Friday, September 30, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Dueling Sex Nerds: Yes, Emily Doods really ARE this . . .
I’ve been having a fascinating discussion over at the other Sex Nerd, Dr. Emily Nagoski’s site, and while I was actually going to post this as a response, I figgered, y’know? I haven’t done a non-Charlie Sheen related post in a while, so here goes:
The basic question began with Dr. Emily’s curiosity about whether or not a woman taking sex off the table right up front was a good idea, as the big sexual question mark that hangs over every male-female relationship is so incredibly distracting that it gets in the way of actually developing a relationship. A fair point. However, I pointed out that while I did feel it was a good idea, for completely different reasons, I mentioned that in doing so a woman fundamentally changes the nature of her relationship with the man in question, whether she means to or not.
Thanks for that, Emily. I am, indeed, happily married, but I am not only a student of human nature, the author of a book on how to pick up women, but I’m a Sex Nerd. I do a lot of observation on this subject and talk to a lot of people. I’m not out to score myself -- Mrs. Ironwood has that well in hand. My issue here is not personal, I assure you, it is professional. But if you must yell . . . well, at least make it interesting. Back to Emily:
Well said.
I’m not saying that every dude a woman meets is potential boyfriend material, or even a potential bedmate. What I’m saying is that the existence of this theoretical possibility has very little to do with any likelihood sex will occur. It has far more to do with how men deal with rejection, individually and collectively.
This is going to be hard to explain to my XX audience, but if you ladies will bear with me a moment, this might be a valuable clue to masculine behavior you can take home with you. In my opinion, bouyed by my observations, adult straight men, no matter how strong of mind, noble of spirit, etc. etc., tend to put all women into three categories, and subtly alter their behavior accordingly. There’s the Class Of Women Who I’ve Slept With/Continue To Sleep With (feel free to substitute “be intimate with”, if you like), there’s the Class Of Women Who Might Potentially Sleep With Me, Theoretically, and finally there’s the Class Of Women Who Will Not/Can Not Sleep With Me. Pretty simple, huh? Well, we’re dudes. We like things simple.
Now, membership in one class or another has nothing to do with the level of respect that a man pays to the woman in question. Your niece, your grandmother, your maiden aunt, the church ladies, the girl scout troop, all of these women are safely in the class of Women Who Will Not/Can Not, or they had better be unless you want some unpleasant jail time and national notoriety. For all practical purposes, for the adult male these females are Off Limits, and that’s OK. That doesn’t mean they aren’t people, that doesn’t mean they aren’t women, it means they’re in Category 3.
Category One tends to be a wife or girlfriend, or perhaps several girlfriends and maybe a wife or two. Women that you have/can be intimate with. They are in a special place in your heart and mind, even if that place is a little seedy, but they are women who, psychologically, have provided the male in question with affirmation and personal security, not to mention some happy fun time, potentially children, and possibly an STD. Regardless of whether you love them or hate them, these are the women to whom most men treat specially. It’s a subtle difference, from any other category, but it’s there.
Category Two? Everyone else. Theoretical “Fair Game”. In other words, Women Who Have Not Rejected You Yet.
And that’s the heart of the matter. Even if sex is nevery spoken of, and the relationship between said man and said woman is entirely professional on both sides, to the male the “big question mark” is what establishes the mental status of the woman. It’s not even, “could I get into her pants, theoretically?” it’s “am I impressing her enough so that, say we were both stranded on a desert island, she would find me acceptable enough as a human being to want to be with me sexually?”
It sounds silly, I know, but no more silly than the woman I knew who broke up with her fiancee because she didn’t like the way his last name sounded with her first name. And it’s important to point out that this all occurs at a subconscious level for most men -- we are so used to sublimating our sexual drives that we are often unaware of when and how they impel us. But when a man meets a woman in a social situation and the woman is exempt from categories One or Three, well, that means sex is on the table . . . theoretically. Or, at least the innate desire of men to display their sexual assets (not their big dicks, BTW) in terms of demonstrating competency, success, efficiency, control, strength, wisdom, humor, intelligence . . . you get the idea. When we meet a woman for the first time, that desire appears like a magical suit of armor. We’re polite, attentive, respectful, witty, and all those other things that we think will get girls.
BUT . . . the moment that a woman moves categories, that perspective goes away.
Here’s an example: I used to work in an all-female office, surrounded by women all day long (I was a secretary). I got along with everyone, about six women in all, ages ranging from my mother’s age to just-out-of-college. One of my co-workers, let’s call her Jill, was particularly funny and intelligent, and I flirted as outrageously as 1990s era sexual harassment in the South would let you get away with. I was already engaged to my wife, so there was no serious issue -- just me being my usual charming self, and Jill being her charming self.
Then came the day that one of my other co-workers let slip that Jill was, in fact, completely gay. That wasn’t a problem for me, understand, as I had not only been raised in the Lesbian Capital Of The South, my spiritual leader was a dyke and I had plenty of lesbian friends. I’m completely comfortable around lesbians, so Jill being gay didn’t bother me at all. But the fact that her status had changed in my mind wasn’t completely apparent until a few weeks later, when Jill tracked me down and demanded to know why I was mad at her.
I was surprised -- I wasn’t mad at her at all. But she pointed out several little things that I used to do that I didn’t do anymore -- flirting, jokes, some of the camaraderie -- Jill thought I was mad at her, and even wondered if being gay was part of it (although that was the first time she, personally, had mentioned it to me). And she was right. My behavior had changed, and being gay was part of it, but not because I’m homophobic. My behavior changed because Jill’s status had changed, from “A Woman Who Hasn’t Rejected Me Yet” to “A Woman Firmly In Category 3 (non-sex protocols ONLY)”. I gave it some serious consideration -- I don’t take such things lightly -- and I finally had to go back to her with this:
“Jill, I like you a lot, and you’re a good friend and a wonderful person. But the fact is, men in general have a hard time with rejection, and when I’m faced with your lesbianism, it’s not that I begrudge you anything at all -- it’s just that you’ve essentially rejected my entire gender, and due to that my behavior toward you changed, because my feelings toward you have changed.”
She thought that was joking, at first, and then when she realized I was serious, she got upset. How dare I use her sexual identification to single her out, was I so petty and stupid as to let her relative fuckability determine the course of our friendship, how could I be that mean, etc. etc. It took about two weeks to get her calmed down to discuss the issue rationally again. But I was persistent -- I liked Jill. I considered her a friend and a valuable co-worker. But I couldn’t flirt with her anymore, or give her anymore personal intimacy than I would extend to a male friend. While my level of courtesy never lapsed, my willingness to pay attention to the details of her life and share my own with her diminished. It was as if my White Knight, Impress The Girls armor was invisible to her.
Did I cheat myself out of a good friendship by doing this? Perhaps. I certainly didn’t help me get laid one way or another. But the more I thought about it, the more I recognized the truth of my feelings. When a woman rejects you, or (more rarely) is rejected by you, her status changes. When Jill’s status changed, on the one hand I no longer felt the subtle pressure to impress her with who I was, for one thing. On the other hand, lunch was always a little more tense after that. Eventually Jill got used to this change in my status, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t get me to flirt anymore. There was just . . . no point.
I struggled with this a long time, and the issue re-occurred a few years later when my wife’s best friend came out as definitely-not-straight. She was more irate than Jill over my sudden disinterest, and I felt even worse about that. But once again, it came down to a matter of rejection. Personal or wholesale, rejection strikes to the heart of men’s souls, and we will do just about anything to avoid it -- even avoid women in favor of porn, sometimes. As Warren Farrel points out, when faced with rejection, men turn to objectification to lessen the sting. Enough sting, and you get a dude who seriously ready to objectify. And that means removing your vulnerable self from the area of potential injury, among other things. When your girlfriend breaks up with you, you don’t move in next door (unless you have bigger issues). When the nice girl in the office turns you down for a date, you can relax a little because you know where you stand with her, and you don’t have to worry about impressing her any more.
And when the intelligent, witty, highly-educated and charming woman you just met at a book signing lets you know that while she finds you interesting, intriguing, funny and charming . . . that there is absolutely no possibility of sex on the table . . . you have her make it out to “Charlie, all the best” and you move on.
It’s not a character flaw in men, nor is it, I believe, entirely a cultural artifact. If it was, then we would see its absence in some human cultures. Indeed, I’m entirely open to the idea that there exists somewhere a naturally occurring culture where men and women can leave sex off the table and still proceed with friendship and even intimacy apace . . . but I haven’t found it yet. You can blame it on men if you have to, but I contend that that’s who we are, part of the character of masculinity, and not a character flaw.
Emily continues:
Ask ‘em. You might be surprised by their opinions. If they’re truthful.
Have to stop you there, Emily. I find your characterisation of men in this context to be unfairly biased. How about “constantly sexually aware and socially astute mature adults who are informed and guided by their ability to distinguish between viable and non-viable partners and tailor their behavior and decisions accordingly”. I mean, no one would try to deny your personhood if you took sex off the table right up front. On the other hand, I will testify that most men, in that situation, are unlikely to extend any further interest towards you not dictated by manners or an ulterior motive. Once sex is off the table, your status changes, and once your status changes in a man’s mind, unless he REALLY enjoys a challenge and is seriously grooving on you despite your protests, he’s going to find someone with whom he can not only enjoy a pleasant evening with, but also engage in sweaty monkey sex. That’s not denying personhood, that’s moving on to greener pastures.
My professional sex-nerd opinion? You hit the nail on the head. “We aren’t going to ever have sex” is great news for both parties, but it essentially closes off huge swaths of possibilities, pre-limiting the nature and intensity of the relationship. When you say that, you are essentially “pre-rejecting” a man. He might still respect you as a human being, a professional, and a woman . . . but what incentive does he have to spend time with you and cultivate an intimate relationship when you’ve already put the most important aspect of intimacy out of reach? No matter how engaging the prospect of a platonic relationship, it’s never going to have the draw of a potentially sexual relationship to a man.
Personally? I think that’s your best bet. A man will respond to a challenge better than being given a dead-end. If he thinks he’s up to the task, me might surprise you. More than likely, he’ll reveal himself to be an unimaginative and unlearned lover. But if he does surprise you by meeting your very high bar, then consider the potential magic in that union. And you probably do come across as a little intimidating to dudes, Emily, thanks to your job. Not many men would have the confidence or self-reliance to even attempt that level of seduction, much less the talent and the intelligence.
All fair questions, Emily, which is why I wrote the post. Whether or not it’s a cultural narrative would demand examining disparate human sexual cultures and comparing and contrasting -- no easy task. But from my crude observations and conversations with men in other cultures, my gut feeling is that this is not a Western Culture thing. I’m more than willing to alter my opinion if there are some convincing arguments, but at this point I’m sticking to the “That’s how men are . . . sorry, better get used to it” line. Because I do think that men possess a more active set of sexual impulses than women, as a rule, and I think that it’s what makes us get up in the morning, talk to pretty girls, beat up saber-toothed tigers, make lunch for the kids, and be kind to old ladies. Without that impulse then we turn inwards, climb into the inner recesses of our mother’s basement, and stay there until they turn the internet off.
Is it different for gay guys? I’m not the one to ask, but it’s a very intriguing question.
And what’s a girl to do? Smile and have good posture. And hope the next dude who chats you up in a bar is more interested in what you have to say than what his penis has to say. I mean, there’s always a chance . . .
Thanks for letting me play, Emily! I truly do love your blog and respect your professional opinion. But on this one, I’m going to hold my position.
The basic question began with Dr. Emily’s curiosity about whether or not a woman taking sex off the table right up front was a good idea, as the big sexual question mark that hangs over every male-female relationship is so incredibly distracting that it gets in the way of actually developing a relationship. A fair point. However, I pointed out that while I did feel it was a good idea, for completely different reasons, I mentioned that in doing so a woman fundamentally changes the nature of her relationship with the man in question, whether she means to or not.
Let's bear in mind that Ian is happily married and this is all hypothetical or, at best, post hoc, so let's not holler at him please.
Thanks for that, Emily. I am, indeed, happily married, but I am not only a student of human nature, the author of a book on how to pick up women, but I’m a Sex Nerd. I do a lot of observation on this subject and talk to a lot of people. I’m not out to score myself -- Mrs. Ironwood has that well in hand. My issue here is not personal, I assure you, it is professional. But if you must yell . . . well, at least make it interesting. Back to Emily:
But. This... would mean... a woman who wants a straight man to get to know her as a person has to create an environment where sex is perceived to be at least a theoretical possibility.
Well said.
I’m not saying that every dude a woman meets is potential boyfriend material, or even a potential bedmate. What I’m saying is that the existence of this theoretical possibility has very little to do with any likelihood sex will occur. It has far more to do with how men deal with rejection, individually and collectively.
This is going to be hard to explain to my XX audience, but if you ladies will bear with me a moment, this might be a valuable clue to masculine behavior you can take home with you. In my opinion, bouyed by my observations, adult straight men, no matter how strong of mind, noble of spirit, etc. etc., tend to put all women into three categories, and subtly alter their behavior accordingly. There’s the Class Of Women Who I’ve Slept With/Continue To Sleep With (feel free to substitute “be intimate with”, if you like), there’s the Class Of Women Who Might Potentially Sleep With Me, Theoretically, and finally there’s the Class Of Women Who Will Not/Can Not Sleep With Me. Pretty simple, huh? Well, we’re dudes. We like things simple.
Now, membership in one class or another has nothing to do with the level of respect that a man pays to the woman in question. Your niece, your grandmother, your maiden aunt, the church ladies, the girl scout troop, all of these women are safely in the class of Women Who Will Not/Can Not, or they had better be unless you want some unpleasant jail time and national notoriety. For all practical purposes, for the adult male these females are Off Limits, and that’s OK. That doesn’t mean they aren’t people, that doesn’t mean they aren’t women, it means they’re in Category 3.
Category One tends to be a wife or girlfriend, or perhaps several girlfriends and maybe a wife or two. Women that you have/can be intimate with. They are in a special place in your heart and mind, even if that place is a little seedy, but they are women who, psychologically, have provided the male in question with affirmation and personal security, not to mention some happy fun time, potentially children, and possibly an STD. Regardless of whether you love them or hate them, these are the women to whom most men treat specially. It’s a subtle difference, from any other category, but it’s there.
Category Two? Everyone else. Theoretical “Fair Game”. In other words, Women Who Have Not Rejected You Yet.
And that’s the heart of the matter. Even if sex is nevery spoken of, and the relationship between said man and said woman is entirely professional on both sides, to the male the “big question mark” is what establishes the mental status of the woman. It’s not even, “could I get into her pants, theoretically?” it’s “am I impressing her enough so that, say we were both stranded on a desert island, she would find me acceptable enough as a human being to want to be with me sexually?”
It sounds silly, I know, but no more silly than the woman I knew who broke up with her fiancee because she didn’t like the way his last name sounded with her first name. And it’s important to point out that this all occurs at a subconscious level for most men -- we are so used to sublimating our sexual drives that we are often unaware of when and how they impel us. But when a man meets a woman in a social situation and the woman is exempt from categories One or Three, well, that means sex is on the table . . . theoretically. Or, at least the innate desire of men to display their sexual assets (not their big dicks, BTW) in terms of demonstrating competency, success, efficiency, control, strength, wisdom, humor, intelligence . . . you get the idea. When we meet a woman for the first time, that desire appears like a magical suit of armor. We’re polite, attentive, respectful, witty, and all those other things that we think will get girls.
BUT . . . the moment that a woman moves categories, that perspective goes away.
Here’s an example: I used to work in an all-female office, surrounded by women all day long (I was a secretary). I got along with everyone, about six women in all, ages ranging from my mother’s age to just-out-of-college. One of my co-workers, let’s call her Jill, was particularly funny and intelligent, and I flirted as outrageously as 1990s era sexual harassment in the South would let you get away with. I was already engaged to my wife, so there was no serious issue -- just me being my usual charming self, and Jill being her charming self.
Then came the day that one of my other co-workers let slip that Jill was, in fact, completely gay. That wasn’t a problem for me, understand, as I had not only been raised in the Lesbian Capital Of The South, my spiritual leader was a dyke and I had plenty of lesbian friends. I’m completely comfortable around lesbians, so Jill being gay didn’t bother me at all. But the fact that her status had changed in my mind wasn’t completely apparent until a few weeks later, when Jill tracked me down and demanded to know why I was mad at her.
I was surprised -- I wasn’t mad at her at all. But she pointed out several little things that I used to do that I didn’t do anymore -- flirting, jokes, some of the camaraderie -- Jill thought I was mad at her, and even wondered if being gay was part of it (although that was the first time she, personally, had mentioned it to me). And she was right. My behavior had changed, and being gay was part of it, but not because I’m homophobic. My behavior changed because Jill’s status had changed, from “A Woman Who Hasn’t Rejected Me Yet” to “A Woman Firmly In Category 3 (non-sex protocols ONLY)”. I gave it some serious consideration -- I don’t take such things lightly -- and I finally had to go back to her with this:
“Jill, I like you a lot, and you’re a good friend and a wonderful person. But the fact is, men in general have a hard time with rejection, and when I’m faced with your lesbianism, it’s not that I begrudge you anything at all -- it’s just that you’ve essentially rejected my entire gender, and due to that my behavior toward you changed, because my feelings toward you have changed.”
She thought that was joking, at first, and then when she realized I was serious, she got upset. How dare I use her sexual identification to single her out, was I so petty and stupid as to let her relative fuckability determine the course of our friendship, how could I be that mean, etc. etc. It took about two weeks to get her calmed down to discuss the issue rationally again. But I was persistent -- I liked Jill. I considered her a friend and a valuable co-worker. But I couldn’t flirt with her anymore, or give her anymore personal intimacy than I would extend to a male friend. While my level of courtesy never lapsed, my willingness to pay attention to the details of her life and share my own with her diminished. It was as if my White Knight, Impress The Girls armor was invisible to her.
Did I cheat myself out of a good friendship by doing this? Perhaps. I certainly didn’t help me get laid one way or another. But the more I thought about it, the more I recognized the truth of my feelings. When a woman rejects you, or (more rarely) is rejected by you, her status changes. When Jill’s status changed, on the one hand I no longer felt the subtle pressure to impress her with who I was, for one thing. On the other hand, lunch was always a little more tense after that. Eventually Jill got used to this change in my status, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t get me to flirt anymore. There was just . . . no point.
I struggled with this a long time, and the issue re-occurred a few years later when my wife’s best friend came out as definitely-not-straight. She was more irate than Jill over my sudden disinterest, and I felt even worse about that. But once again, it came down to a matter of rejection. Personal or wholesale, rejection strikes to the heart of men’s souls, and we will do just about anything to avoid it -- even avoid women in favor of porn, sometimes. As Warren Farrel points out, when faced with rejection, men turn to objectification to lessen the sting. Enough sting, and you get a dude who seriously ready to objectify. And that means removing your vulnerable self from the area of potential injury, among other things. When your girlfriend breaks up with you, you don’t move in next door (unless you have bigger issues). When the nice girl in the office turns you down for a date, you can relax a little because you know where you stand with her, and you don’t have to worry about impressing her any more.
And when the intelligent, witty, highly-educated and charming woman you just met at a book signing lets you know that while she finds you interesting, intriguing, funny and charming . . . that there is absolutely no possibility of sex on the table . . . you have her make it out to “Charlie, all the best” and you move on.
It’s not a character flaw in men, nor is it, I believe, entirely a cultural artifact. If it was, then we would see its absence in some human cultures. Indeed, I’m entirely open to the idea that there exists somewhere a naturally occurring culture where men and women can leave sex off the table and still proceed with friendship and even intimacy apace . . . but I haven’t found it yet. You can blame it on men if you have to, but I contend that that’s who we are, part of the character of masculinity, and not a character flaw.
Emily continues:
And...
(1) Nearly all of my closest friends have been men, and it never occurred to me that this might be true.
Ask ‘em. You might be surprised by their opinions. If they’re truthful.
(2) This is exactly the sort of thing I tell my students is a cultural myth but isn't actually true - men, I want to tell my students, are not actually dick-driven simpletons incapable of recognizing a woman's personhood in the absence of sexual access to that woman.
Have to stop you there, Emily. I find your characterisation of men in this context to be unfairly biased. How about “constantly sexually aware and socially astute mature adults who are informed and guided by their ability to distinguish between viable and non-viable partners and tailor their behavior and decisions accordingly”. I mean, no one would try to deny your personhood if you took sex off the table right up front. On the other hand, I will testify that most men, in that situation, are unlikely to extend any further interest towards you not dictated by manners or an ulterior motive. Once sex is off the table, your status changes, and once your status changes in a man’s mind, unless he REALLY enjoys a challenge and is seriously grooving on you despite your protests, he’s going to find someone with whom he can not only enjoy a pleasant evening with, but also engage in sweaty monkey sex. That’s not denying personhood, that’s moving on to greener pastures.
and
(3) Well, if this is true, it goes some distance in explaining why I've been single since 2005. When I used to the "let's have sex to get the question out of the way" strategy, I had relationships - relationships that ENDED, let's be clear, but relationships. Since adopting the "we're not going to be having sex anytime soon because I really do need to get to know you first, no matter how attractive you are" strategy, I have not had one relationship.
My professional sex-nerd opinion? You hit the nail on the head. “We aren’t going to ever have sex” is great news for both parties, but it essentially closes off huge swaths of possibilities, pre-limiting the nature and intensity of the relationship. When you say that, you are essentially “pre-rejecting” a man. He might still respect you as a human being, a professional, and a woman . . . but what incentive does he have to spend time with you and cultivate an intimate relationship when you’ve already put the most important aspect of intimacy out of reach? No matter how engaging the prospect of a platonic relationship, it’s never going to have the draw of a potentially sexual relationship to a man.
Now, I have no trouble creating an environment where sex is viewed as a possibility - all I have to do is NOT say "sex is not going to happen in the foreseeable future," and my job takes care of the rest. So perhaps my best potential strategy is to say, "We're not going to have sex in the foreseeable future UNLESS you successfully seduce me, and I am a challenge to seduce because I know so much about the game that I am the fucking Magister Ludi of seduction; in order to play with me you have to play a META-game, you have to improvise a new game with me, in the moment. Go."
Personally? I think that’s your best bet. A man will respond to a challenge better than being given a dead-end. If he thinks he’s up to the task, me might surprise you. More than likely, he’ll reveal himself to be an unimaginative and unlearned lover. But if he does surprise you by meeting your very high bar, then consider the potential magic in that union. And you probably do come across as a little intimidating to dudes, Emily, thanks to your job. Not many men would have the confidence or self-reliance to even attempt that level of seduction, much less the talent and the intelligence.
[quote]will a straight man be less likely to want to get to know her? If not, why is this a cultural narrative? If so, does the same hold for gay men getting to know men? And if it is true, what's a girl to do?
All fair questions, Emily, which is why I wrote the post. Whether or not it’s a cultural narrative would demand examining disparate human sexual cultures and comparing and contrasting -- no easy task. But from my crude observations and conversations with men in other cultures, my gut feeling is that this is not a Western Culture thing. I’m more than willing to alter my opinion if there are some convincing arguments, but at this point I’m sticking to the “That’s how men are . . . sorry, better get used to it” line. Because I do think that men possess a more active set of sexual impulses than women, as a rule, and I think that it’s what makes us get up in the morning, talk to pretty girls, beat up saber-toothed tigers, make lunch for the kids, and be kind to old ladies. Without that impulse then we turn inwards, climb into the inner recesses of our mother’s basement, and stay there until they turn the internet off.
Is it different for gay guys? I’m not the one to ask, but it’s a very intriguing question.
And what’s a girl to do? Smile and have good posture. And hope the next dude who chats you up in a bar is more interested in what you have to say than what his penis has to say. I mean, there’s always a chance . . .
Thanks for letting me play, Emily! I truly do love your blog and respect your professional opinion. But on this one, I’m going to hold my position.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Bree Olson and Charlie Sheen: Tigerblood And The Making Of A Love Goddess
When you work in the porn industry, it’s always a little vicarious thrill to see one of our own intrude into the mainstream world, something that’s happening with a lot of frequency now that we’re all aTwitter and porn itself is becoming mainstream. Lately, pornstars have been in the mainstream news in all sorts of ways, from Stormy Daniels’ consideration of a possible gubernatorial run, to Lisa Ann's devastating parody of Sarah Palin, to Tiger Woods’ multiple trysts with pornstars . . . and now we have official Hollywood Bad Boy (and star of the tepid Two And A Half Men sitcom on CBS, where he presumably plays one of the complete men -- sorry, haven't watched it. Porn beckons . . . ) Charlie Sheen stealing away someplace tropical with a hot blonde graphic designer and former Adam & Eve Contract Star Bree Olson.I’ve interviewed Bree, and she’s a sweet girl. Not only is she a great performer with an incredible body and a lot of enthusiasm for the work, but she has a girl-next-door smile that just beams. Like many in the industry, she wasn’t at the top of her graduating class – and she’s had her share of personal trauma – but she was also an outstanding performer and represented one of the world’s premier Adult brands for three years (incidentally, Adam & Eve turns 40 this year . . . no, really!).
After she left the big label, she moved on to do some work for other houses, including one I’m eagerly anticipating. It’s rumored that she starred in the New Sensations’ yet-to-be-released adult parody of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. And according to reports, she is, at this point, “retired” from the industry so that she can spend more time with her new “family”: actor Charlie Sheen and graphic designer Natalie Kenly.
It’s one of those whacky Hollywood style polyandrous relationships that are doomed to be temporary, but I can’t fault Sheen: Bree is a hottie, and you just have to appreciate a girl who has wanted to be a porn star since she was a child. No. Really. Bree really does love sex that much, especially anal sex, and her aspirations have been for porn stardom since before it was wholesome for a young lady to consider that as a proper career. She loves what she does on camera. She really is a sex goddess, and as “special” as Charlie Sheen is, I’m sure they’re both benefiting from the unconventional relationship. Bree gets international attention and a fabulous island vacation with a notorious Hollywood star (and a smokin’ hot graphic designer – Bree doesn’t mind munchin’ muff) and Charlie . . . gets a piece of Bree.
Next month the relationship will have exploded because of the media pressure, and Bree will be in even higher demand – expect her to come out of retirement shortly after the chaos of the celebrity break-up recedes – but more importantly, she will have escaped the porn ghetto and entered the much glitzier world of paparazzi and A-list name recognition. Because after this week, everyone in Hollywood will know who Bree Olson is. At least by name.
But if you’re really interested, here’s a selection of Bree’s work. This is the ass that Sheen’s a-tappin’ in some of her greatest hits:
Big Tit Bangers 2: One of Bree’s earlier scenes. Real Girl Next Door look.
Bree & Kayden: Bree enjoying some sapphic girl time with A&E's other contract star at the time, Kayden Kross. Great girl-on-girl, and I'm sure it's a taste of some of what Charlie is enjoying. Unlike some performers, Bree's perfectly comfortable getting intimate with another chick . . .
. . . which brings us to Bree & Sasha, with Euro brunette superstar Sasha Grey. If Charlie's getting some blonde-on-blonde, check out some of this deliciously sensual blonde-on-brunette -- the contrasts of body types is intriguing, and the two performers are very, very good at what they do.
Bree Exposed: Just good ol' fashioned porn, featuring a really choice anal spooning scene with veteran cocksman Tommy Gunn. Nice work.
Bree Olson: The Five: A powerhouse porn-diva collection! Bree headlines and welcomes Alexis Texas, Sasha Grey, Shyla Stylez, and Jenna Haze in a showcase performance! Is it any good? At the time that this was shot in 2009, the ladies had 15 AVN Awards between them. They have more now.
Bree's Anal Invasion: Don't expect a lot of plot, but if you're into ass, this won't disappoint! Bree has always been a passionate up-the-butt girl, and she puts her ass to the test in this one. Charlie's a lucky dude. And from what Bree told me, the back door is always open.
Bree's College Daze: One of the first of Bree's hits. Hot college sorority girl sex. Tell me she wasn't typecast. Every sorority has a girl like Bree in it.Bree's College Daze 2: Because just one semester of college isn't enough! Bree's back on campus, and back on her back, and on her knees, and . . .
Bree's Slumber Party: Perhaps Charlie Sheen's doing a sequel? Also stars superhotties Penny Flame and Kayden Kross.
Carolina Jones and the Broken Covenant: Back before the parody craze really took off, this oft-overlooked and underrated flick stars Ava Rose as Carolina Jones (Adam & Eve is in North Carolina) was one of Bree's first "big time porn" productions. Bree Olson stars as the spunky blonde sidekick, and yes, you may interpret that any way that you would like. It's hot. It's violent (not the sex, the plot -- sex is great!). Good date night fare, and one of Bree's earlier works.
Down & Dirty With Bree Olson: Bree gets down. Bree gets dirty. Bree takes an awful lot of dick up her ass. Four hours of one Bree scene after another, including some interracial. Girl is nasty, in a good way.
Eden: This was an important film, one of the first Bree did with Adam & Eve Pictures as a contract girl, and the last one that Adam & Eve Pictures' outgoing contract girl, Carmen Luvana, starred in. Bree does a great anal 3-way, and the lush tropical settings, intense sexual performances and a staggering 10 full-length scenes make this a good addition to your collection in its own right.
Everybody Loves Bree: Well, pretty much. Charlie Sheen's a fan, of Bree, of course, and even if Natalie Kenly is a little reluctant to do a girl, you have to admit, even if you were averse to lesbian pursuits, Bree's a pretty hot chick to eat out. This flick will show you why.
Hot Cherry Pies 4: Bree's an open bisexual, and this quick and dirty little lesbo flick shows her "dining at the Y" with gusto! And with 30 girls, I'm sure you can find a couple you like.
Long Dong Black Kong: Bree Olson takes Justin Long's really, really, really big dick in an intense interracial tryst. She's got a soft spot for the brothas, Charlie, watch her around Chris Rock.
Roller Dollz: Bree Olson and a pack of super-hot sex kittens on roller skates at roller derby bouts. A joint production between Adam & Eve Pictures and Zero Tolerance (which usually sticks to straight-up gonzo fare), this adorable flick blew me away. Highly recommended.
Solostravaganza 4: This 2-disc set put Bree on the cover and sales took off. Want to see Bree take a honeymoon in her hand? This is the place.
Sunshine Highway: One of the first pictures Bree did for Adam & Eve, and a worthy effort. She's got wholesome dripping off of her like beads of sweat, even when she's getting screwed in the ass. That's a rare talent.
The 8th Day: Post holocaust sex. Bree has one scene in this movie. It was shot right around the time her grandmother died, so it's not her best work.
The Girls Of Adam & Eve: All of AEP's contract girls from over the years in their best scenes, including one of Bree's best. Great way to put her work in perspective against the larger evolution of porn at the nation's most prestigious adult movie institutions. Plus, if Charlie Sheen had any theoretical higher ground to his fantasy life, this would be it. Imagine being on a tropical island with all of these babes?
The Naughty Co-ed Caper: Bree's in school but she has a tuition problem (gee, maybe in one of these movies the girls could just fill out a financial aid form . . . nahhhh!) so she turns to crime, robbing banks naked. No, really. Hey, it's porn. It's what we do.
The Surrender Of O: It's a big step when a new contract girl takes over a successful franchise. It's twice as big when the franchise is based on a porn classic. The sequel to the hit O: The Power Of Submission, starring veteran contract star Carmen Luvana, Bree handled this important flick with a lot of style. It's BDSM, although aficianaods might find it a little on the light side. Still, Bree does a great job in a difficult medium with the help of Ava Rose and Kayden Kross.
Watch Your Back 2: Straight-up wholesome gonzo anal porn like grandpa used to watch.
Whale Tale: With ass-centric footage shot before she signed with AEP, Bree's cover shot here announced her presence with authority and got her a whole lot of attention. I mean, she's got one of the best asses in the biz, and she loves to use it.
The A Team: A XXX Parody: Bree is the female lead in this surprisingly good parody (see full review here) in which she plays Amy, the only chick in the original series. While her role in the plot is small, her scene doing "Cannibal" (Randy Spears) is delicious!
Bree's Big Screw Review: Bree reviews some porn movies, and gets to screw Tommy Gunn.
NotThe Bionic Woman And The Six Million Dollar Man : Bree plays Lindsy Summers, the Bionic Woman. I'm sure you can guess which parts of her are bionic . . .
That's a good start to Bree Olson 101. Here's the extra credit.
Bree's a fun girl, as Charlie is finding out -- but did you know how many marshmallows she can stuff in her mouth at one time?
(Vs. Kayden Kross)
Bree Olson's Bio:
Name: Bree Olson
Birthdate: 10/11/1987
Hometown: Fort Wayne, IN
Height: 5' 3"
Bust Size: 34D
Studio: Independent
Bio:
IN-DEPTH PROFILE:
Bree Olson erupted on the adult movie scene in 2006, and was an Adam & Eve contract star from 2007 to 2010. Beautiful big boobs, a round and sexy ass, and a smile that lights up a room like fireworks combine to make Bree Olson one of the hottest performers and a true fan favorite! Known for her exuberant performances, there’s no denying one thing about the gorgeous blonde bombshell: she’s always HORNY! With no fake excitement in her scenes in the slightest – Bree is just happy having sex, the raunchier the better!
Bree is openly bisexual, and is equally excited about girl-girl and boy-girl shoots. She also loves anal – loves it! – and enjoys working with a variety of performers. Everybody loves working with Bree – she has a reputation on set for having a warm heart and a sunny disposition. She’s a cat person – Dr. Sniffles – and loves animals, being very involved with animal charities.
A Libra born in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, she’s of Ukrainian descent, and credits her late Ukrainian grandmother as one of her biggest influences.
Bree made the decision early on to work in the adult industry, starting with dancing and photo shoots before moving on into gonzo and feature work. She was Penthouse Pet Of The Month in March, 2008. Her attitude and early performances garnered plenty of attention, and in 2007 she stepped into the role of a full-fledged contract star for one of the biggest adult film production houses, Adam & Eve Pictures. She has starred in almost 150 adult flicks, thus far. She was named Best New Web Starlet by AVN in 2009, Best New Starlet in 2008, and Best Anal Sex Scene in 2008.
And that's the thing: Bree's a fun girl, and she's having a good time with a big celebrity. She's worked hard at her career, and if this is where she's happiest, I'm sincerely happy. I hope she enjoys her mainstream fame, and is able to leverage it into something worthwhile.
But in the meantime, she's given us an impressive body of work.
Of her impressive body at work.
UPDATE: Tigerblood!
I've talked a lot about Bree (who now prefers "Rach" off-screen), but what about Charlie? I've been a hypernerdy fan of his since Red Dawn ("WOLVERINES!") the lurid 80s tale about a post apocalyptic resistance group to a Communist invasion, not to mention Platoon and Wall Street, and while I haven't quite forgiven him for Men At Work, even compared to Bree he's a pretty decent performer in his own right. But that's not what I like about him . . . it's the
TIGERBLOOD!
That's the innate Sheenesque quality of pure manly bravado and masculine chutzpah that decides, hey, I'm a passionate guy and here are not one but two really, really hot blondes who love me and want to sleep with me, so . . . WHY THE HELL NOT? Tigerblood is what makes a man a man. Need to get a couple of six-packs on the way home.
But it's also the reason that Charlie gave for his sexually aggressive lifestyle and occasionally outrageous (or misunderstood) behavior -- and who can blame him? He's the highest paid actor on TV, he's dating a porn star AND a graphic designer, he has two beautiful boys by another beautiful woman . . . I mean, why does Charlie suddenly have to be the role model for America's Youth . . . when he can allow America's Middle Aged the chance to live vicariously through him?
Keep it up, Tigerblood. You're Still Winning!
Monday, February 7, 2011
"Dear Ian . . . "
Had another surprise question for me to give the benefit of my vast sexual wisdom on:
Dear Ms. Badly,
You don't need a sitter. You don't need night clubs. All you need is a little imagination and creativity.
By this time in your relationship, you've done all the "normal" things, you know what you should be doing (theoretically) but yes, you've lost some spark. The issue about the difference between talking and communicating is a relative one, but if you can both agree to make a special effort on your relationship, it's not too difficult to spice things up.
Let's start with the remoteness of your location and the inability to get a sitter. No doubt you're also worried about making too much noise and waking up the children. There are a couple of simple things you can do to take your intimate life up a notch.
First, get it out of the bedroom. Sometimes staring at the marital bed in anticipation of sex leads to some severe performance anxiety on both parties part as they start to worry about disappointing their spouses. Stop that mood in its tracks by inviting your husband into the shower (after you've already done the "business" of shaving and other personal hygiene stuff) and at least start your foreplay under the water, with some good-smelling lotions, soaps, etc. Heck, give him a salt scrub or something, he might like it. It's intimate, it's sexy, it's quiet, it's kid-free, and there's no mess to clean up.
Another tactic is to wake him up in the middle of the night, whisper in his ear that his girlfriend is going to be waiting in the driveway, grab the baby monitor, and scoot out to the car to have sex. Sure, it's uncomfortable -- especially when you know you have a nice warm bed inside -- plus there's the "danger of discovery" element, but those challenges are just the sort of thing you need to keep things interesting. Married sex becomes boring partially because it's easy. If you want to be even more daring, in warmer weather pitch a tent in the back yard. Spontaneous garage/attic nookie is also quite exciting.
You could try instigating a sex game. Nothing elaborate: just play Tag. Make a deal with your husband that one of you is 'it' at the start of the day, and when you're 'it' you are responsible for surprising your spouse with a few minutes of groping, kissing and foreplay in whatever stolen moment you can find out of the kids' view. Afterwards, the other person is 'it'. By then end of the day you'll both be pretty worked up.
The issue is you aren't putting enough "play" in your sex play. That's an easy thing for married parents to do, as the stresses and structure of married-life-with-kids taxes our patience and sanity on a daily basis. We'd like to think that the pleasures offered in the marital bed would alleviate that, but by the time we usually collapse at the end of the day, the spirit is willing but, crap, isn't House on tonight?
Parental responsibility often robs us of our own willingness to play, and as adults we desperately need that. I think you'll both relax and the communication will flow more naturally once you genuinely enjoy the playful aspects of sex. Costumes and toys can help, but too many people misunderstand their place. You can't buy a toy and expect your sex life to turn around. You need to make consistent effort, risk failures that you're willing to laugh about, and be willing to explore some places outside of your comfort zone.
Good luck!
Ian
Dear Ian,
[W]e have been married for 12 years, known each other for 14. Our kids are stil small not in school yet. Where we live you dont get baby [sitters] and [we have] no family near us. So the kids are with us 24/7. My husband start[s] work early in the morning, he gets up at 4 so he gets to bed early at night. We dont have that extra money to go out on the town. So we are home prety much. Advice please!
Need Sex Badly
Dear Ms. Badly,
You don't need a sitter. You don't need night clubs. All you need is a little imagination and creativity.
By this time in your relationship, you've done all the "normal" things, you know what you should be doing (theoretically) but yes, you've lost some spark. The issue about the difference between talking and communicating is a relative one, but if you can both agree to make a special effort on your relationship, it's not too difficult to spice things up.
Let's start with the remoteness of your location and the inability to get a sitter. No doubt you're also worried about making too much noise and waking up the children. There are a couple of simple things you can do to take your intimate life up a notch.
First, get it out of the bedroom. Sometimes staring at the marital bed in anticipation of sex leads to some severe performance anxiety on both parties part as they start to worry about disappointing their spouses. Stop that mood in its tracks by inviting your husband into the shower (after you've already done the "business" of shaving and other personal hygiene stuff) and at least start your foreplay under the water, with some good-smelling lotions, soaps, etc. Heck, give him a salt scrub or something, he might like it. It's intimate, it's sexy, it's quiet, it's kid-free, and there's no mess to clean up.
Another tactic is to wake him up in the middle of the night, whisper in his ear that his girlfriend is going to be waiting in the driveway, grab the baby monitor, and scoot out to the car to have sex. Sure, it's uncomfortable -- especially when you know you have a nice warm bed inside -- plus there's the "danger of discovery" element, but those challenges are just the sort of thing you need to keep things interesting. Married sex becomes boring partially because it's easy. If you want to be even more daring, in warmer weather pitch a tent in the back yard. Spontaneous garage/attic nookie is also quite exciting.
You could try instigating a sex game. Nothing elaborate: just play Tag. Make a deal with your husband that one of you is 'it' at the start of the day, and when you're 'it' you are responsible for surprising your spouse with a few minutes of groping, kissing and foreplay in whatever stolen moment you can find out of the kids' view. Afterwards, the other person is 'it'. By then end of the day you'll both be pretty worked up.
The issue is you aren't putting enough "play" in your sex play. That's an easy thing for married parents to do, as the stresses and structure of married-life-with-kids taxes our patience and sanity on a daily basis. We'd like to think that the pleasures offered in the marital bed would alleviate that, but by the time we usually collapse at the end of the day, the spirit is willing but, crap, isn't House on tonight?
Parental responsibility often robs us of our own willingness to play, and as adults we desperately need that. I think you'll both relax and the communication will flow more naturally once you genuinely enjoy the playful aspects of sex. Costumes and toys can help, but too many people misunderstand their place. You can't buy a toy and expect your sex life to turn around. You need to make consistent effort, risk failures that you're willing to laugh about, and be willing to explore some places outside of your comfort zone.
Good luck!
Ian
Friday, January 7, 2011
The AVN Awards: Best Feature Edition
If there’s a pile of dry Christmas trees piling up on the curb, maxed-out credit card bills in the mailbox and the dreary consolation of the Superbowl right around the corner, it can only mean one thing: it’s time for the annual AVN Adult Expo!
The arguably most important Adult Industry event of the year takes place every year in early January in Las Vegas, in conjunction with the Consumer Electronics Show – a double whammy if you’re a Sex Nerd.
I attended for the first time last year, and I have to admit my mind was blown on a number of levels for a number of reasons. Everything from sales booths for local brothels to a plexi-glass trailer with a dance pole inside to a $7,000 translucent alien sex doll (no, I’m not exaggerating) – and that doesn’t mention all the performers and industry insiders I got to meet (including Serious Porn Crush Girl Aurora Snow, among others!). I'm pretty jaded about most things sexual at this point (but no less fascinated), but when you're a bit of a freak and you stand around with your jaw open thinking to yourself "DAMN, that's freaky!", well, you know you've Arrived.
But I digress. The highlight of the show, and therefore the Porn industry year, is definitely the AVN Awards show. It’s similar to the Oscars, only instead of “Best Supporting Actress” you get “Best Anal Scene” . . . and instead of four or five nominees per category, there are scads. The affair is always terribly hyped, plagued with industry shenanigans, and lasts freakin’ forever, but if you had to draw a circle around the Best Porn on Earth, well, this would be one place to start.
The show is particularly important for the big producers, because the awards showcase their best work. Ironically the esteemed Best Feature category, still the most important, financially, to the producers, actually represents only a minority of the Pornoverse these days. The domination of all-sex gonzo strokefodder since the early 1990s has all but killed the idea of a sex movie with a plot and characters, however badly acted and scripted. It’s just a lot simpler to hire five or six girls and a couple of studs and knock out a weekend wonder than it is to actually pay attention to things like context. The expense of producing a feature is so much higher than a gonzo flick that only a dozen or so production houses make the effort anymore. If it hadn’t been for the recent parody craze, it’s possible that the feature porn flick would die a slow and lingering death.
But those features are de facto showcases of a studio’s ability to attract talented performers and directors and turn out something resembling entertainment. They may not break even on their own, necessarily, but a nomination for Best Feature can add a lot of buzz to one and hype sales. Consider the Adam & Eve/Digital Playground visual masterpiece Pirates, one of the most expensive porn flicks ever made, which not only kicked ass in regular retail sales but also made a lot of bucks in the softcore Skinimax version. A winning feature can put a production studio on the map . . . or save one from bankruptcy.
This year’s contenders for Best Feature include no less than fifteen entrants, and while I haven’t seen them all over the course of the last year, there are some noteworthy contenders for the prize you might want to check out:
Awakening To Love, New Sensations. A porn flick about coma patients. No, really.
Body Heat, Digital Playground. Busty blonde firefighters who screw between calls. No, really.
The Condemned, Vivid. Lesbian revenge gang knocking off bad ex boyfriends. Nice.
The Devil In Miss Jones: The Resurrection, Vivid. The latest trip to the well for this franchise is actually pretty good. While there’s bare homage to the original classic, the story line – about the damned Miss Jones reincarnating as a pretty journalist – is interesting, and the sex is hot.
Fatally Obsessed, After Dark/West Coast. One of the few all-black features to be produced – which should make it eligible for Best Feature on that basis alone. However Fatally Obsessed skips the all-black clichés of gang violence, ghetto culture, and making it big in show bidness for a more mainstream plot: Successful black couple move to the suburbs, crazed real estate agent stalks hunky hubby – hilarity ensues. With an all-star all-black cast, this is the (pardon the pun) dark horse competitor in this contest. But even if it doesn’t win, I think it’s outstanding that a) someone is doing all-black features that b) don’t play into every sexual and cultural stereotype. Call it Buppie Porn, if you like, but it’s a good flick no matter how you classify it.
Malice In LaLaland, Miss Lucifer. Starring Sasha Grey, this dark version of the Lewis Carrol classic puts Malice in an insane asylum. Beautifully shot on 35mm film, performances and scenes are artfully hot. Another dark horse, but a shiny one.
An Open Invitation: A Real Swinger’s Party in San Francisco, Private. Traditionally a “Euro” production company, this scalding-hot feature is part fantasy, part documentary. With a cast of hundreds of amateurs and professionals, it got AVN’s highest rating and a special letter of recommendation from the editor. Consider this a strong favorite to win.
Pornstar Superheroes, Elegant Angel. Instead of just parodying a superhero movie – a worthy task in its own right – Elegant Angel put together an original superhero flick starring four lusty super-powered heroines, results of a Cold War era military experiment. Action-packed and entertaining, outstanding performances by Asa Akira, Kristina Rose, Tori Black and Sadie West, consider this an outside favorite to win.
Rawhide 2: Dirty Deeds, Adam & Eve. The long-awaited sequel to one of A&E’s earlier hits, Rawhide 2 is a modern-day western starring contract stars Bree Olson and Kayden Kross in some of their final work for the company. Busty blondes, horses, and thick-thewed country boys with big dicks make this a solid contender, though it lacks the Old West character of the 2005 original, starring A&E’s longtime contract star Carmen Luvana.
Sanatorium, Zero Tolerance. Plot is simple: Girl (Tabitha Stevens) goes into sex work; girl is condemned for sex work by self-righteous prudes; prudes drive girl near to insanity (hence the Sanatorium) where she gains the clarity to plot revenge by exposing the prudes’ secret vices. Solid (if somewhat dated) plot and outstanding sex make this a good contender, but not a likely winner. Hey, it’s an honor just to be nominated, right?
Scorned, Penthouse. “Hell hath no fury yadda yadda yadda.” A flick about pissed-off women who take revenge when they’ve been, you guessed it, scorned. The plot’s pretty thin, but the performances make it noteworthy. Not much chance of winning, however.
Speed, Wicked Pictures. This epic tale of LA Motorcycle clubs (thing sport bikes and shiny helmets, not leather, denim, and Harleys) includes some of the hottest sex to be filmed this year, including an incredible all-Asian three-way including Anglo-Thai stud Keni Styles. Keni’s one of the very, very few Asian men in Western porn, but he’s built like a tall, well-hung Bruce Lee. Even without Keni this flick would be the favorite to win, but between the novelty and the action, not to mention Wicked’s traditionally well-shot, very hot sex, Speed is the most likely winner of the category this year.
Whatever It Takes, Wicked Pictures. The third entrant from Wicked Pictures (with 3 Days in June and Speed), this is the weakest flick of the three, even though it’s well-acted, scripted, and directed. The problem is the plot: the “suburban wife making extra money by being a part-time prostitute plot has been done ad nauseum since the 1970s. But Tori Black is the reason this flick made the cut. Her performance (and to a lesser extent performer/director Stormy Daniels’) is the reason the movie got the nomination, in my opinion. And while it’s technically well-executed, with the bright and shiny competition around it it’s unlikely that Whatever It Takes has what it takes to take the top spot.
So that’s my round-up of this year’s contenders – stay tuned next week for my re-cap of the big awards show winners!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Nerd Girl Hall Of Fame: Katrina Hill, The Action Flick Chick
Everyone knows some dude who’s into chick flicks . . . I mean really into chick flicks, to the point where you start to wonder. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with it, I guess, and there’s no doubt that he has an easier time talking to wo
men supported by all the valuable insights into feminine psychology he’s gleaned from traveling pants and pianos and ABBA musicals, but . . .
Well, every now and then an extraordinary individual comes along from the other side of the Force, and you meet a chick who’s far more into Iron Man than Steel Magnolias. Katrina Hill, a Texas babe also known as The Action Flick Chick, is one such woman. She developed an enthusiasm – nay, a gloriously nerdy reverence – for action f
licks in her youth, thanks to the unhealthy influence of her brothers.
As a result she’s a Nerd Boy’s wet dream: a smart chick with a hot body who games and cheers at explosions; a girl hard-wired to thrill at the perfect on-screen kill; a fox who can kick your ass at your video game of choice and make you not mind the humiliation so much after she shoots you a sultry glance; a lady who can identify a Russian-made RPG the way most girls can identify a pair of Ferragamo heels.
And the girl has some strong opinions: Her favorite action movie? The classic Tremors (1990). Favorite classic action movie kill? Rambo IV. Favorite fantasy bad ass to train with? Solid Snake. Best horror action flick ever? The Dawn of the Dead remake. You might argue her choices, but I wouldn’t get within arm’s reach while doing so – Action Flick
Chick has a license to kick ass, and she ain’t afraid to use it.Katrina runs the Action Flick Chick blog, where she expounds at length on the merits of the movies, the heroes, the actors, the explosions, and the pure excited terror that defines the genre. She’s passionate about her vocation, escalating the fine art of video violence from the banal to the sublime. A kind of sexy Texas Kali Yuga, she recently won Gamette of the Month at busygamer.com, and is a powerful contender for Gamette of the Year 2010 (You may vote for her here – once a week, please). She’s an ardent Twitterist, and recently cosplayed The Baroness from GI Joe – and I can so totally see it.
Her site is an on-line shrine to all thinks destruction-related, with a delightfully horrific slant – she recently interviewed the cast of The Human Centipede, for instance. Her extensive and well-written reviews tell you exactly what you want to know about a flick, a TV show (she recently reviewed the season finale [as if six episodes is somehow a ‘season’] of the AMC hit zombie-fest The Walking Dead, of graphic novel fame), or live events (she covered the Dallas ComicCon for Attack Of The Show). She’s also the recipient of the first annual G4TV Next Woman Of The Web award. She and her avatar also star in "The Action Chick" webcomic.
Call her a professional fangirl or an up-and-coming webstarlet, the fact is that Katrina is a sassy, smart and sexy nerd girl with a penchant for violent entertainment and an outstanding eye for pop culture trends. I forsee big things for her. And if you’re wondering why I selected her, specifically, for this rare honor over all of the other worthy Nerd Girls out there, it was this tidbit from her interview with Busygamer.com that won me over:
Tell us one of your super secret nerdy fantasies…
Being part of a super-secret black ops team with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the crew of the Firefly, blasting both vamps and reavers while simultaneously playing the x-box 360 all night
long.
Buffy. River. Willow. Zoe. Kaylee. And Katrina. Fighting Reavers and Vampires. Oh, and a bunch of violence-prone hunky guys with guns (plus Wash and Xander) but . . .
I think I might need to change my trousers.
Congrats, Kat! Our newest inductee into the Nerd Girl Hall Of Fame!
Monday, December 6, 2010
Get Your Geek On With Geekscapes!
Okay, while I tend to lean heavily towards the "sex" side of "Sex Nerd", sometimes something comes along that's so nerdy as to be worthy of note on the blog, even if it isn't overtly sexy. This is one of those times.
I was at the NC ComicCon (yes, I'm that much of a nerd) a few weeks ago when something shiny caught my eye (besides a cool dozen issues of the vintage dirty comic book Omaha the Cat Dancer): hanging in a display window outside of one of the booths was the coolest nerdy thing I've seen in a while.
You know that scene in 40 Year Old Virgin (see? I knew I could work sex back into this!) where Steve Carrell freaks out because his girlfriend wants him to sell all of his highly-collectible toys? Well, yes, Virginia, there are nerds out there that are that hardcore about their toys. Indeed, there's a whole subculture of high-end collectible figure collectors out there. You don't have to have won a sci-fi con costume contest to spot a geeky demographic like that. Some of these figures are limited editions and trade for thousands of dollars. Remember that nerdy kid up the street who had every single Star Wars figure, even the elusive and highly-coveted first-edition Boba Fett? Well, he's worth a fortune, now. Only it's not just Star Wars toys: every major entertainment niche has had collectible figures made and traded.
But where to store your treasured figures? Obviously, if you're a serious collector just keeping them in the box is going to feel . . . wrong, somehow. After all, you want to display your prizes proudly, and even if you don't want to play with them and destroy their value, you do want to see them and show them off. But displayed figures get dusty, and can be damaged by harsh UV light, etc. Not to mention accidentally broken when your 4 year old nephew descends on your home and figures out that you have toys he can't touch.
But now you can put your figures on display in their natural environment, thanks to the invention of Geekscapes. Geekscapes are custom-made display cases that can hold as many as six 12" figures (more, if you want it bigger) sealed away from dust and protected from UV light. An internal LED lighting system allows a fully-illuminated display, or optional colored "mood lighting" (like the awesome Cobra Commander throne room I saw at the show). The cases are wall-mounted, meaning you don't have to get a separate piece of furniture to store them on, and decorative glass inserts on the sides allow almost complete 360 degree viewing of your precious figures. The Geekscapes either come plain,
or for an additional fee they can be customized into nearly any setting, the price being dependent upon the complexity. With a starting price of $500 and the really nice ones (like the Predator jungle scene) can go for $1200 or more), it might seem a high price to pay; but consider that one of these boxes can protect $3000-$6000 worth of figures and you can see why plenty of collectors would consider this a worthy investment. The level of detail is magnificent!I got the opportunity to talk to Lance Sawyers at the show, the CEO of 4 Corners Concepts, the company that sells Geekscapes. He started with his own successful framing business, then sought a way to combine his business with his love of comic books and sci-fi. A tall dude with the coolest, nerdiest tattoos on his legs (think superheroes and Star Wars -- this dude is committed!) Lance is a former Sk8r who has been doing this sort of thing for years. Nice guy, on a fundamental level -- he even told me about the time he got to see Carrie Fisher's private tattoo after she wanted to see his extensive ink at a Chicago convention . . . and he claims his tattoos go all the way up. (Dude got felt up by Princess Leia -- how cool is that?) He started a few years ago with GeekBoxes, specialized display cases for rare comic books, and Sk8Boxes, cases for prized skate boards, which saw a tremendous amount of success. Lance had already mastered the art of custom-displaying collections of Sports Memorabilia (big business in the Triangle region he hales from -- home of National Championship-addicted Duke and UNC-Chapel Hill), so moving into something closer to his own interests was natural. Since he collected comics and skated, he went there first.
But last year he realized that there was a large market for custom-made displays for high-end toys, and he started designing his first Geekscape. Each one is different, he says, and he's produced 4 impressive display models which he demonstrated at the NC ComicCon and the Virginia ComicCon, and will be taking to other shows in the near future. Included in his displays are the aforementioned Cobra Commander throne-room (with impressive stained glass windows and Cobra banners fluttering as a poor GI Joe prisoner is about to be decapitated), the lush jungle scene from Predator (his most elaborate and expensive to date), a glorious Geekscape of the recent Dark Knight Batcycle tearing through Gotham by night, an action-oriented GI Joe scene in Afghanistan (complete with desolate landscape and the aire of human desperation). Other projects are already in progress (they can take up to two months to finish, depending on the level of detail), but response has been enthusiastically strong.
"One dude offered me fifteen hundred on the spot, before the show even opened," Lance says, surprised. "I mean, I knew they'd be popular, but . . ."
Lance also makes smaller display boxes for smaller figures, but he doesn't shy away from custom work on a grand scale.
"I got a dude who wants the old Adam West-era Batman scene of Batman and Robin climbing up the side of a building with bat ropes, and someone -- I won't say who -- looking out of the window, just like on the show. But he also wants a custom 'Bat Signal' LED, so that the Bat Signal splashes on the wall above the case. It's going to be tricky, and possibly expensive, but I love the challenge. And there's really no one else servicing this market right now, so if there's a lot of interest, this could become one of my biggest selling products."
Now, if Lance can just do one of the Playboy Mansion . . .
CONTACT LANCE AT 4 CORNERS CONCEPTS FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR OWN CUSTOM GEEKSCAPE . . . AND NO, I DIDN"T DO THIS BLOG POST IN EXCHANGE FOR MY OWN. MY WIFE WON'T LET ME PLAY WITH ACTION FIGURES ANY MORE BECAUSE IT MAKES MY KIDS JEALOUS . . .
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