100,000 Nerds Under One Roof Means Serious Nerd Lust

I was fortunate enough to tag along on a "junket" to Manhattan last weekend, during which I attended what has got to be the largest collection of nerds on the East Coast. The 2011 NYC Comic Con may not sound like a seething cauldron of geeky sexuality, but . . . dude . . . it was.

Sexuality and comic books have a long history, of course. The buxom heroines on the covers of the Golden Age comics and science fiction magazines were blatantly pornographic in an era famous for its repressed sexuality. Once upon a time just possessing a comic book could get you on the couch with a die-hard Freudian, answering all sorts of uncomfortable questions about your mother's underwear.

But comics have moved from the lurid to the tolerated to the indulgent to the mainstream over the course of a lifetime, and the modern medium and its cousins have certainly matured, as art and in subject matter. The NY Comic Con had its share of nostalgic and family-friendly fare, of course, but beyond the graphic novels about brain-eating zombies and unlikely superheroes, vampires both dark and sparkly, and some truly lovely books about sword-swinging mice, there's plenty of raw sexuality seething, in the books and amongst the fans.

Consider: the Anime festival was held in conjunction with the Comic Book con. There were literally thousands of cute Asian girls in miniskirts running around looking like Sailor Moon. No less than three Princess Leias, in full faux-bronze bikinis, were in attendance, one with with an anorexic Jabba The Hutt as an escort. There were Ms. Marvel costumes that inspired a lot of male fantasies, and there were Wolverine costumes, too . . . if walking around without a shirt on, chomping a cigar, with plastic knives strapped to your forearms constitutes a costume. Male or female, ugly or hot, the name of the game was fantasy, and that included an awful lot of illicit fantasy.

There was also a lot of hooking up among the fandom. You just can't put that many horny nerds in one place, in costume, without a certain amount of fantasy-laden casual sex happening.

But what the con taught me most about Nerdom at large was that the typical "Big Bang Theory" stereotype of asthmatic geeks too wrapped up in their toys and fictions to interact on a sexual level is, for the most part, just a lot of crap. The extreme examples of the breed might be outside of mainstream sexuality on the surface, but their passion and enthusiasm lends them a confidence that is the essence of attraction.

In other words, if you're enough of a geek to spend $300 on a set of stormtrooper armor, then you're probably passionate enough to put the moves on the cute pink Twi'lek chick you meet in line at the juice bar. Despite the fact that you're actually a computer analyst from Des Moines and she's a customer service rep at an insurance firm in Pennsylvania, for a few brief hours you have the chance to transcend the mundane considerations of your utterly average life, become a lonely stormtrooper on a godforsaken rimworld and an enthusiastic exotic dancer with a couple of extra tentacles sticking out of your head, and indulge in hot clone-on-alien sex at your hotel room while your roomies are standing in line for autographs.

From such illicit (and possibly mentally unhealthy) liaisons, relationships will form, couples will unite, and a whole new generation of nerdlings will be born. But don't think it's sad and pathetic -- it's not. It's as romantic as a dozen red roses or the big box of chocolates. It's not normal, it's not really mainstream, and it's borderline kinky, but horny nerds acting out their cosplay fantasies, no matter what the genre or medium, is as authentically sexual as you could ask for.

Sure, there are plenty of ugly nerds out there. But there are also some breathtakingly beautiful nerds who did not let their outward appearance seduce them to the dark side of popularity and mediocre teen dramas, opting instead to stretch their boundaries with fantasy and good old fashioned obsession. Not every Captain America costume concealed a pencil-necked geek, nor did every pair of tights sag in all the wrong places: there are plenty of hot nerds out there, both boys and girls. And both kinds are plenty horny. Best yet, the hot nerds usually don't realize that they're hot, which makes them more approachable, somehow, than the boring, pretty, popular people.

I have to wonder, at this point, exactly how the institution of the sci-fi/comic/gaming convention plays a role in the mating cycle of the American Nerd, but I do know a few things about it. Organized conventions have been going on since the early 1970s, if not before. Our forefathers cut loose wearing Spock ears and drinking heavily spiked Romulan Ale. I know for a fact that children have been conceived there, and plenty of nerds find their nerdy life-partners at such celebrations. For some, three generations or more of hard core sci-fi geeks have been haunting the same circles, bringing their brainy DNA to the table to mix with other brainy DNA.

That kind of intense concentration of nerdity over time is going to have an effect. Indeed, conventions in the future may become quasi-religious affairs designed to facilitate the strengthening of the sub-species, with plenty of cross-genre pollination to keep things fresh. Mom and Dad into Trek? Then find a nice Steampunk girl, and spend the rest of your life raising your mutant hybrid superchildren in your house full of valuable collectibles. Are you a die-hard Browncoat who can swear in Chinese and knit ugly hats? There's a super hot Asian nerdette out there with a passion for anime who wants to correct your pronunciation back in her room. Soon your hyper-intelligent offspring will be clobbering the competition in spelling bees every week and building fully-functional super-robots on the weekends. And your grandchildren will be ruling the world through custom game consoles and homemade artificial intelligences.

For we are a proud and valiant people, and we really don't mind the stares and the odd looks. We're having hot, kinky costumed nerdsex while the rest of you are still trying to figure out how to bring up the subject of anal to your long term partner.

Nerd Girl Hall Of Fame: Katrina Hill, The Action Flick Chick

Everyone knows some dude who’s into chick flicks . . . I mean really into chick flicks, to the point where you start to wonder. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with it, I guess, and there’s no doubt that he has an easier time talking to wo

men supported by all the valuable insights into feminine psychology he’s gleaned from traveling pants and pianos and ABBA musicals, but . . .

Well, every now and then an extraordinary individual comes along from the other side of the Force, and you meet a chick who’s far more into Iron Man than Steel Magnolias. Katrina Hill, a Texas babe also known as The Action Flick Chick, is one such woman. She developed an enthusiasm – nay, a gloriously nerdy reverence – for action f

licks in her youth, thanks to the unhealthy influence of her brothers.

As a result she’s a Nerd Boy’s wet dream: a smart chick with a hot body who games and cheers at explosions; a girl hard-wired to thrill at the perfect on-screen kill; a fox who can kick your ass at your video game of choice and make you not mind the humiliation so much after she shoots you a sultry glance; a lady who can identify a Russian-made RPG the way most girls can identify a pair of Ferragamo heels.

And the girl has some strong opinions: Her favorite action movie? The classic Tremors (1990). Favorite classic action movie kill? Rambo IV. Favorite fantasy bad ass to train with? Solid Snake. Best horror action flick ever? The Dawn of the Dead remake. You might argue her choices, but I wouldn’t get within arm’s reach while doing so – Action Flick

Chick has a license to kick ass, and she ain’t afraid to use it.Katrina runs the Action Flick Chick blog, where she expounds at length on the merits of the movies, the heroes, the actors, the explosions, and the pure excited terror that defines the genre. She’s passionate about her vocation, escalating the fine art of video violence from the banal to the sublime. A kind of sexy Texas Kali Yuga, she recently won Gamette of the Month at busygamer.com, and is a powerful contender for Gamette of the Year 2010 (You may vote for her here – once a week, please). She’s an ardent Twitterist, and recently cosplayed The Baroness from GI Joe – and I can so totally see it.

Her site is an on-line shrine to all thinks destruction-related, with a delightfully horrific slant – she recently interviewed the cast of The Human Centipede, for instance. Her extensive and well-written reviews tell you exactly what you want to know about a flick, a TV show (she recently reviewed the season finale [as if six episodes is somehow a ‘season’] of the AMC hit zombie-fest The Walking Dead, of graphic novel fame), or live events (she covered the Dallas ComicCon for Attack Of The Show). She’s also the recipient of the first annual G4TV Next Woman Of The Web award. She and her avatar also star in "The Action Chick" webcomic.

Call her a professional fangirl or an up-and-coming webstarlet, the fact is that Katrina is a sassy, smart and sexy nerd girl with a penchant for violent entertainment and an outstanding eye for pop culture trends. I forsee big things for her. And if you’re wondering why I selected her, specifically, for this rare honor over all of the other worthy Nerd Girls out there, it was this tidbit from her interview with Busygamer.com that won me over:

Tell us one of your super secret nerdy fantasies…
Being part of a super-secret black ops team with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the crew of the Firefly, blasting both vamps and reavers while simultaneously playing the x-box 360 all night

long.

Buffy. River. Willow. Zoe. Kaylee. And Katrina. Fighting Reavers and Vampires. Oh, and a bunch of violence-prone hunky guys with guns (plus Wash and Xander) but . . .

I think I might need to change my trousers.

Congrats, Kat! Our newest inductee into the Nerd Girl Hall Of Fame!

Nerd Girlz Rule

Some dudes like the idea of a big boobed, bubble-butt blonde with a low IQ and high gullability factor -- and while I can relate to that a a visceral level, the fact is that what trips my personal trigger (and I know I'm not alone on this) is the idea of a sexy, intelligent woman whose amazing body is a mere complement to her sexy, saucy brain. Yeah, I dig smart chicks. I have a thing for Hermione Granger and I'm not ashamed about it. I'll pass up a dozen blonde bombshells for the chance to cross swords (so to speak) with the brunette with the book and the glasses in the corner.

Brains and beauty, together, beat beauty alone. Brains, beauty and ambition are even hotter, and when you put brains, beauty and ambition on the same plate with a heaping side order of innovation . . . well, it's hard for me not to moan lustfully.

Case in point: one of my new lust-objects isn't on your standard adult site. She runs her own, The Naked Coder (http://thenakedcoder.com/wordpress/). With the motto "Code is Hot/Naked is Hotter", the site is a model of 21st century innovation.

You see, it's hard for a freelance web designer to make it in today's economy. There are so many, and a spiffy-looking homepage just doesn't stand out the way it used to. You need to throw in some flash, and not the computer kind. You need to throw in some sizzle. You need to get people's attention -- and Sarah White, the proprietor of the Naked Coder, has done just that by stripping down and hacking code the way the computer gods intended.

Sarah makes this promise:

If you’re interested in having a website built, I’d love to do it for you. And you can watch me do it…naked! I know you’ll find my work impeccable, my delivery punctual, and my prices reasonable (considering the perks!). No matter your web desires, I can fulfill them.

And of course there are dozens of more-or-less SFW pics peppering her site. Above is one of the tastier ones, but this nerdy chick has got it seriously going on when it comes to the flaunting of her deliciously svelte bod. The stunning combination of glasses, a trim and seductive body, and dark red hair is a boner-builder of epic proportions. Pressing the laptop up against her tits is just gravy.

Some, of course, will blanche at the idea that this lovely young woman would have to stoop to such stunts even in this economy, and condemn her for trading her dignity for filthy lucre. Those people are technically known as idiots.

What I see here isn't a woman "selling her body", but an intelligent and secure young woman providing a value-added service to her coding skills. There's no shame here, there's pride. All too often our society denigrates the beauty of those women who don't fulfill the zaftig blonde sex goddess role, making them feel inferior to the bombshells despite their undeniable beauty. If you don't look like a Cosmo model, in other words, no matter how pretty you are you are made to feel like a wallflower. This is especially true for the Nerd Girlz, who are not only made to feel inferior about their bodies, but also are socially denegrated for the fact that they have a brain and aren't afraid to use it.

Nerd Girls are not encouraged to consider themselves "sexy", and all too often the perception is that their devotion to the cerebral leaves no room for an active sex life. Having known more than a few, I can testify that the contrary is true: there's more to nerd girlz than a few sexual experiments at band camp. Sarah is making a stand here, whether she realizes it or not, a stand for all those nerdy girls in high school who were made to feel like flat-chested torchbearers while cheerleaders and popularity hounds went out of their way to make themselves feel better and the expense of their far more intelligent sisters.

Finding a good web designer who can deliver is hard enough -- finding one that does all that and who will show you her tits . . . that's priceless. I truly hope that Sarah will continue this spectacularly innovative approach to the mundane world of e-commerce, and I plan on interviewing her about her site. In the meantime, I'm establishing her as the first of my Nerd Girl Hall Of Fame, in celebration of her sexy cerebral celebrity. And if she sends me even more scandalous pix of her, I'll count myself as one fortunate nerd dude.

Thanks, Sarah. You make us all proud.