Newest Inductee: Katrina Hill, Action Flick Chick
Dr. Temperance Brennan ("Bones")
Shows like CSI and other procedurals can't hold a candle to the hit crime drama, Bones -- and it's not because of David Borneaz's hunky shoulders. It's because of the ultra-nerdy Dr. Temperance Brennan, a forensic anthropologist (see? I'm aroused already) who works at the Jeffersonian Institute, amongst an army of fellow nerds who figure out the identity of unknown human remains.
Dr. Brennan ("Bones" -- she specializes in them) is not overtly sexy -- indeed, it's her understated sexuality that makes her so appealing. On the show she rarely goes for the revealing, sticking instead to the tasteful -- but somehow that just makes her more attractive, not less. Bones has a smokin' body and a striking face (thanks in large part to Emily Deschanel's gorgeous bod), but it's her mind that's the sexy thing here.
Oh, she's no blushing virgin on the show -- in fact, her detached demeanor and empirical world-view make her almost refreshingly blunt about sex -- and she has her share of geeky partners over the show's many seasons. Dr. Brennan's distinct lack of social issues surrounding sex, and her logical, rational approach to . . . well, everything, including sex, gives her an allure that you just can't buy with a garter belt and stockings. Indeed, it's her disdain for poorly-conceived cultural ideas about mating that makes her a hottie. You just can't have a brain that stuffed full
of amazing facts and laser-beam logic and take a divine prohibition against masturbation seriously, for instance.
It doesn't hurt that she surrounds herself with a lab full of doting geeks -- the female of the species in this case unusually attractive for a non-profit scientist, on the whole -- who see her genius surpassing their own, and don't resent it. Her best friend Angela is an image specialist with a far more common take on sexual matters -- and it is she, therefore, who advises Brennan on the lustier parts of the books she writes in her spare time. Angela's a perfect counterpoint to the stoic, Vulcan-like elegance of Brennan, a grown-up hippy chick who was just too darn brainy to spend her life backpacking through India. But her earthiness isn't the attraction in the show, it's clearly designed to act as a contrast to the distant, detached sexuality of the show's primary.
Therefore it is my pleasure to announce Dr. Temperance Brennan as this week's fictional Nerd Girl Hall of Fame inductee. Skeletal microfissures indicating a time of death have never been so sexy.
And the inaugeral entry is . . . Sarah White!
As profiled in my recent blog post, Sarah runs The Naked Coder, a site where she both advertises her services as a coder and web designer as well as showing off her faulous bod!
She promises to work naked and let you watch if you hire her -- count me as a fan. As marketing schemes go, this one is fabulous. So is her body. I'm preparing an interview with the Nerd Princess, and will post it as soon as I have her response. In the meantime, here are a few select pix from her site. Enjoy!
Nerd Girl Hall Of Fame: Willow Rosenberg
As I mentioned, the Nerd Girl Hall Of Fame is open to both real and fictional sexy Nerd Girls. Since I started with a real girl, I'm going to alternate to a fictional one -- and a really hot one, at that: Willow Rosenberg.
The character on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Joss Whedon's cult classic TV show about a teenage girl who kills vampires and saves the world and junk, contained a number of compelling characters. One of the strongest was that of Willow Rosenberg, Buffy's nerdy side-kick and go-to girl when it came to library research and getting kidnapped by demons. Willow was a nerd girl from Day One, playing the classic high school chick with a big brain, small tits and low self-esteem. But that didn't mean she wasn't sexy! Even in the early days Willow had a seething sexuality hidden by a steaming pile of demure, a force that leaked out in unexpected but delightful ways as the seasons progressed.
She started out the nice Jewish nerd girl, wearing corduroy, sweaters, overalls, and other mismatched nerdwear. Always meek and cautious, she had a built-in vulnerability and a knack for witty dialog -- not to mention a case of hormones that raised its ugly head from time to time -- that made her irresistible to nerddom. The red hair and big eyes and pouty lips certainly didn't hurt! In her whacky home town of Sunnydale, she did all the normal things that a kid living on the edge of a gate to hell enjoys: running for her life, group dates, being threatened by demons, yearbook, and hunting vampires on a school night. Crazy kids. Better yet, she lost her virginity to a really, really nice werewolf (Seth Green) in the back of a van. How cool is that? An evil alternate universe Willow, turned into a sexy, vampy vampire seductress complete with leather and bodice and long sexy legs revealed another side to our wholesome nerd girl. And she was a little gay.
But the Willow fun didn't stop at mere nerdhood: Willow was also a witch ("Wiccan", in the TV sense, not the really religious sense) and a powerful one. Her magickal kung fu helped tremendously in the later seasons, as she and Buffy and their pals went to college. If Nerdy Willow was hot in an understated way, Nerdy Wiccan Willow was twice as hot.
But then the hotness got hotter as our nerd girl decided to switch teams and become a lesbian her freshman year. It was a controversial move -- many of the fans were pleased with the decision, many were appalled, but it just gave her that much more sexy for us low-brow hormone-crazed types. A sweet loveable nerd girl with red hair and pouty lips who casts spells and eats pussy, too? That even beat dating a werewolf!
The problem? Her choice of Freshman year girlfriend, Tara. I don't like Tara. Has nothing to do with her being gay, and everything to do about the character. No one was more pleased than I when Joss had Tara killed in an accidental shooting. Of course the grief forced Willow to turn to her Dark Side, and Dark Willow nearly destroyed the Earth, but that's what you get when you fuck with a nerd. We're inclined to over-react.
The question of whether Willow was a die-hard rug muncher or just happily Gay Until Graduation has been more-or-less answered in her continuing inclination to dine at the Y in the comic book series, Buffy Season 8. Seen here entwined with a spirit babe, you can't deny the horniness in Willow's eyes. Gay Willow is still hot!
And while many of us want to see her eventually return to sausage -- or just get kinky with a boy every now and again -- too many LGBT fans would riot over it, so Joss The Boss is likely to keep her eating bush indefinitely.
But there's always fan fiction . . .
Nerd Girl Hall Of Fame: Danica McKellar
I said I'd profiled a real nerd girl this time around, as opposed to a fictional one. At first glance you might think I went back on my word -- and the word of a nerd is sacred. But I didn't. Our inductee this time out is Danica McKellar, who you may remember as Kevin Arnold's (Fred Savage's) love interest on the bubblegum sitcom The Wonder Years.
I'll cop to having a crush on Winnie (Danica), which is perfectly legitimate since we were roughly the same age at the time. Winnie (Danica) was wicked cute, and had all the makings of a first class nerd girl.
But we aren't inducting Winnie Cooper, fictional nerd girl. We're inducting Danica McKellar, real life nerd girl.
She's always been hot, but this beauty has brains to spare: she even has a mathematical therom named after her! Danica studied mathematics at UCLA, graduating with highest honors (summa cum laude) in 1998.
As an undergraduate, she coauthored a scientific paper with Professor Lincoln Chayes and fellow student Brandy Winn. Their results are termed the 'Chayes–McKellar–Winn theorem'. Otherwise known as 'Percolation and Gibbs States Multiplicity for Ferromagnetic Ashkin-Teller Models in Z2.'
Danica's Erdős number is four. If you know what that is, you're a hardcore mathnerd. If you understand the significance, you know that Danica is likewise a hardcore math nerd. And as super-hot as that is, it's not the best thing about Danica (and no, I'm not talking about her adorable face or her luscious body). The best thing about Danica is that she's putting her brains to work on behalf of all of our daughters in a series of specialized math books designed specifically for preteen and teenaged girls.
Since most math books are written by men and are as much fun to read as cold pancakes with no syrup, Danica penned a much more appropriate style designed to appeal to the native sensibilities of younger girls. It's tragic how much girls are discouraged from doing math in school -- or at least doing well at it. Not only are teachers and the system in general prejudiced against the idea that girls can excel at mathematics, but social pressures on girls from each other to bag math as boring, boy stuff is profound. As a father of a young daughter facing that already in elementary school, I fully appreciate just how much a series of books like Danica's is needed.
Her three books are Math Doesn't Suck, Kiss My Math, and the brand-new, scalding hot-off-the-presses Hot X: Algebra Exposed!, which I'm proud to plug in my blog. And if you want to see the steamier side of this mathnerd princess, check out the video to her Maxim photo shoot!
Now, I'm sure that plenty of women out there are concerned that someone who is such a positive role model for young nerd girls is scandalously seen in her skimpies, but the fact is that her beauty and her brains make up one complete person . . . that we want to drool over. The idea that you have to be a Slagathor in order to do math is just crazy. I'd prefer my math teachers to have looked like this. I might not have been a liberal arts major, then.