392368830775428622010-11-18T12:40:00.000-08:002010-11-18T12:45:05.005-08:00Dirtiest. Blues Song. Ever.Just had to share: As a scholar of the historically raunchy, I was captivated by this early 20th century recording of what has to be the filthiest, most sexually aggressive blues song I've ever heard. I'm in awe of how dirty it is, and appreciative of the culture from which it sprang. <div><br /></div><div>The title? "Shave 'Em Dry". It's sung by Lucille Bogan, and recorded in the 1930s. If there was ever any doubt of the overtly sexual nature of the blues, this jaunty little tune should put a bullet in it.<br /><div><br /></div><div>Check it out, courtesy our friends from <a href="http://fleshbot.com/5691331/shave-em-dry-the-dirtiest-blues-song-ever">Fleshbot.</a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-53090335652379880632010-11-15T08:49:00.000-08:002010-11-15T09:32:37.519-08:00A Harlot With A Heart Of Gold<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbU6NRzNz0bSfaFN3mco6-mUop_R5zv9rkS4rtk0mUiS39yIBHnZgUA0bh754w6jtVsoJ3G-906OrlnJX1vhc4ZOaS8RVUjvCZlGRd8AXOi6r7qGUghcptZA4s4hZNoWdevc7WVoJIMAFW/s1600/norahtheharlot.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 356px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbU6NRzNz0bSfaFN3mco6-mUop_R5zv9rkS4rtk0mUiS39yIBHnZgUA0bh754w6jtVsoJ3G-906OrlnJX1vhc4ZOaS8RVUjvCZlGRd8AXOi6r7qGUghcptZA4s4hZNoWdevc7WVoJIMAFW/s400/norahtheharlot.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539826348324347458" /></a><br /><div>I've never in my life patronized a prostitute, but since I started working in the sex industry I've met a few. There were no less than four legal brothels represented at last year's AVN show, and I enjoyed talking to the very friendly (and very expensive!) ladies who were working the booths. There was the hooker I met in the casino who, when I mentioned I was visiting Vegas with my wife, was considerate enough to include her in the proposal for a nominal fee (for the record, while amused, we never seriously considered such a thing! Old married couple . . .) And I've recently learned that an acquaintance of mine occasionally meets men in airport hotel bars as a side business, much to my surprise. Actually, more like shock -- you would never guess, to look at her.</div><div><br /></div><div>So I have the utmost respect for a woman who has a true vocation for sex work. While theoretically any woman could do the job, in practice only a few have the mental and physical skills to stick with the rough business for any length of time. But in this crappy economy, despite the dangers and risks involved I can see why a woman with few other options might consider the profession. And while the tawdry cheap trick pulled by the common streetwalker is, unfortunately, the usual method of a sex-for-money transaction happening, thanks to the Internet, Craig's List (at least, it <i>used</i> to be) and an entrepreneurial spirit, a small but growing class of independent women offering sexual services in a safe and sane environment is thriving.<br /><br />Some of these women are former professionals who can't find work in their fields and want to trade on their youthful good looks and sex appeal between assignments. Some are single moms who find "working" a few days a month preferable to welfare lines and food stamps and late child support payments. And some are just naturally drawn to the profession for no other reason than that they are really, <i>really</i> good at it, and they enjoy both the work and rewards.<br /><br />Are their problems with prostitution in America? Of course there are. And for every "happy hooker" or "pretty woman" story out there, there are hundreds of horror stories of sexual exploitation, rape, drug addiction, and the like. In far too many cases a woman is prostituted against her will, or even trafficked specifically for sex. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm not ignoring the inherent dangers of the profession one bit, nor am I endorsing or even recommending it -- I'm merely observing a trend. The fact is, like so many other industries prostitution has seen a productivity boom thanks to the Web. The anonymity of the internet and disposable cell phones make it much easier for a woman to get into the business as an independent operator, without a pimp, and cultivate a small, loyal clientele without automatically falling victim to all the horrors that prostitution can bring. Consider them sexual entrepreneurs or the cutting edge of a 21st century cottage industry, but these ladies are pursuing their clients just like any other small business -- and that includes specials, group discounts, and options.<br /><br />But this is the first time I've seen a "scarlet woman" who is offering a canned food drive promotion. (Props to Creamer for forwarding this to me.)<br /><br />The woman who ran this on her blog uses the trade name "Norah", and by her website's account she's an <blockquote>"attractive and discreet lady. Very friendly. I provide adult companionship services and sensual full-body rubs"</blockquote> . . . and last week, as you can see, she even provided a military service discount for Veterans' Day. Plus she works frequently near military bases. <div><br /></div><div>A <i>patriotic</i> prostitute.<br /><br />But it's the canned food drive that gets me. Norah's offering $10 off her normal rate (which runs around $200 an hour) for 5 cans or boxes of non-perishable food. It's not a lot. And having some experience with what it takes to execute even a small-scale canned-food drive, I can assure you that it's an effort. But this North Carolina lady is clearly trying to do her part to alleviate the suffering of others in her community, and doing so without being apologetic for her profession. It's unlikely she's going to get any credit for her work -- and doubtful she really wants recognition, as she prides herself in her ads on her discretion -- but one cannot help but appreciate what this one woman is doing in a difficult time. <div><br /></div><div>Patriotic <span style="font-style:italic;">and</span> compassionate.</div><div><br /></div><div>This isn't going to change the minds of those who condemn prostitutes or prostitution -- but perhaps it might show even those people that by de-humanizing the sex workers with cries of slut shaming that these ladies are <i>real people</i>, people who care about their community and their clients. Sure, they're in it for the cash. But not every hooker is a money-grubbing, self-centered wench, as Norah clearly demonstrates. </div><div><br /></div><div>Some harlots really <i>do</i> have a heart of gold . . . and the price of gold is sky-high right now. Take that metaphor for what you will.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>I'm not going to publish her contact information here, but I'm willing to forward it to those who likewise wish to honor Norah . . . in <i>whatever</i> capacity. Nutjobs need not apply.</div></div>Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-31094823327604649152010-11-12T07:53:00.001-08:002010-11-12T08:22:44.560-08:00Exclusive Alexis Texas Interview Coming Soon!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJZQooe8Sf-MgJczftjI0JLcxrv3fsfsMHWKo1U31mVet8vCL38nacWRsC8knbOdiVipOkUAuQLXOPNpwG2QCnZIUAPVE7MDfmRcH-zqfyqPLiVZ8G5adN7rVT0rhsK3KclUi5saM4MPMo/s1600/AT2"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 199px; height: 253px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJZQooe8Sf-MgJczftjI0JLcxrv3fsfsMHWKo1U31mVet8vCL38nacWRsC8knbOdiVipOkUAuQLXOPNpwG2QCnZIUAPVE7MDfmRcH-zqfyqPLiVZ8G5adN7rVT0rhsK3KclUi5saM4MPMo/s400/AT2" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538692864502584818" /></a><br />I had the wonderful opportunity to interview one of the biggest stars in the pornoverse yesterday, the fabulous Alexis Texas! It was arranged by one of my clients at the lovely Adam & Eve campus (A&E is, incidentally, celebrating 40 Years of business this year, a monumental accomplishment in an industry where companies can go into and out of business over the course of months) a<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiULaOJ0YgqnKfIfRsir_NvMvdZS2b_T4bfUnrAKUCwiU1e1wEsLsy6_RjkvZszOJ9qeQWJ31fYXptUBMnECpOrE0iUCWXHHaTRuGdxhYUN1f0w3I4h16ZT4NL2u9qOy9d0wta8F5OOPpo/s400/AT3.jpg" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 183px; height: 275px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538693302728354498" />nd taped. As soon as the edits are done, of course, I'll be posting it here in my Pornstar Interviews section.<div><br /><br /></div><div>Initial impressions? Tall. Tall but very nice. Alexis towers over most of the other performers I've had the pleasure of interviewing, and (with the addition of some absolutely smokin' high-heeled boots) her universally famous big booty looks almost slender in proportion. </div><div><br /></div><div>Funny story: as part of the interview, I asked her about her well-known romantic connection to fellow adult performer, Mr. Pete. Of course I asked her about their sex-life, the most intimate details of their romance.</div><div><br /></div><div>But I didn't ask her about her marital status . . . <i>because I didn't want to get too personal!</i></div><div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk8han4zBSD5WSo4esmLDScz9pPLJgOZlxE5CroJXUHmkKKbiUpMRblFmHwjWGbnwx3xdyACp5D99CFryjr1WbnqxLkKXTlVD8WjfsOnNotxXYBWSA5Pzx0haOfcyN-MkFCNK4hCCZF1c0/s1600/Ian+And+Alexis.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 359px; height: 332px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk8han4zBSD5WSo4esmLDScz9pPLJgOZlxE5CroJXUHmkKKbiUpMRblFmHwjWGbnwx3xdyACp5D99CFryjr1WbnqxLkKXTlVD8WjfsOnNotxXYBWSA5Pzx0haOfcyN-MkFCNK4hCCZF1c0/s400/Ian+And+Alexis.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538696097230764434" /></a></div><br /><br /><div>Only in porn, folks. Only in porn. </div><div><br /></div><div>So immediately after the interview, one of the folks at A&E kindly informed me that Alexis and Pete were married this past summer. Congratulations to you both, and may you have many happy years together in front of the camera and off-camera!</div><div><br /></div><div>Alexis Texas is a class act, folks. And she's an outstanding performer. I just got the very earliest edit of her upcoming flick for A&E, Teagan Presley's The Six, where she does a stunning girl-girl scene with Teagan (an A&E contract star whom I hope to interview soon!), and her work in the kinky powerhouse D2: Deviance 2 was phenomenal. Of course I really love her for her parody work, including her roles in the parodies for <b>Cheers, the <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMJaLmq3O3RzHzAqezbOFNUhBYTt7Dg3k8937LMWyyXr5SJLwG0bnGzPqRlCnUjj11XtVJN10P6iZf3nuPKvrAs6QaL3S112JBgpHsxDddDW6TDE1GoB7btQ-mHYo6CnzSjVJGgr198yZg/s1600/AT5.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 184px; height: 274px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMJaLmq3O3RzHzAqezbOFNUhBYTt7Dg3k8937LMWyyXr5SJLwG0bnGzPqRlCnUjj11XtVJN10P6iZf3nuPKvrAs6QaL3S112JBgpHsxDddDW6TDE1GoB7btQ-mHYo6CnzSjVJGgr198yZg/s400/AT5.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538693673843603058" /></a><br />Office, the Dukes of Hazzard,</b> and others, but she impressed me the most with her outstanding scene in <b><i>Batman: A XXX Parody</i></b> (the one spoofing the old Adam West show, not the newer, darker Dark Night version) in which she delivers an absolutely phenomenal blowjob to Dale Dabone in the middle of a go-go dancing club in a beehive hairdo. That capped what was an otherwise brilliant parody for me (well, that and Evan Stone as the Riddler cackling maniacally and waving his pecker around . . . good times . . .).</div><div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEW-KkJ2dgG7aPn4_GMG5a_Nul_KJZ5U9xoMvNr_FA9PoX6MxBlnNF1VPRNyAo9N0YNmYwJsGA7GepDp7QEQub50-r6taO9vBP24YjPRGARCQuYa0aUXcCgxJ8aIjhEe6DVErikBAhVmfH/s1600/Autograph+--+Alexis+Texas.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 299px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEW-KkJ2dgG7aPn4_GMG5a_Nul_KJZ5U9xoMvNr_FA9PoX6MxBlnNF1VPRNyAo9N0YNmYwJsGA7GepDp7QEQub50-r6taO9vBP24YjPRGARCQuYa0aUXcCgxJ8aIjhEe6DVErikBAhVmfH/s400/Autograph+--+Alexis+Texas.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538699257275467186" /></a><br /><br />(Of course the DVD I got her to autograph was the Star Trek DVD. I am a Nerd, after all.)<br /><br /></div><div>Anyway, I'll be posting the interview in its entirety after it comes back from post-production. In the meantime, feast your eyes on the finest ass in the galaxy!</div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmOHhkirupl7UGMP5QXSeWwcuD_fw3QUjqs9Yy5SF5rYpfsiT8kWaoYL1xfhXEjacHuNT0qdEdm6aWv2WB4sF9j9DohUq1U8gg4pcRTRpiEYoiGg9o6rm_ZHFX-TTsepoDT-67u82ncMXr/s1600/AT"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 183px; height: 275px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmOHhkirupl7UGMP5QXSeWwcuD_fw3QUjqs9Yy5SF5rYpfsiT8kWaoYL1xfhXEjacHuNT0qdEdm6aWv2WB4sF9j9DohUq1U8gg4pcRTRpiEYoiGg9o6rm_ZHFX-TTsepoDT-67u82ncMXr/s400/AT" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538692954878631122" /></a>Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4920736517919502370.post-15060407091415725072010-10-28T09:04:00.000-07:002010-10-28T09:37:01.257-07:00Parody Corner: 3 You Should SeeAs I’ve <a href="http://thesexnerd.blogspot.com/p/porn-parodies-recent-history-complete.html">mentioned before</a>, we’re living in a Golden Age of parody. As porn-as-whackfodder becomes devalued, thanks to tube sites and such, porn-as-entertainment is on the rise, and a wonderful crop of great parodies has hit the market. Since few people have time to figure out which ones are worthwhile, here are some reviews and recommendations that can help you make a date-night decision!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUJ_IYA0ALNYNR6tEbfyqPC0GnsPyPZvczGfJBZrf8XkfSKDfxh8vsP_ClZMLqJ7ppkmfTcWO37Jjsaz7i0K58_lFTmHXdfqPt4qxGpWAnUAYuBfE5aSIaGGMf9yxtH1xCValOoZ4i9k7s/s1600/untitled.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 215px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUJ_IYA0ALNYNR6tEbfyqPC0GnsPyPZvczGfJBZrf8XkfSKDfxh8vsP_ClZMLqJ7ppkmfTcWO37Jjsaz7i0K58_lFTmHXdfqPt4qxGpWAnUAYuBfE5aSIaGGMf9yxtH1xCValOoZ4i9k7s/s400/untitled.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5533131252766451154" /></a><br /><br />First up: <span style="font-weight:bold;">Sex In The City: The Original XXX Parody</span><br /><br />Now with REAL sex!<br /><br />Fans of the show (and there are a gajillion of them) will enjoy this for the non-sex, as the director has taken great pains to get the details right, down to the jazzy musical bumps between scenes and Carrie’s voiceovers. Director Lee Roy Meyers does an admirable job re-creating the show, approaching it with the intensity of a true fan. Best yet, the dialog is snappy, witty, and just what a slightly-sluttier version of all your favorite characters (if that’s possible) would say.<br /><br />The storyline revolves around Carrie’s (the tarty <b>Kayla Paige</b>) dilemma: Mr. Big (<b>Evan Stone</b> – well done, too!) has received a job offer in El Lay, and invites Carrie to come out and cohabitate with him. But while she’s intrigued by to proposal (but still very conscious there’s no ring involved) she is loath to abandon her best friends. Of course, Samantha (<b>Brittany Andrews</b> – a good, not great casting decision), Charlotte (<b>Bobbi Starr</b> – dead on, and great chemistry, too!) and Miranda (<b>Zoe Voss</b>, and very apt) aren’t about to let her go without a fight! A great plot for the show, and once you add in the sexual issues all of them are enjoying, there’s a lot of great scrumping, too!<br /><br />The sex isn’t “chick porn” – that’s not to say it isn’t hot and erotic and strokeworthy, this just isn’t what we in the profession call “chick porn”. That’s a good thing, because I don’t think any of the friends (except maybe Charlotte) would really be into chick porn, or have chick-porn style sex with their humpies. Don’t know the difference? “Chick porn” is ostensibly designed for women to enjoy, but that means the focus is on the scene, the setting, the lighting, the props, the wardrobe, the music, etc. etc. and not on the humpage. Since most of the porn chicks I know don’t care for chick porn, ironically enough, this has plenty of lusty appeal to everyone. All four of the leads did magnificently well, and the chatter flowed naturally compared to some parodies. High marks, and big date-night recommendations!<br /><br /><div><br /></div><div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCsqpnGAxIZMkEns04jYaU6CYHMIJIGt23dL-hyIiyswpCoUdcBIhtl0dzVsrTXbPG841tz6HbriJnn6v-szJSaS-jyokiEi_ZlRJ6QZqL9GeuyHogtAG3BWaL4dl9eWCPoP-tqGkt3FuR/s1600/charlies+angels.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 283px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCsqpnGAxIZMkEns04jYaU6CYHMIJIGt23dL-hyIiyswpCoUdcBIhtl0dzVsrTXbPG841tz6HbriJnn6v-szJSaS-jyokiEi_ZlRJ6QZqL9GeuyHogtAG3BWaL4dl9eWCPoP-tqGkt3FuR/s400/charlies+angels.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5533135119016789586" /></a><br /><br /><br /></div><div><br />Next up: <b>Not Charlie’s Angels XXX</b><br /><br />If you weren’t around back in the days when there were (at most) four channels on your TV, you missed one of the hottest T&A fests the 1970s (and producer Aaron Spelling) ever produced: <b><i>Charlie’s Angels</i></b>. A prototype for <b><i>Baywatch</i></b> and other jiggly-jugged faves, <i>Charlie’s Angels</i> had the distinction of <div><br /></div><div>a) having the late Farrah Fawcett for a season of “acting” </div><div>b) having three hot babes who didn’t mind peeling down as often as the censors would allow and c) increase the amount of sex most Americans had in the 1970s. </div><div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRu2aHeWhETRW0VeIvsbcwTFcG58cH95xyXh4mi1JL__gvFS42NKaLLw5fPkYbHO-uStuNZPM-wmxnE0QRz3PeF4kxrCexia64VuCkOwwhJeTnRChFS8GSgzlw7OOYPMQIwogLKZUFI7QK/s1600/charliesangels.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 207px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRu2aHeWhETRW0VeIvsbcwTFcG58cH95xyXh4mi1JL__gvFS42NKaLLw5fPkYbHO-uStuNZPM-wmxnE0QRz3PeF4kxrCexia64VuCkOwwhJeTnRChFS8GSgzlw7OOYPMQIwogLKZUFI7QK/s400/charliesangels.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5533133827671186530" /></a><br /><br /><br /></div><div>That’s right, back when they started keeping statistics about such things, <b><i>Charlie’s Angels </i></b>led to more late-night hump-fests than any other show. Johnny Carson talked about it a lot. The show was re-booted in the last few years featuring Lucy Liu, Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore, not to mention Dan Ackroyd as Bosley, but let’s just all pretend that was a bad acid trip and move on.<br /><br />Now we have the porn parody, directed by the acclaimed <b>Will Ryder</b>, and thankfully Will and the folks at <b>X-Play</b> have remained faithful to the original concept. The Angels (<b>Sunny Leone, Lexi Swallow, and Andy San Dimas</b>) are all private detectives working for Charlie, their disembodied boss. (missed point: Charlie, in the original series, had a bit of a North East accent overlayed by laid-back California English; in the porn parody he has British or Australian accent. Minor point) This week’s episode (and yes, that’s how they phrase it in the title under the classic funk guitar title music) revolves around cocaine and prostitution and disappearing party girls at <b>Studio 54</b> – can the Angels help? Of course they can!<br /><br />The costumes are stunning vintage 1970s, with low cut V necks, wide bell bottoms, and wild prints (but, I was said to see, no smocks. I'd love to see one of the Angels get shagged in a smock. That sounds so . . . dirty . . . ) . The hair is vintage, too, and the three do an excellent job of staying in character as they go undercover at the tony discotheque. The sets and extras are impressively in-period, and the only clear anachronism I caught was when the bad guys are counting their cocaine money, and many of the $100 bills are the modern, big-faced greenbacks, not the 1970s standard. But such things make the show more entertaining, not less. A<b>nd the sex is what you’d hope a really good episode would have done, had they allowed explicit sex on network TV in the 1970s!</b> Some great girl-girl (of course!) and plenty of fellatio, cunnilingus, and funky dance riffs make this a blast from the past that’s ideal for a nostalgic date night!<br /><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7-4psGCt0Hcd8T7_PYNZNNduz-cSvLKP1-opgB_Zre1fbWndtFT1dEMUYvkiSFoicieQl14rRj482xUXTIc3JXJgYfOXDG4mEpnezKg0vBkVFLTM2LhW3Ubc-UMWIwxKtTXC-6Wh-1vTk/s1600/1547620h.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 297px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7-4psGCt0Hcd8T7_PYNZNNduz-cSvLKP1-opgB_Zre1fbWndtFT1dEMUYvkiSFoicieQl14rRj482xUXTIc3JXJgYfOXDG4mEpnezKg0vBkVFLTM2LhW3Ubc-UMWIwxKtTXC-6Wh-1vTk/s400/1547620h.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5533135594716599058" /></a><br /></div><div><br />Next up: <b>Batfxxx: Dark Night</b><br /><br />I’ve raved and raved about this year’s outstanding porn parody, <b><i><a href="http://thesexnerd.blogspot.com/2010/06/holy-homage-batman.html">Batman: A XXX Parody</a></i></b>, based on the Adam West 1960s vintage version of the Caped Crusader. But now <b>Bluebird Films</b>, of all studios, has made an impressive foray into the parody market with this stunning flick based on the more recent Heath Ledger/Christian Bale version.<br /><br />Gothard (sic) City is under siege from a fiendish band of villains, led by the Joker (played beautifully with creepy mania by <b>Paul Chaplin</b>). He’s even recruited Catwoman (<b>Madelyn Marie</b>) into his gang. But a certain cowled hero, The Bat (<b>Nick Mannin</b>g), is leading a crusade to stop their evil plans. </div><div><br /></div><div> Same bat plot, same bat story. But it never gets old.<br /><br />But here’s where things get interesting: director <b>Nicholas Steele</b> included no less than 9 group-sex scenes in full costume, making this dark comic book hero the center one orgy after another, with writhing bodies and outstanding group sex at every turn. There’s a tremendous emphasis on detail here, but there’s also some fine porn acting, particularly by Paul Chaplin. And with<b> over 60 adult performers</b>, I’m sure you can find some flesh you like! This is highly entertaining porn spectacle, not to be missed.<br /><br />That’s it for Parody Corner this week, kids! Next time: porn parodies of <b><i>Avatar, Soul Train, and Friday the 13th!</i></b><br /></div></div>Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com0